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The first time I met Kliff Kingsbury

    Kliff Kingsbury

    The copypasta was originally written by u/FHSlaughter on meeting Kliff Kingsbury on the Arizona Cardinals subreddit back in 2022.

    I met him once at a Scottsdale nightclub, he was in a booth with three gorgeous women draped around him with a bottle of champagne on ice in the middle of the table. I yelled over the blaring Old Town Road remix “Go Cards!”. I expected just a wave back or to be completely ignored, but to my surprise he gestured me over to his table. As I got closer, I realized he was piss drunk. A wave of Calvin Klein and whiskey sours washed over me as he leaned in.

“I’m interviewing these lovely ladies to be my new D coordinator,” he said with a wink and a chuckle. Before I could respond, he spun me around and slapped my ass so hard I fell right into a bottle girl. When I finally got back up and turned around, him and the women were already gone.

Cool guy.

    Fuck it. I’m gonna glaze miz while being a reddit hater.

      Ludwig x Miz copypasta
      Fuck it. I'm gonna glaze miz while being a reddit hater. Ludwig wishes he was as entertaining as Mizkif. Mizkif might have an ego but he isn't afraid to look like a clown. Ludwig on the other hand, can't for the life of him create content that doesn't revolve around protecting the 'perfect' image he's created. Now why wouldn't a fake person like that jump at the chance to take down a 'friend' and gain even more popularity at their expense? Only person Ludwig cares about is numero uno. I'm not naive, to be a streamer you gotta be somewhat narcissistic, that's just part of the job description, but Ludwig is the flavor of narcissism that American folk singers would sing about while playing the fiddle to warn others about preserving your humanity. Holy shit. Give me my reddit gold strangers. Fuck me man.

      Christopher, my son, did I ever tell you the full story of Shelob?

        Originanl Shelob copypasta from 4 chan
        Christopher, my son, did I ever tell you the full story of Shelob? You know, the monstrous spider - descended from the vile Ungoliant! - which I used to read aloud of in our Oxford meetings of the Inklings? Well what I didn't mention back then was Shelob could also transform into a totally hot babe: all pale and dark and wan like Rebecca in lvanhoe or what will later come to be known as the goth subculture. In fact she looked very much like the pornographic actress Stoya who will be born 13 years after I die. Christopher, I will be entrusting you with my estate. If there is ever a videogame adaptation of my work you must make sure they get this Shelob right - make sure she is what the Anglo-Saxons would have called a hæða ecge, a real sexy bitch.

        I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of Genshin.

          Based on the original I’m sick of Xianling copypasta.

          I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Genshin. I try to play HSR. The communities have a daily post about Genshin. I try to browse gacha communities. Every post has Genshin mentions. I try to browse regular gaming communities. There's a monthly genshin hate thread. I try to see memes. I see a genshin neckbeard meme every 2 seconds. I browse fanart. Every character is from genshin. I mute the word. I leave all game communities. My favourite youtuber gets sponsored by genshin. "Download genshin impact" they tell me. I go to an anime convention. There's genshin everywhere. A talking fairy comes out "Traveller it needs 80 gb of space". She grabs my pc and forces me to download it. "You just need to spend some money on it" I can't do it, I don't have enough money. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She takes all of my food and leaves."Ehe te nandayo?" There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing, but pure billions of dollars in revenue. What a cruel world.

          Welcome to Playtime

            Greetings, Employees, and welcome to your first day here in Playtime! We’re certain that in the days to come you’ll find your new family here every bit as loving and supportive as your own. Feel free to wander the halls! Sit in the mess for lunch! Or watch our children play and learn to their little heart’s content. Join the Innovationists, where the bounds of science are continually pushed. Or join the Counselors of Playcare, whose diligence and care for our children will help shape a brighter future, just you see. Now, every part of you has your part in that future, so should you come back tomorrow feeling unhappy for where you are, or what you have done… worry not, for your supervisor is here and happy to listen! And…

Should you come back… years later… your conscience finally getting the better of you. May you descend into the dark and the dust, finding all that awaits you are incomprehensible horrors… each hungry for your return, each eager that they might find you. Perhaps they’d smile at you from a shadow, their smiling mouths full of teeth and meat and plastic, watching and waiting patiently for their turn at a warm welcome. Or perhaps they won’t allow you such time to figure your place in the world you’d left. A world that’s theirs now.

Welcome home.

            I genuinely hate lanky box so much

              I genuinely hate lanky box so much, his content is cringe and he doesn’t know how to make ANYTHING REMOTELY good, I swear nothing he can make is watchable unless you want to torture yourself or your just a brain dead child, like dude, PUT EFFORT INTO YOUR VIDEOS! You have SO MUCH DANG SUBSCRIBERS, there are people out there who make WAAAAAAY better content then your stupid bait, actually, I’d dare say almost EVERYONE can make better videos then you can, your content is garbage, your humor is garbage, your PLUSHIES are garbage, and somehow you can make the best things on the internet and turn it into GARBAGE! You’re literally ruining fandoms the moment you release a single video about the thing the fandom likes! And then kids FLOCK to that fandom and absolutely demolish it until there is practically nothing remaining! Like cmon dude, just stop, there is nothing you will gain out of making absolute crap like this other then a fan base made purely to hate on you, you should NOT be allowed to be that popular with the dumb stuff you make, like literally, YOUR VOICE IS OBNOXIOUS TOO! Not only can you not make ANY good music, the moment I hear the voices I immediately want to KILL MYSELF! Seriously, if this doesn’t prove my point, I don’t know