Alright /b/, this is the story about how I went hunting for a deer with only my fucking fists.
The only reason I reveal this to the world is because Easter reminds me of the event and I'm high as fucking shit.

>Be freshly 19
>Decide I hadn't went hunting for a long time
>Fuck it, it's easter brek
>No college for the break
Decide to visits grandparents at mother's suggestion
>Waaaaay out in the sticks
>Spent my dats just sitting around on comfy as hell furniture
>BUT
>I was going hunting dammit
inb4 hunting out off season
>Private property
>I'm bigger than the law
>Got up from fur lined couch
>Went to the fucking gun cabinet
DOOMGuy'sBackpack.png
>BUT WAIT
>Grandparents out of the house to easter service at church
>Grandpa had the keys to the fucking gun cabinet
>Fuck you grandpa, I"m going hunting
>Like a roll for lock picking in D&D I went to open it
Natural fucking 1
>Fuck
>Think I broke the lock
>Fuck it, I'm going hunting
>Remember the days on /k/
>Remember I saved some handy info graphs
9001 scrolls later
>Find one for a snare
>We're in business boys.
>Farmhouse is old and dusters than grandma's pussy at thispoint
>Crouching as I dig for some rope
>Find rope that could hang even the biggest of Tumblr user
>Head out for the biggest mistake of my life
1/?
Cont.?

>Had to go back to the house because I forgot bait
>Wtf do deer eat
Pic related
>Grab some shit from kitchen and garden
>I'm in the woods deep as fuck
>See some tracks in the dirt
>Fuck, not deer
>Wait 
>Saw more tracks
>These were definitely for a deer
>Feel like Arnold SquashANigger setting up traps for the Child Predator
>Even rub  some mud on my face in sort of Rambo stye
>Might not have been mud
>Hard to recall
>Anyway
>My work is done
>Admire the work worthy of Artemis, Master of the Hunt
>Go off a couple yards and lie down in the grass
>Had some sticks around me like fucking Eeyore
>Also slight depression
>Waited for what seems to be about 4 fucking hours
>Only activity was a text from grandparents
>Asking about the busted lock on the gun cabinet
>Fuck
>Lie and say I didn't know
>Lie and say I left the house almost after them to wander ye olde" town
>Never got found out 
>But suffice to say 
>Cabinet got replaced with safe
All'sWellThatEndsWell.png
>Hear a crinkle
>As if a fatass opened up a Snickers
>Looked up and saw a doe
>Doe, a deer
>A female deer
>Fucking love that movie
2/?

>Hold my fucking breath
>Watch it steadily walk towards the bait I had brought
>Fresh, and early Strawberries and Cap'n Crunch
>Holy fuck
>She's taking the bait
>You took the bait
Kidding
>You'll wish tho, compared to what you'll read next
>She's bent forward and sniffing the food
>Her front hoof goes forward
YouActivatedMyTrapCard.jpg
>Snaps her up quick as fuck
>The yell she did was ear splitting
>In an instant I was on her with more rope
>Like a pedophile in a game of tag
>Tackled her to the ground and got my arms around her back legs somehow while on her back
>Holy fuck she was kicking
>Tied it around both calfs
>Not as easy as it sounds
>Like holy fuck
>Nailed me in the side of the head
>Would've actually hurt had my body weight not been restraining her
>But anyway
>Tied her legs up
>Second time was much easier
>Backed up for a second
>Sat in disbelief
>Holy fuck
>I did it
>But then /b/
>Then i made a horrible mistake
3/?

>Happy as absolute fuck I put my hand on the deer's back
>Trying to calm it down
>When I saw it was a doe, I first thought
Fuck. I"m not gonna get any horns.
>Decided if it high the snare I'd see if I could take it down and see if it was possible to hunt barehanded
>Then probably just let it go and set up shop a ways away
>Now I was about to let it go but I noticed something
>Her fur felt soft and amazing
>My heart was fucking racing from the wrestle
>I also felt very hot
InstantBoner.jpg
>I looked at the deer as saw it had stopped struggling for the most part
>I didn't even think
>lightly guided it to a skinny, but sturdy looking tree right there
>With more rope I tied her back, right leg to it
>Tied rope around a tree to the left and her back, left leg
>Pulled out my knife and cut the two rope holding together her legs
>Quickly, but softly I fastened the rope on the left
>She was all fucking redy
>Couldn't move
>Legs open
>Inviting
>Wet
>I ripped of my clothes faster than superman can change in a phone both
>Took a big, wet spit onto my
>Diamond
>Twitching
>Barely contained dick
>Like you don't even know
>I was harder than Graphene
>My dick was lubbed up and ready to to go
>I swear it just went it
>Like the sweet mix of pleasure and fear on your first water slide ride
>The deer shivered and did a sort of moan
>It just made me even harder
>I get the deer twitch and grip on m y dick with every fucking thrust
>I hit that shit like a fucking E. Honda Hyakuretsu Harite

>I beat that shit up man
>And the deer was loving it
>More than once she would seize up around my dick and spasm like hell
>Holy shit
>Like Jacuzzi jets on all my dick
>Before long, I had came inside with the force of a thousand suns
(Post the file)
>I don't know who came harder or who was panting harder
>Me or the deer
>Just then I discovered Satan was real
>I had a thought that proclaimed
She has two other holes.
4/?

>Using another sick I found I made a makeshift bit out of the last of my rope
Relax PETA. She was bitting it with her back teeth. It wasn't hurting her like an actual bit.
>Threw my already hard again dick down her mouth and felt her lounge run all across it
>Even very gentle nibbles
>She would had bit my dick off had the rope not been there
>Holy fuck the feeling was eternal
>Came faster the second time just as hard
One last hole
>Took the condom I had in my wallet out
Who wants deer shit on there dick?
>Plus it was heavily lubed
>Went in with a bit of effort
>Like a fucking asshole
>Magnificent
>Came after about 30min
>Not much cum
>Now my balls kinda hurt
>The deer was in a state of pleasured euphoria
>Deiced to cut it down
>Just played there on the ground
>Breathing heavily
>But very calmly
>Cum just dripping from her pussy
One
More
Time
Daft Punk
>Laid down on the ground and made love just like this
>For and hour
>Just making sweet love
>Took about 4hours to just lay there and cuddle the deer
>Afterwards we fucked again
>And I sear on everything holy
>Her legs held me in and she pumped with me
>Cam harder than I ever had in  my entire life
>She came right with me
>Before long the sun had set
>I dressed and looked upon my lover
>She was just sitting there
>Watching me as I left
>I didn't look back

TL;DR
I went out to hunt, and instead fucked and defiled a deer in every way imaginable. Gaining a love and longing for her that last to this day. Mix that with the guilt of knowing I fucked a deer and I an a shell of a man.

Goodnight /b/.