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Saul Badman

    Hi I'm Saul Badman. Did you know that you didn't have rights? The Constitution says you don't. And so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every man, woman, and child in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Albuquerque! Better not call Saul. Saul Badman, not an attorney

    Guys I lost my virginity to my beautiful girlfriend!

      We’ve been dating for several months and I finally asked the question and she agreed! So I bought condoms from the market and she came over to my place. We played video games and after I won the last match she said she was ready so we both went to my room and we did the deed. It was awkward at first and I didn’t last long 😅but it was overall enjoyable for both of us, and we cuddle together naked and it felt great.
      
      After the cuddling I took my schizophrenia pills along with some water. I turned back and strangely she was gone and all there was, was a body pillow with a hole cut in it.
      
      Oh well she must be busy but yeah today was a great day :P

      Navy Seals Japan version

        Nani the fuck did you just say to me
        Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi, you chiisai bitch desuka? Watashi’ll have anata know that watashi graduated top of my class in Nihongo 3, and watashi’ve been involved in iroirona Nihongo tutoring sessions, and watashi have over sanbyaku perfect test scores. Watashi am trained in kanji, and watashi is the top letter writer in all of southern California. Anata are nothing to watashi but just another weaboo. Watashi will korosu anata the fuck out with vocabulary the likes of which has never been mimasu’d before on this continent, mark watashino fucking words. Anata thinks anata can get away with hanashimasing that kuso to watashi over the intaaneto? Omou again, fucker. As we hanashimasu, watashi am contacting watashino secret netto of otakus across the USA, and anatano IP is being traced right now so you better junbishimasu for the ame, ujimushi. The ame that korosu’s the pathetic chiisai thing anata calls anatano life. You’re fucking shinimashita’d, akachan.

        Spotify – Want a break from the ads?

          Spotify copypasta
          Want a break from the ads? Watch this short video to receive 30 minutes of ad free music. (guitar playing)
          Want a break from the ads? If you tap now to watch a short video you'll recieve 30 minutes of ad free music.
          Thanks for listening to Spotify. No, really. You could've listened to the radio. You could've spun some vinyl. You could've played a cassette tape. You could've listened to an eight track tape, if you knew what an eight track tape looked like. But you listened to Spotify. Thanks for that. And you still have hundreds of more playlists to enjoy
          Want a break from the ads copy paste
          Want a break from the ads? If you tap now to watch a short video you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! Yes, really! If you tap now you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! So what are you waiting for? I'm still waiting.. Why aren't you tapping? Don't you want 30 minutes of ad free music? If you tap now and watch the short video you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! It's that easy! If you want to be free from the ads forever consider buying spotify premium! With spotify premium, you get ad free music, forever! And if you tap below you can get the first 3 months for free! Terms and Conditions apply
          Want a break from the AUGHHHHH? If you tap now to watch a short AUGHHHHH you'll get 30 minutes of AUGHHHHH! Yes, really! If you AUGH now to watch a short AUGH you'll get 30 minutes of AUGHHHHHHHHHHH
          Wanna break from the ads? 🙂🙂😎😎😌 If you tap NOW 🚨 to watch a short video, 😳😳😳🤫 You’ll receive 30 minutes of ad-free music. 😍😍😜🥹😝🤩
          
          Yes, really! 👍👍👍 If you tap now to watch a short video, 😌😌🤫🤫 You’ll receive 30 minutes of ad-free music. 😎😮😮🥶😃😃😍😜
          Wanna break from the ads? If you tap now to watch a short video, you’ll receive 30 minutes from ad free music. Yes, really! If you tap now to watch a short video, you’ll receive 30 minutes of ad free music.

          Andrew Ryan is a man not entitled

            Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? 'No!' says the man in Washington, 'It belongs to the poor.' 'No!' says the man in the Vatican, 'It belongs to God.' 'No!' says the man in Moscow, 'It belongs to everyone.' I rejected those answers; instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose... Rapture, a city where the artist would not fear the censor, where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality, Where the great would not be constrained by the small! And with the sweat of your brow, Rapture can become your city as well.

            No es gracioso, no me reí.

              No es gracioso, no me reí. Tu chiste es tan malo que hubiera preferido que el chiste se me pasara por alto y dejaste de contarme el chiste. Para ser honesto, este es un intento horrible de tratar de burlarse de mí. Ni una risita, ni un jeje, ni siquiera un sutil estallido de aire fuera de mi esófago. La ciencia dice que antes de reírte, tu cerebro prepara los músculos de tu cara, pero ni siquiera sentí la menor contracción. 0/10 este chiste es tan malo que no puedo creer que alguien legalmente te haya permitido ser creativo. La cantidad de poder mental que debes haber puesto en ese chiste tiene el potencial de alimentar todas las casas de la Tierra. Adquiere personalidad y aprende a hacer bromas, lee un libro. No digo que esto sea gracioso, lo digo en serio sobre cómo esto es solo una vergüenza en la comedia. Solo has matado el humor y cada acto cómico del planeta. Estoy tan decepcionado de que la sociedad haya fallado en su conjunto al poder enseñarle cómo ser gracioso. Honestamente, si pongo todo mi poder y tiempo para tratar de hacer que tu broma sea divertida, sería necesario que el propio Einstein construyera un dispositivo para atarme para poder conectarme a la energía de mil millones de estrellas para hacerlo, e incluso entonces todo ese chiste que recibiría la gente es un roce sutil.​

              Open English translated

              It's not funny, I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad that I would have preferred that the joke had slipped my mind and you stopped telling me the joke. To be honest, this is a horrible attempt at trying to make fun of me. Not a giggle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says that before you laugh, your brain prepares the muscles in your face, but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I can't believe someone legally allowed you to be creative. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get personality and learn to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this is funny, I'm serious about how this is just an embarrassment in comedy. You've just killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I am so disappointed that society as a whole has failed to teach you how to be funny. Honestly, if I put all my power and time into trying to make your joke funny, it would take Einstein himself to build a device to tether me so I could tap into the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then that whole joke that people would receive is a subtle touch.