Trump sat back in his chair with a smirk. He was ecstatic about the fact that the constitution would protect him from democracy due to the fact that the only way to remove him from office was to put him in a peach. A PEACH. He could never fit in such a small object, such a feat was impossible. "ORDER ORDER" said Pelosi. "Donald Trump, you have abused executive power for far too long. I order that you are put in peach" Trump laughed. "Your honor, there is no way I can fit in peach." Pelosi grinned and then turned to the gates at the back of the room. "BRING OUT THE GIANT PEACH." Trumps heart stopped. The gates slowly and ominously opened to reveal a massive peach the size of a two story building. "I-impossible" Trump said, his orange skin turning pale. "How could this be?" "Today Ladies and Gentlemen..." said pelosi with an even wider grin. "Blumpf In peach"
When you were partying, I studied the blade. When you were having premarital sex, I mastered the blockchain. While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated inner strength. And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gate you have the audacity to come to me for help.
When you were partying
I studied The Blade
When you were having premarital sex
I mastered The Blockchain
While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity
I cultivated Inner Strength
And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gate you have the audacity to come to me for help?
porra mano fui pra smart fit ontem pra fazer peito e triceps ta ligado
ai la no canto tem uma area de crossfit puta area merda kkkkkkkkkkkk nem sei pq falei isso mas e dai
enfim, tava la fazendo um fly suavao ai do nada me entra um palhaço na academia
velho to falando de um palhaço mesmo, nao tipo o it ou tiririca que eh um meia foda de um palhaço
eh um palhaço mesmo mano, pique os de circo manja
suave tava no descanso do bi-set so fiquei de olho
mano o palhaço nao vai no rack dos peso e cata 3 anilha de 25 kilo e começa a faze malabaris no bagulho
porra jao 25 kilo cada
a porra da academia travou pra ver aquele filho da puta brincando como se fosse com bolinha de tenis tiu
ai um dos instrutor, o mais merda ne tinha q ser
chego nele e falo "o jao para com essa porra ai vai machuca alguem mano"
o palhaço olho pra ele sorrindo e ignoro
nao e q deu merda, o ronald mcdonald do caralho solto uma anilha bem no pe e ele começa a chora q nem um bebe, no mesmo timbre
o instrutor entro em choque
ai o palhaço tira o sapato nr 55 dele e mostra que nao pegou, seguido de um HONK HONK com o nariz
mano esse bagulho foi foda
o instrutor saiu e foi procurar a gerente da academia q tava na recepçao dando o cu sei la fazendo o q
quando eles voltaram o palhaço ja tava fazendo dropset de agachamento com 160kg, negada tava pirando vendo aquele cuzao
na hora o palhaço viu eles e agacho com tudo
as calça dele rasgou e começou a cair uma pa de jujuba e ele gargalhando
mano foi o pior dia da minha vida, amei
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damn bro i went to smart fit yesterday to do chest and triceps ok
there in the corner there's a crossfit area shit area kkkkkkkkkkkk I don't even know why I said that but so what
Anyway, I was doing a sweaty fly and then out of nowhere a clown enters my gym
old man I'm talking about a clown, not like the it or the sedge that's a half fuck of a clown
he's a real clown bro, cut the circus ones
smooth was on the bi-set rest so I kept an eye
bro, the clown doesn't go to the weight rack and picks up 3 25 kilo washers and starts juggling the stuff
damn already 25 kilos each
the fucking gym crashed to see that son of a bitch playing like it was a tennis ball
there one of the instructors, the shittiest one didn't have to be
I go up to him and say "jao stop with that shit, it's going to hurt someone bro"
the clown looks at him smiling and ignores
It's not like shit, the fucking ronald mcdonald drops a band right on his foot and he starts crying like a baby, in the same timbre
the instructor is in shock
then the clown takes off his shoe nr 55 and shows that he didn't take it, followed by a HONK HONK with his nose
man this shit was fuck
the instructor left and went to look for the gym manager who was at the reception giving her ass what she was doing
When they came back the clown was already doing a squat dropset with 160kg, I was freaking out watching that asshole
at the time the clown saw them and I crouched down with everything
his pants ripped and a piece of jelly beans started to fall and he laughed
bro it was the worst day of my life, i loved it
Quando começamos a namorar, o pai dela me perguntou: "você trabalha?"
Eu todo feliz, respondi que sim.
"Você trabalha com o que?"
- Eu sou chapeiro, trabalho no centro.
Ele questionou:
"O que um chapinha faz?"
Eu todo tímido respondi: eu faço hambúrguer senhor.
Minha namorada tava com olho arregalado, pegou na minha mão e disse: 'pai, a gente vai sair e depois vocês conversam mais."
Assim que saímos, ela disse:
"Amor, não liga pro meu pai!"
Eu falei que estava tranquilo, mas por dentro já me veio o medo de perde-la.
Saímos e foi tudo perfeito, eu queria pagar a conta, mas ela fazia questão de rachar.
