Peter, as we sit here enjoying our meal, I wanted to bring to your attention that there appears to be an unexpected guest among us. It seems that the horse, in some inexplicable manner, has managed to enter the dining room unnoticed and is now standing calmly amidst us. Its large and majestic presence, juxtaposed against the coziness of our dining room, creates a surreal and almost dreamlike ambiance. Despite the unexpected nature of the situation, the horse seems at peace, and its gentle demeanor does not suggest any harm. I thought you would want to be informed of this unexpected and curious occurrence.
Another variation
Peter, as we sit here enjoying our meal, engaged in delightful conversation and savoring the delectable flavors, an extraordinary and utterly unexpected occurrence has taken place, transforming the tranquility of our cozy dining room into an otherworldly scene. To our astonishment, a majestic horse, of all things, has somehow found its way into our intimate space, its imposing presence juxtaposed against the warmth and familiarity of our surroundings.
However, as we take a closer look, our initial amazement gives way to concern. The horse appears to be injured, its movements slow and uncertain, and its vacant expression suggesting some sort of impairment. Although the situation is disorienting, there is a palpable sense of calmness emanating from the horse, and it poses no immediate danger to anyone in the room. It is in these unexpected moments that our empathy and compassion are put to the test, urging us to respond with care and consideration for the well-being of this magnificent creature.
Recognizing the importance of acknowledging this strange and fascinating occurrence, I felt it crucial to bring it to your attention. Together, we can approach this situation with sensitivity and ensure that we take appropriate steps to assist the horse or, at the very least, ensure that it is provided with the care it needs.
In the face of such an extraordinary event, it is essential that we remain calm and composed. Sudden movements or loud noises may startle the horse, potentially exacerbating its distress and leading to an undesirable outcome. Let us cultivate an atmosphere of tranquility, allowing the horse to acclimate to its surroundings without additional stress.
Before taking any action, it is prudent to assess the horse's condition from a safe distance. We must carefully observe any visible signs of injury or distress, taking note of its demeanor and behavior. However, we should exercise caution and refrain from attempting to approach or touch the horse without professional guidance. Injured animals can be unpredictable, and our well-intentioned efforts might unintentionally worsen its condition or place us in harm's way.
Given the complexity of the situation, it would be wise to contact local animal control or a nearby animal rescue organization promptly. These entities possess the necessary expertise and resources to handle such situations appropriately. They will be able to assess the horse's condition, provide the required medical care, and take the necessary steps to ensure its safety and well-being.
When reaching out for assistance, it would be beneficial to provide as much information as possible to the authorities or organization involved. Describing the horse's appearance, behavior, and any observations we have made regarding its injuries or impairment will aid them in understanding the situation comprehensively and responding effectively.
While awaiting professional assistance, it is crucial that we maintain a safe distance from the horse and continue to monitor its condition discreetly. This way, we can promptly relay any changes or signs of distress to the authorities, enabling them to make informed decisions and take appropriate action.
As we navigate this surreal and unexpected event, our actions must be driven by empathy and a genuine concern for the horse's well-being. By approaching the situation with caution and empathy, we can ensure that the appropriate measures are taken to provide the necessary care and attention to this remarkable animal.
Together, let us embrace this unprecedented occurrence and strive to facilitate a positive outcome for the horse, ensuring its safety and restoring the harmony of our cherished dining room.
When my son was 4 years old I took away his mattress and forced him to sleep on the floor every night.
If he did his chores, I closed his window.
If he got straight A's, I gave him a blanket.
If he got in a fight at school and won, I wouldn't force him to take his shower cold.
One day, he asked me,
"dad, why is that no matter how hard I work, I can't seem to earn a bed?"
I slapped him, first - every question carries a price - then responded,
"son, you can work as hard as you can in this world, it doesn't always mean you're going to get what you want."
Then I asked him,
"is there a bed in our house?"
He answered,
"yes, but it's yours, isn't it?"
I punched him again - for the question - then told him
"yes. If you want a bed, you need to fight me for it."
Our president is 80 years old.
The average age of our senate is 64 years old.
Young people expect the older generations to give them everything, they are never raised to fight for and take what they want, so they deserve nothing.
Waking up to my 7 year old with a blade held to my throat was the proudest I'd ever been.
