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Response to “tickling my Willy”

    Tickling my willy copypasta
    Source
    Who the fuck is "tickling their willy" anyway? You're telling me you got like a comical-ass feather duster grazing the tip of your bellend, laying in bed kicking ur feet around and giggling like a schoolgirl, and that brings you to orgasm?

Ive got to obliterate my cock and balls when I jack off. There's enough lotion involved to turn the California Raisins back into grapes. I'm generating enough kinetic energy what with the violent back-n-forth of my left hand along the shaft of my dick to power a Ford F-150. The whole thing takes twenty minutes at least.

My nerve endings are frayed beyond repair. Neurological surgeons and micro-electricians alike have wept bitter tears of defeat trying to piece together the sensory receptors around my scorched Earth of a penis. How the fuck are you tickling yourself in 2024 the year of our Lord?

    Some Wagyu is so marbled, it’s like you’re looking at a cow made entirely out of butter

      Wagyu copypasta
      Source
      Some Wagyu is so marbled, it’s like you’re looking at a cow made entirely out of butter—Margarine Moos, if you will. These aren’t just your average cows; these are the Gummy Bear Cows, jiggling and slipping around the butchery like they’re made of pure jelly. You can practically see them wobbling on their squishy legs, just waiting for their gelatinous, melt-in-your-mouth harvest. Forget beef, you’re getting a bovine gelatin masterpiece. Squishy, jiggly, and ready to slide straight onto your plate

      PSA: People who still drink Starbucks in NYC are the worst

        PSA: People who still drink Starbucks in NYC are the worst
        byu/PsychologicalLack698 incirclejerknyc
        As a born and raised New Yorker, I don’t understand how anyone in NYC, the coffee capital of the world, still chooses Starbucks when we’re literally surrounded by the best independent coffee shops in the universe. Are you fucking kidding me bro?! There’s literally hand-poured, single-origin beans roasted by someone’s uncle in the back of a Brooklyn warehouse, and you’re gonna opt for a soulless corporate chain? How basic can you get?

Do you even care about supporting small businesses? Or do you just enjoy being a cog in the capitalist machine, getting your watered-down PSL with three pumps of sugar while pretending to live a “New York life”? And don’t get me started on the lack of creativity. “Oh, look at me, I’m holding a Starbucks cup, I’m soooo New York.” No, you’re not. You’re just lazy.

If you’re paying $6 for a cup of coffee, at least give it to the places where the baristas know your order AND your name. Seriously, go to any corner in Bushwick, the coffee shops have actual culture. Meanwhile, Starbucks’ “baristas” are misspelling your name on purpose.

EDIT: First time posting on circle jerk ny & I’m so proud of myself cause I really got a bunch of you thinking I’m dead serious. Using this as evidence for my claim that media literacy should be a required course before students graduate cause some of yall are dumb as hell lmaooo.

        Is That a JoJo Reference?

          iS tHAt a JoJo rEFerEncE?
          Every JoJo copypasta

          This is the original “IS THAT A MFING X REFERENCE???” which is about JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure (JJBA) part 4.

          ‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 JOJO IS THE BEST FUCKING ANIME 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 JOSUKE IS SO BADASSSSS 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎👊👊👊👊👊 ORAORAORAORAORALORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 😩😩😩😩 MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Oh you’re approaching me❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓But it was me, Dio‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
          ‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE‼️⁉️‼️⁉️⁉️⁉️‼️😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 JOJO IS THE BEST FUCKING ANIME🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯 JOSUKE IS SO BADASSSSS😎😎😎😎 ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA🫵🫵🫵🫵 MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA🤬🤬😡🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡 WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YO ANGELO 🗿YO ANGELO 🗿YO ANGELO 🗿YO ANGELO 🗿YO ANGELO 🗿 YARE YARE DAZE YARE YARE DAZE YARE YARE DAZE 🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙 NIGERUNDAYOOOOO 🏃🏃NIGERUNDAYO🏃 NIGERUNDAYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO🏃🏃🏃NIGERUNDAYOOOOO 🏃🏃DORARARARARARARARARARARA🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢SHIZAAAAA✝️🪨🪨SHIZAAAAAAAAAAAA✝️✝️🪨🪨🪨🪨 KONO GIORNO GIOVANNA YUME GA ARU☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️MADE IN HEAVEN💿💿💿🌫️🌫️🌫️MADE IN HEAVEN💿💿💿🌫️🌫️🌫️BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN🪕🪕🪕BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN🪕🪕ZA WARUDO⛔⛔🕒🕒ZA WARUDO⛔⛔⛔✋✋✋ARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARI ARRIVEDERCI😎😎👋👋👋VOLAVOLAVOLAVOLAVOLAVOLAVOLAVOLA VOLARE VIA🌫️🌫️🛩️🛩️🛩️MY NAME IS KIRA YOSHIKAGE AND I LIVE IN THE NORTHEAST SECTION OF MORIOH🌇🌇🌇STAR PLATINUM⭐🌟😫😫😫🤯🤯

          This is a lighthouse. Your call.

            The lighthouse aka I'm a lighthouse copypasta

            The lighthouse joke/copypasta is a popular story between a self-entitled U.S. Navy aircraft carrier and a lighthouse. It has been proven to be fake by the Navy themselves and its a popular joke or tale dating all the way back to 1930s.

            ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision."

Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision."

Americans: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."

Canadians: "No, I say again, you divert YOUR course."

Americans: "THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP."

Canadians: "This is a lighthouse. Your call."

            Porra infinita

              Its the Brazilian version of ‘Infinite Cum‘ copypasta.

              Porra infinita. Você se senta no vaso sanitário para se masturbar, mas começa a gozar incontrolavelmente. Depois de dez jorradas você começa a se preocupar. Sua mão está pegajosa e cheira a sêmen. Você enfia seu pau desesperadamente em um pedaço de papel higiênico, mas isso só faz suas bolas doerem. O esperma acelera. Já se passaram três minutos. Você não para de gozar. O chão do banheiro está coberto por uma fina camada de fluido de bebês. Você tenta gozar no ralo do chuveiro, mas ele enche muito rápido. Você tenta a privada. O esperma é muito grosso para dar descarga. Você tranca a porta do banheiro para evitar que o esperma escape. O ar fica quente e úmido com o esperma. O esperma acelera. Você escorrega e cai em seu próprio esperma. O esperma agora tem quinze centímetros de profundidade, quase tão longo quanto sua mangueira de sêmen ainda ereta. Esparramado de costas, você começa a gozar no teto. Gosmas do fluido branco pegajoso começam a cair como gotas de chuva, proporcionando uma gozada facial com seu próprio esperma. O esperma acelera. Você luta para ficar de pé enquanto a força do esperma começa a impulsioná-lo para trás, como se você estivesse num escorregador com o tema bukkake. Ainda de joelhos, o esperma agora está na altura do queixo. Para evitar afogamento você abre a porta do banheiro. O dilúvio de suco humano lembra a Grande Inundação de Melaço de 1919, só que com esperma em vez de melaço. O esperma acelera. Duas horas se passaram. Seus filhos e sua esposa gritam de terror enquanto seus corpos são engolfados pela lama branca como a neve. Seu filho mais novo afunda, com bolhas viscosas e gritos abafados saindo da gosma. Você implora a Deus para acabar com seu sofrimento. O esperma acelera. Você aperta seu pau para parar o esperma. Ele começa a vazar pelo seu cu.