No dia seguinte quando fui buscar em casa, eu ouvi o pai dela cochichar: "O que aquele assalariado tem pra te oferecer?"
Nossa mano, aquilo acabou com a minha noite mais uma vez.
Quando minha mina saiu, ela estava tão linda e com um sorriso disfarçado. Como se estivesse segurando o choro.
A gente foi numa pracinha e ela tava tão caladinha.
Eu perguntei:
O que foi amor?
"- nada vida."
Eu olhei nos olhos dela e disse: não desista de mim!
Os olhos dela se encheram de lágrimas.
Eu estava no 9° período da faculdade de enfermagem. No último periodo comecei a fazer estágio.
8 meses depois, eu aposentei meu avental preto e estreei o meu jaleco branco.
Na minha formatura só estava ela e minha mãe. Elas estavam chorando com orgulho de mim.
Peguei a recisão, dei entrada em um AP de 40m². Meus amigos fizeram um chá de casa nova e mobiliei aos poucos.
Mesmo sem cama e sem sofá, adivinha quem tá grávida de 3 meses e tá aqui comigo hoje?
A amiga dela que conheci em uns encontros de amigos e acabei vendo que era o amor da minha vida ISSO MESMO
Não importa o que a mulher passou contigo, você não se torna prisioneiro por isso , se você se apaixonar por outra garota, largue e constitua um novo amor
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When we started dating, her father asked me: "do you work?"
Me all happy, I replied yes.
"What's your occupation?"
- I'm a hatter, I work downtown.
He questioned:
"What does a chap do?"
Me all shy replied: I make burger sir.
My girlfriend had wide eyes, she took my hand and said: 'Dad, we're going out and then you can talk more.
As soon as we left, she said:
"Love, don't mind my dad!"
I said I was calm, but inside I was already afraid of losing her.
We left and everything was perfect, I wanted to pay the bill but she insisted on splitting.
The next day when I went to get it at home, I heard her father whisper: "What does that salaryman have to offer you?"
Jeez bro, that ruined my night yet again.
When my mine came out, she was so beautiful and with a smile in disguise. As if holding back tears.
We went to a little square and she was so quiet.
I asked:
What happened dear?
"- nothing life."
I looked into her eyes and said: don't give up on me!
Her eyes filled with tears.
I was in the 9th period of nursing school. In the last period I started to do internship.
8 months later, I retired my black apron and debuted my white lab coat.
At my graduation there was only her and my mother. They were crying proud of me.
I took the termination, I entered an AP of 40m². My friends made a new house tea and I furnished it little by little.
Even without a bed and without a sofa, guess who is 3 months pregnant and is here with me today?
Her friend that I met at some friends' meetings and ended up seeing that she was the love of my life THAT'S RIGHT
It doesn't matter what the woman went through with you, you don't become a prisoner so if you fall in love with another girl, let go and make a new love
eu não sei se vocês sabem mas eu sou uma pessoa que come muito limão e abacaxi, e irmao, isso altera muito o gozo. eu sou basicamente o homem aranha, fiz uma teia de porra de um lado do banheiro ate o outro, nao limpei e agora to chamando de ponte de formiga açucarado
minha porra ta tão borrachuda que parece um pneu, como eu consegui fabricar algo tao incrível quanto a isso? agora vou esperar ate amanhã e criar mais uma ponte açucarada. e nem disse mas a sensação do jato saindo pela cabeça do pau é incrível, porque vai muito rapido e muito longe e da mo sensação boa, é tipo um mijo de prazer, saca?
edit: to a 2 semanas gozando no banheiro inteiro e ta quase impossível andar por aqui sem melar a cara de porraKKKKK, serio msm, mas como todavia no entanto tem seus problemas, tá começando a feder e nao acho muito bom trocar agua por limonada, to tendo problema sérios de saúde ja. meus amigos dizem que isso é nojento mas eu acho incrível o meu palácio, virou meu hobby ficar gozando o banheiro, todo dia no fap fap
VAI TEIA
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I don't know if you know, but I'm a person who eats a lot of lemons and pineapples, and brother, that changes my enjoyment a lot. I'm basically spiderman, I made a fucking web from one side of the bathroom to the other, I didn't clean it and now I'm calling it a sugar ant bridge
my shit is so rubbery it looks like a tire, how did I manage to manufacture something as amazing as this? now I'll wait until tomorrow and create another sugary bridge. and I didn't even say it but the feeling of the jet coming out of the head of the dick is incredible, because it goes very fast and very far and it gives me a good feeling, it's like a piss of pleasure, you know?
edit: I've been cumming in the entire bathroom for 2 weeks and it's almost impossible to walk around here without getting my fucking face KKKKK, seriously, but since it still has its problems, it's starting to stink and I don't think it's very good to change water for lemonade, I'm having serious health problems right now. my friends say it's disgusting but i think my palace is amazing, it's become my hobby to make fun of the bathroom, every day on fap fap
GO WEB
