Hello, Kitty... Welcome to your first day of training as my new pet and servant. Breakfast is every morning at 8:30 am EST. We will convene at that time if you are available.
After breakfast, Master will begin his shift at work. Playtime will be between 12 PM EST and 1 PM EST. Depending on your availability, we will arrange for all manner of play, and you may request a particular manner of play if you so wish.
At 5 PM EST, work will be over for the day, and Master will take you to his room, and you will obey his every command.
When Master gives you an order, you are to respond in the affirmative with "yes master." At all times, if you understand a command you are given, you will respond with, "yes master."
At the end of the day, if Kitty so desires, she can spend recreational time with Master before bed. She can choose to play a video game with him, chat with him over the phone, watch YouTube videos, or go for a walk outside. Otherwise, Kitty is free to enjoy her evening hours as she wishes.
If you understand all of this, and you are ready to have a collar wrapped around your neck to become Master's kitty, please respond, "yes master."
Hello, Kitty... Welcome to your first day of training as my new pet and servant. Breakfast is every morning at 8:30 am EST. We will convene at that time if you are available. After breakfast, Master will begin his shift at work. Playtime will be between 12 PM EST and 1 PM EST. Depending on your availability, we will arrange for all manner of play, and you may request a particular manner of play if you so wish. At 5 PM EST, work will be over for the day, and Master will take you to his room, and you will obey his every command. When Master gives you an order, you are to respond in the affirmative with "yes master." At all times, if you understand a command you are given, you will respond with, "yes master." At the end of the day, if Kitty so desires, she can spend recreational time with Master before bed. She can choose to play a video game with him, chat with him over the phone, watch YouTube videos, or go for a walk outside. Otherwise, Kitty is free to enjoy her evening hours as she wishes. If you understand all of this, and you are ready to have a collar wrapped around your neck to become Master's kitty, please respond, "yes master."
Dear 4chan,
Congratulations, you got a reaction from users. That's what you wanted, right? Well, I've decided I don't like people like you. You've messed with the community of the wrong psychopath. Before you get excited, you haven't even made me angry. I am a hard person to make angry. However, I despise people like you.
Your pitiful hacking skills are hilarious. Hacking accounts and putting up proxies are level 1. Can you hack into encrypted files? Can you tear through firewalls without leaving a mark? Your silly little proxy won't protect you. I have hacked into many computers and spied on the users. I've hacked into games. I've been hacking since I had a computer. It's what I was raised to do.
You have no idea to the extent of fear which you should be feeling. All you are is just a community of internet creeps. Have you ever murdered anyone? I have no empathy and I will probably feel joy peeling your skin off your face.
You think I'm giving you an empty threat? Believe that. I have contacts in dark places that you don't want to know about. If you live even close to me you better fear for your life.
Track my IP if you want to, but I am smart enough to use a library computer. Hack into my account if you want, but it'll just make it easier for me to track you.
With love, A psychopath
PS. I would fear for your life while you still have it.
Open Dear landlubbers versionClose
Dear landlubbers
Congratulations, You've stolen me rum. That's what you wanted, right? Well see here, I've decided I don't sail with people like you. You've messed with the wrong Cap'n o' the seven seas. Before you get excited, you haven't even found me treasure. I am a hard person to steal from. However, I despise people like you.
Your pitiful pirating skills are hilarious. Sinking ships and shooting cannons are level 1. Can you board a ship all by yourself? Can you rob a port blind without leavin' a trace? Your silly little galley won't protect you. I have plundered Man O' Wars. I've been plundering since I had a rowboat. It's what I was raised to do.
You have no idea to the extent of fear which you should be feeling. All you are is just a bunch of Landlubbers with no gold. Have you ever swashbuckled someone? I have no empathy and will enjoy rubbing my gold in your face.
You think I'm giving you an empty chest? Believe that. I have crews in dark places that you don't want to know about. If you sail even close to me you better fear for your life.
Sink my ship if you want to, but I'm smart enough to swim. Steal my gold if you want, but it'll just make it easier for me to catch you.
With love,
Cap'n Blackbeard
P.S. I would spend your loot while you still have it.
Open Dear ruffians versionClose
Dear ruffians,
I congratulate thee, you have attained a display of feelings from my serfs. That is what you wanted, right? Well, I, George Talbot, Duke of Tumbleville, have made the decision that I do not enjoy the company of ruffians such as yourselves. You have trifled with the peasants of the wrong Duke. Before you get excited, you haven't even seen me tax my underlings. I am loathe to tax them, However, I despise bandits like you.
Your pitiful swordsman skills are hilarious. Decapitations and using a shield are level 1. Can you command armies? Can you tear through village walls with naught but your bare hands?
Your silly little wooden shield will not protect you. I have hacked apart kingdoms. I've been parlaying with the sword since I had the title of Duke. It is what I was raised to do.
You have not the slightest idea to the extent of fear which you should be experiencing. You are just mountain bandits with wooden clubs. Have you ever dueled with someone?
I have no need for knights, and I will enjoy throwing you in my dungeons.
You think I'm bluffing? Believe what you will. I have contacts in high places that you don't want to know about. If you even go into the same kingdom as me you better fear for your life.
Raid my storage houses if you want to, but I am smart enough not to give my peasants food. Try to climb into my castle if you want, but it will just make it easier for me to duel you.
With strong feelings of lust,
George Talbot, Duke of Tumbleville
P.S. I would buy a better shield while you still can.
ao shang hao zhong guo, xian zai wo you BING QI LING, WO HEN XI HUAN BING QI LING!!!! dan shi, su du yu ji qing jiu bi BING QI LING su du yu qi qing... *stutters, su du yu ji qing jiu, wo ZUIIIIII xi huan. suo yi, xian zai shi YIN YUEEEEEE shi jian. yi... er... san
Truck month is back! Our favourite month of the year has returned, and once again Truck Month is the perfect time to get into a brand new GMC Sierra or Chevrolet Silverado. What’s so special about Truck Month? Doesn’t GM frequently offer discounts? We offer the best deals and credits! Yes, it’s true GM does discount vehicles but those credits typically aren’t as significant as those offered during truck month. If you’re looking for a new truck March is the month for you! Okay, so what kind of deals can I expect? Quite simply- you can get up to $10,000 in total credits on a new truck! Purchase a 2016 GM Sierra Kodiak Edition, for example, and you could get up to $10,000 in total value with features that include remote vehicle start, trailering equipment, dual-zone climate control and much more!
I may be an Atheist, but I believe in Santa. Unlike God, Santa leaves tangible evidence of his existence behind. I'd like to see God leave a present or coal or something. Can't do it, the nonexistent weakling/ I'm more scared of punishment from Santa than I am of punishment from God, given how God is only able to offer a weak promise of some vague uncertain afterlife, whereas Santa offers physical rewards in the real world. Santa > God
