I got a twelve-pack of that gorilla. That shit you can only find walking along the hashish transport paths in Azerbaijan. I'm smoking on Bhutanese shadow garden grown dark evil pack. They watered this with the blood of 36 dragons. Shit's so purple it should be asking me "where's Ronald?" Nigga, this shit will turn your pacemaker off. Nuclear levels of sour. Lung slaughtering, necromancer kush. Shit got diamonds on it so you know the THC to CBD ratio is fuckin' swag nigga. A whiff of this shit? Yeah this that nefarious evil sorcerer Moon Grass. This shit straight out of Caelid. This shit is what shot Tupac. RIP my nigga for real dog. Peace.
😢💔🍝💼 My heart is shattered into a million pieces. 😭 I had been saving my last piece of ravioli 🍝 for the perfect moment, and I thought that moment had come. But as I reached into my pocket 💼 to retrieve it, I fumbled and it fell onto the ground. 😞 The ravioli was ruined, and so was my day. The tears won't stop flowing 😢, and I can't help but think that nothing will ever be good again. 💔
😞👎🏼💔🍝🌧️ Why does life have to be so cruel sometimes? ☹️🤧🍝 My last piece of ravioli, my only source of comfort, now lying in a puddle of rain water ☔️ and dirt 😭. I feel like I've lost a part of myself, and I don't know how to go on 💔.
😢😭👎🏼🍝👋🏼😩😫💔 Why did fate have to be so cruel to me? 😞🌧️ I just wanted to enjoy my ravioli 🍝, to savor every bite 😋, but now it's all ruined 👎🏼. My stomach growls in hunger 😩, but all I can feel is the emptiness and disappointment 😫. I can't believe this happened to me 💔.
😔😞👎🏼🍝🥺🙏🏼💔 I can't help but wonder what I did to deserve this 🤔. Was it something I said or did? 🤷🏻♂️ I know it may sound silly, but I wish I could turn back time ⏰ and do things differently. Maybe then my ravioli 🍝 would still be in my pocket 💼, safe and sound. But now, all I can do is pray 🙏🏼 for a miracle to bring my ravioli back to me 💔.
😢👀💔🍝💦😭 Every time I close my eyes, I see my precious ravioli 🍝 lying in the dirt 💦. It's like a constant reminder of my failure 😞. I should have been more careful, I should have been more appreciative of what I had. Now, it's too late 💔.
😩💼🍝😔😫💔 I can't even bring myself to throw away the container that held my ravioli 💼. It feels like the last piece of evidence that it ever existed 😔. But it's empty now, just like my heart 😫. I wish I could go back to the moment before I spilled it, to hold onto it just a little tighter 💔.
😞🍝💔😭👀🌧️💦 I keep replaying the moment in my head, wishing I could have done something to prevent it 💭. But it's no use, the damage is done 💔. And now, even the rain ☔️ seems to mock me, as if adding insult to injury 😔. It's like the universe is conspiring against me, making me suffer for no reason 💔.
😢💔🍝😞😩😫🥺😭 The worst part is, I don't even know what to do now 😔.
Guys, this OiNch?
It's giniminysaurus,
or whatever you say,
gigantasaurus, gimantast
bimantamorous.
some metamorphu-
gigantanorstus.
Mmmhm.
GIMORNOUS
Guys, this orange?
Is ginamonosaurus
Whatever you say giganosaurus
Giamettus ab metamoros
Sametafmorf, giganonorstus
Mhm, gimornus.
Guys this orange 🍊
Is gineminosaurus 🤯
Whatever you say 🌝
Giganosaurus 🦕
Gimetus- ba- 😬
Menamorus 🐊
Symetamorph 💊
Gygano norstis 🧐
Mhm 😌
Gymornis 🦖
Guys, this orange? It's giniminysaurus, or whatever you say, gigantasaurus, gimantast- uh, bimantamorous. It's a metamorphu- gigantanorstus. Mm-hm. Gimornous.
Candice? Oh I know Candice. We first met on the island of Sugandhi. You know, just off the island Garglononn. She works at the Wendys just off the highway E 10. She enjoys Fitness, as well as Tapes and CD's. Specifically those of the band Imagine Dragons. She is in rehab right now, came down with an awful case of Ligma from smoking too much Mind Goblin. But none of that is important. What is important, is that she is finally getting Updog.
