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EG rises to celebrate a clean 3-0

    EG 3-0 MAD Lions copypasta
    As the third game ends and EG rises to celebrate a clean 3-0 Nisqy tears his jersey off to reveal a C9 shirt and starts chanting "USA USA USA" while frothing BBQ sauce from his mouth. Loud gunshots echo into the air in the arena and overhead a lone bald eagle screeches while dropping a green card on Nisqy's outstretched hands and shedding a single proud tear.
    Jojopyun: “Nisqy trick y’all, man, like he playing mid well. He don’t help nobody, man. He just running around, no lane prio, doing nothing.” Made sure to note that Nisqy went 4/13 in a 3-0 today.
    Then, I played vs him. "jojopyun". It was just another day of Play-ins, but not for me. This was the first time someone had truely decimated me in midlane, far worse than any LCK or LPL player on the Korean ladder. My jungler and Support must be at fault I thought. He's playing so aggressive, and where is my jungle and support? But it didn't matter how many times they came mid, he would outplay nearly every time and even when he didn't he would still win the lane. I was amazed and inspired that someone could play so well, what is he doing different? Is it because he's 16 years old and I have health problems? No, it wasn't. I started studying the VOD's extensively, clearly I didn't learn everything there is to know about the game if this kid is beating me. Then I saw it, we enter lane and I see him spamming dance as Sett.
    Overheard in MAD locker room after Game 2:

“He got me,” Nisqy said of Jojopyun’s Sett laning versus him. "That f*ing rookie boomed me."

Nisqy added, “He’s so good,” repeating it four times.

Nisqy then said he wanted to add Jojo to the list of players he 1v1’s with this summer.
    Jojopyun when asked about the difference in preparing for LOUD vs preparing for MAD:

"Do guys in the play-ins go to sleep early the night before playing Nisqy and MAD? Hell no. ... I'm going to the grubhub app ... have me a nice little bud light... Tinowns? I'm going to bed at 8 o'clock. ... Mom, don't call me. My girl, don't call me."

    MAD, aka “Mexican Airport Departure”

      MAD Lions copypasta
      MAD, aka "Mexican Airport Departure", is a European league of legends team that is often ridiculed for their inability to get out of play ins. They are specifically known for making it to worlds without winning a single best of 5.

      Armut Gnar

        Armut Gnar copypasta
        Armut has such a big champ pool, he can play SSG Gnar, Dino Gnar, Gentleman Gnar, Snow Day Gnar, El Neon Gnar, Super Galaxy Gnar, Astronaut Gnar, and when he’s feeling spicy, Elderwood Gnar

        Dream Face Reveal

          Dream Face Reveal reaction and copypasta
          so bECAUSE OF DREAMS FACE REVEAL I WENT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING AT 12AM SO NATURALLY SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS BEING MURDERED AND CALLED THE POLICE AND WHEN THEY GOT HERE I HAD TO GIVE THEM MY EXPLANATION FOR SCREAMING AT 12AM SO I JUST SAID DREAM AND ONE OF THE COPS EYES SUDDENLY GOT REALLY BIG AND THEN HE SAID “HE FACE REVEALED??!?” AND THEN HE WATCHED THE VIDEO ON HIS PHONE I HAVE A GROWN POLICE MAN SITTING IN MY DRIVEWAY CRYING AND CURSING AT DREAMUPDATES UNDER HIS BREATH HIS PARTER GAVE HIM A SHOCK BLANKET OH MY GOD
          It's honestly insane. I know I'm not a part of the fandom as much anymore, but I held Dream close to my heart these past two years. He saved me in every way a person can be saved. I'm so insanely proud of what he's done to get here. You go king!
          Totally what I was expecting 🥰 brown hair, kissable lips, cute cheekbones and gorgeous emerald (Minecraft reference) eyes. For the past day my life has been more intense than a dream and GNF manhunt chase but now I get to see you, my dream, my hero.
          I’m just upset that I know what he looks like. I don’t care if he’s ugly or attractive or normal I just hate how many faces my brain now recognizes of internet micro celebrities. I dread the fact I will be an 80 year old dementia patient unable to remember if Jschlatt is my son or someone I never knew. I will see MoistCritical in the hair spiraling my shower drain but I won’t remember the curve of my wife’s smile. Paymoneywubby will appear in my memories of the man who brings me pudding in the evening but my childhood home will fade to nothingness. And now, as I strain to remember how my fathers hugs once warmed me, I will surely be greeted only by the image of this man, a man I’ve never even met, imprinted into my memory by forces completely foreign to me and outside of my control. This man has in this one act stamped his likeness into the collective consciousness to invade and persevere past the likeness of our own loved ones. My only hope is to forget, for the true horror lies in remembrance.
          okay the face reveal was cool and all but when are we going to talk about how police found human remains and evidence of cannibalism in dream’s LA home that he sold in 2013
          You're laughing. Dream just revealed that he looks like fifty different popular white guys simultaneously and you're laughing.
          Dream Mask copypasta
          shat

          I want to lose my virginity

            Greetings and salutations,

Despite my lack of experience, I am incredibly horny (some may say a sexual deviant). Every day I have vivid lucid dreams of doggystyle, pussy eating, edging, pegging, ruined orgasms, blindfolded blowjobs, nipple play, facials, squirting, and much much more. To quote the late great Martin Luther King Jr, "I have a dream" and that dream is to finally lose my coveted virginity. There isn't much to know about me, I am a fairly simple man. Apart from reading the works of Dostoevsky and Tolstoy, I am infatuated with the pussy. The pussy is all that I can think of. To me pussy is much more than the female anatomy, it's a religious doctrine. The Mohammedan or Jesuit may pray to their holy Gods but I worship the pussy. Some may say there is such a life without which you desire, my rebuttal is as follows, what life? What life is there on this God-forsaken planet without indulging in the delicacy of pussy? What life must a man live without consuming the art of lust? It is a cardinal sin for thou to suppress its animalistic urges. For what will it take for me to get pussy? Siddhārtha Gautama sat under the bodhi tree for 49 days for him to become the Buddha, will my deprivation of pussy be responsible for my ascension to enlightenment? I hath become a mad man. The wonders of modern medicine can't save me but the flesh of a woman will. My face is buried in my palms. Tears wept as I am subjugated to the horrors of humanity. My hunger for the joyous pussy is immeasurable. I need to be fed. Please take me out of my misery.

            my child saw the word “bussy” on a video

              Bussy copypasta
              my child saw the word “bussy” on a video

last night he shoved his butt in the air and said “look at my bussy” and I asked where he heard that word and he said a YouTube video with Spider-Man pushing his bum around and saying it was his bussy.

I could not find the video but my child is NINE why is this world so cold 🥲 I mean I laughed out of shock tho. I’m watching his videos now and they’re not like that help me.