As I slept on the floor, shivering that night in the cold (he also took my blanket and broke my window), I rested soundly, knowing I'd taught him well.
Here it comes yet again: "No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens"
You're Goddamn right I've just been copying and pasting this daily on multiple things. That's the fucking point you ignorant gun fucks. You can send me Reddit cares all you want or say "have an original thought" over and over. You're not getting the point (FYI, it's blocked so I don't get those lovely messages anymore, you will have to say it directly to me... Cowards).
Are we not tired of this? I sure as fuck am.
Now that I have your attention probably after seeing this post for hopefully multiple times I’d like to get something off my chest and personal soapbox today. Buckle up,
"The first girl I walked up to was crouched down covering her head in the bushes, so I felt for a pulse, pulled her head to the side and she had no face."
We live now in a country in which our children are randomly put to death in public, so that our congressmen can pose with weapons of war, by Right Wing Terrorists. We live in a country where the amount of stickers in the back of our lifted trucks equates to how many rounds of AR ammunition are stockpiled in our closet.
We live now in a country where we ban books, where we ban drag shows, where we ban doctors from helping kids in crisis, where we ban women from making choices with their bodies. We ban people from voting because some don’t like how they might vote, we ban representatives from state legislators for how they have voted, we ban immigrants, we ban some stem cells, and we ban transgender athletes, we even ban water bottles on planes.
BUT WE DO NOT BAN ASSAULT RIFLES ( or assault like or lite rifles as some ammosexuals like to point out) DO WE
Our children are randomly put to DEATH in public. Our Teachers, our friends. Our Family. Some of them just want to go and enjoy an afternoon at a mall together. Never to return. To protect somebody's right to randomly put another innocent person to death, once a month, once a week, once a day, once AN HOUR.
So now to boost the signal on some actual honest to god things that could be done about this never-ending nightmare?
For starters, the next generation is tired of this shit and is planning a sit-in at the capital on June 6th. Here is a relevant link:
https://twitter.com/joncoopertweets/status/1655293349245452289
And also this goes without saying this group has some amazing ideas:
https://www.sandyhookpromise.org/
And finally, Check out
https://www.everytown.org/
They’re pushing to end gun violence. The more people who make their voices heard the bigger difference we can make.
EDIT: It would seem that indeed some of them are not cowards and do actually have the guts to say what is really on their minds. Let's have a little look at one of the messages I received today..
"You are a disgrace, a worthless mass of flesh that doesn't deserve to be called a human being. I hope your account is banned and your IP blocked. You are what is wrong with America. Please find a dark crevasse and fall in."
WELL BOO HOO!
(Also this goes without saying thanks for the random awards, I'm sending all of that karma back to others right away to show how tired we all are of this. So please boost those as well. I'm also banned in a few conservative and gun subreddits for some strange reason so feel free to take this and use it however you so feel. This goes for Twitter, Facebook, and others as I won't set foot in that cesspool of social media).
The messages will REPEAT AD INFINITUM until something is done.
Incredible! However, if your energy in your pseudo-mind is not conducive or, yeah, I like the word conducive to what I'm saying or what I'm feeling, then there's incompatibility. So how do you know that? How do you fix that? Well, first you have to understand. You have to look at yourself and say, what kind of energy or what kind of pseudo power do I have to set my atmosphere? Woooooah, That's good. What kind of pseudo-energy do I have that I can create?
Okay fuck you, FNF fans are extremely discriminated against and you won’t support them. This is why I unfollowed you, you just made fun of me. I tried giving you a 2nd chance but you didn’t listen. I hope you enjoy being a bigot who won’t support the minority of gamers.
Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
Response to koala copypasta
I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance.
"Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives."
Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is you’re looking at this backwards.
An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of what’s beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of them——they have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do so——it certainly can’t expend much energy on costly things. Isn’t it a good thing that a niche is being filled?
"Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death"
This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery store—where meat is just sitting next to celery.
Herbivores gradually wear their teeth down—carnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey.
"They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal"
It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals.
"additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons."
Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size.
"If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food."
If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves.
"Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal."
That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop!
"Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here)."
Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram!
"When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system."
Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often shit during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally.
"Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher."
Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza?
"This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree,"
Almost every animal does this.
"which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them."
Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