Candice? Oh I know Candice. She's originally from Kenya, but currently lives on the island of Sugaundesse, right on the coast of Garlglinon. She works at the local Wendy's, enjoys fitness as well tapes and CDs, specifically those by the band imagine dragons. Unfortunately she's in the hospital right now due to getting a nasty case of ligma from smoking too much mind goblin after her friend Joe pressured her. But none of that's important. What's really important is that she's finally... Getting... Updog
The r/atheism user woke up groggy next to his 6 pack of empty Mountain Dew cans. He lifted his 400 pound frame off his bed wondering how many women he’d be able to harass on Xbox Live today when just then he remembered: today was the day. Today was the day he would finally get a chance to debate Christian sheep and slay their god in heaven. Excitedly, he got on his disability scooter and then into his 2007 Toyota Corolla. He drove to the hospital, scoffing every time he saw a crucifix bumper sticker and made sure to situate his fedora before he got out, parking in between two disability slots. When he entered, he got his camera ready, and going up to the third floor he thought “Reddit, the last enlightened place on Earth, will finally give me the attention I deserve and recognize me for my intelligence.” He entered into the room where his grandmother was lying and drawing her last breaths. A priest was standing next to her along with her children and grandchildren, anointing her and hearing her last confessions. “This is it,” he thought, “this is where I own those religiotards and achieve victory for atheism.” He boldly walked right next to his grandmother’s side and just as the priest said “may God bless your soul,” he bravely rebutted with “but there is no god to meet you in heaven. None of it is real. Your sky daddy won’t save you this time.” His grandmother looked on him in shock, opening her mouth. But then she slouched and a long beep was heard and her mouth remained wide open. “Yet another victory for atheism,” he said, looking at his family members who were stricken with faces of horror. “I’m sure they’ve finally realized their God is dead.” He opened Reddit, excited by the prospect of the karma he was going to get by posting the video he took on r/atheism.
HEY👋 YOU👋 ARE YOU UPSET😤😭💔 YOU DIDN'T GET ANY DICK🍆 VAG🌮✌️ OR ASS🍑 THIS VALENTINE’S DAY💘💘 WELL👏 YOU👏 ARE👏 IN👏 LUCK👏 TODAY📆 IS THE IDES OF FEBRUARY 👉😏👉 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS 🙌😨‼️ IT IS LUPERCALIA🎊 THE ROMAN FESTIVAL🎉🎉 THE CHURCH⛪️✝️ PEGGED🍆🍆 TO THE LEGEND OF ST VALENTINE 🙅♂️😇 WHY GOD GOTTA BE A COCKBLOCK❓❌🍆❌ EVER WONDER🤔 WHERE THE “FEBRUA”😩 IN FEBRUARY😫 COMES🤤🍾💦💦💦 FROM⁉️ TAKE OUT YOUR STYLUS✏️ AND TABULA RASA🗒 AND GET READY TO TAKE SOME NOTES📝 CUZ THIS SHIT💩💩 IS ABOUT TO GET EDUCATIONAL🤓🤓 JUST HOW HARDCORE💯💯💯 WAS THIS ANCIENT PAGAN HOLIDAY¿¿🏺🔮HERE’S A HINT: NAKED ROMANS 🔞🔞🔞 TOGA❗️ TOGA❗️ TOGA❗️ NAMED AFTER THE LUPERCAL, THE CAVE🕳 WHERE THE TWIN FOUNDERS OF ROME🏛 ROMULUS ET REMUS👬 WERE SUCKLED🤗🤗 BY THE SHE-WOLF🐺 MMM DAT MILKY MILKY MILK🍼🍼 INSIDE THE CAVE THE RITUAL👹🕯 WOULD BEGIN WITH TWO NAKED🤫 LUPERCI PRIESTS SACRIFICING ☠️👻 A GOAT🐐 AS A REPRESENTATION OF SEXUALITY👅🍒 AND A DOG🐕 RIP CERBERUS🦴 THE TWO PRIESTS WOULD USE THE CEREMONIAL DAGGER🔪 TO SMEAR BLOOD🩸 ON EACH OTHER’S FOREHEAD🤦♂️ AND WIPE IT AWAY👋 WITH MILK-SOAKED WOOL🥛🐑 WHILE LAUGHING😆😅 AFTER EATING THE SACRIFICIAL GOAT🍽🥢 THE PRIESTS WOULD CUT THE HIDE INTO STRIPS✂️ AND FASHION SOME INTO THONGS 🩲👙🔛 THE PRIESTS WOULD THEN RUN🏃🏻♂️🏃🏻♂️ AROUND THE CITY👀🙈🍆🍆🍆 USING THE REMAINING BLOODY GOAT STRIPS😳🙄 AS INSTRUMENTS💉 OF PURIFICATION, OR “FEBRUA”😱🤯😵 WOMEN WOULD WELCOME THE LASHES📿📿 AS A BLESSING OF FERTILITY🙌🙏 SPANK ME, DADDY 👨🏻👋😝 MAYBE THIS ALL SOUNDS WILD AND CRAZY🤪 BUT HEY🗣🗣 WHEN IN ROME😏😏 IT’S TRADITION😈😈 SO THAT MAKES IT OKAY👌👈☔️ #LEGALIZECHRISTIANITY‼️ SEND📲 THIS TO 🔟 rHOEmans👯♀️ AND YOU’LL BE A VESTAL VIRGIN😙 💅 GET 0️⃣ BACK AND YOU’RE A BARREN BITCH 😣 OR A FALLOW FUCKBOI😖 GET 🔟 BACK AND YOU’RE A BOUNTIFUL BABE💃 GET 2️⃣5️⃣ BACK AND YOU’RE THE FLAMEN DIALIS 🔥 JUPITER’S HIGH🌬🚬 PRIEST😽🪐 GET 5️⃣0️⃣ BACK AND YOU’RE PONTIFEX maXXXimus 🤩🛐 GET 💯 BACK AND YOU’RE A CERTIFIED NYMPHO 🤤🎟🎢🎆 PAX ROMANA MEANS SEX FOR WORLD PEACE🌍✌️🌿
