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I am sick of Jett

    Parody of the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Jett from Valorant due to her popularity.

    I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Jett. I try to play Reyna, my Jett deals more damage. I try to play Pheonix, my Jett deals more damage. I try to play Neon, my Jett has better movement. I want to play Yoru, my team tells me to play Jett. Riot tried to nerf her, but she is still meta. I want to play a normal match, I get sniped by an enemy Jett. She grabs me by the throat. I instalock her. I grind for her. I buy her a Vandal. She isn't satisfied. I buy an Operator. "I need more skins", she tells me. "Buy me Kunai and Operator skins." She grabs all ult orbs and force me to snipe long. "You just need better aim. I can deal more damage with cooler skins." I can't buy skins. I don't have enough Valorant Points. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs her Kunai. She says "Get out of my way!" There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing but pure 100% accuracy even when moving. What a cruel world 

    EVERYTHING IS LITERALLY CHEATING

      Wearing armor, casting magic, power stancing heavy weapons, using moonveil, using rivers of blood, using bleed weapons, using frost weapons, using any status ailment, using consumeables, leveling up, upgrading weapons, upgrading flasks, drinking flasks IS LITERALLY CHEATING and if you used any of them in your playthrough you should travel to japan and commit suduko in front of Micheal Zakis-san-sama-senpai-kuns front door 

      Guys can you please not spam the chat

        Guys can you please not spam the chat. My mom bought me this new laptop and it gets really hot when the chat is being spamed. Now my leg is starting to hurt because it is getting so hot. Please, if you don’t want me to get burned, then dont spam the chat.

        kill yourself you fatass 3xl beluga whale bitch

          From a Taylor Swift fan response towards a Swifty hater on Twitter.

          kill yourself you fatass 3xl beluga whale bitch, you oversized cunt whore. Your mom needs to shove a tampon up her bloody vag and leave it in there for a week so she can get toxic shock syndrome and die, worthless bitch, we know her loose ass vag needs the extra heavy and thick tampons anyways be the heavy flow bloody pig got her pussy swollen by birthing your fat head ass. You need to go get swept away by the tide and drown to death or get mauled by piranhas. You disgusting revolting foul vile faced cunt. You look like if Matt smith was mixed with a leprechaun. You need to shove a rod up your dirty stinky poop stained asshole and have it regurgitate out your throat and rip all your organs inside out then you need to be flayed alive. I hope you get bussy lice from that dildo we know you shove up your hole every night fugly twink. Or better yet, let's send you to Dubai to stone you for being a fuggot. You need to be exterminated from society. Make a voodoo doll of yourself and cross stitch it so you can die painfully. We would get more value decomposing you back into our soil than let you waste our air. I hope some tribe people use you for a sacrificial ritual and eat your heart alive and then decapitate your head and mount it on a spike on your loose vag whOre sivt mom's front porch so see can die of grief and burn in hell with her pedo son. I hope maggots eat your dick and balls and then they tear plant eggs inside you which hatch and eat your intestines alive. I hope a bear shows up to your house and claws you to death, cunt. You smell like wet ear wax and pennies so clean yourself with bleach you foul scented white twink 

          Kitboga MMA

            From a Kitboga stream where the scammer he’s talking with reveals that he does MMA stuff.

            BonziPls Definitely wont hurt you, dawg 🀣🀜🐢 You're a friend 😘😍 I go to gym πŸ‹οΈβ™€οΈπŸ€Έβ™‚οΈ and I do this MMA stuff 🀼πŸ₯‹ so I'll show you some skills πŸ€Ήβ™€οΈπŸ‘€ some bare-hand knuckle stuff πŸ‘ŠπŸ˜£βœŠ you aint no gangsta but πŸŒ†πŸ˜ŽπŸͺ’ you know, still you are a friend πŸ₯°πŸ€— BonziPls