Our Great Leader, Ryo Yamada
Since time immemorial, outstanding individuals have emerged from the oceans of mediocrity that make up the vast majority of humanity. Great thinkers destined to change their respective eras, launching the world into a new epoch. Ryo Yamada is the undeniable peak of what an outstanding individual is- she is the peak of what humanity can ever possibly achieve, the apex of human evolution and society.
The Epitome of Human Civilization
If enlightenment is theoretically achievable, then Ryo Yamada is the sole example of enlightenment. There has never been a greater mind in the millennia of human civilization- from the great minds of Socrates, Confucius, Hegel- Ryo remains to be the apex of human development. It is the duty of every man and woman to dedicate their lives to the pursuit of what Ryo Yamada stands for- the progression of humanity into a greater version of ourselves.
A Gaze that may appear innocuous to the mediocre eye, but hides a universe of enlightenment
Ryo Yamada is utter perfection in every sense of the word- even beyond. Human language cannot even begin to describe the earth-shattering qualities that she possesses. A fashion sense that makes ordinary humans appear as nothing more than bland specks of dirt. Intelligence that renders the complex processes behind a super-computer to resemble nothing more than a mere abacus. Humility that makes the martyrs of history seem like naïve children.
A Master of All Human Realms
Compared to Ryo, we are all but measly insects that exist to eat the feces of superior beings, naïve and ignorant creatures that wander the Earth without a sense of understanding of the grandiose knowledge that the universe offers.
Ryo Yamada is the peak of human evolution, and we can only prostrate ourselves to her superiority. She will not be merciful on our souls, and we must only accept her divine judgement.
One Must Fear and Respect Her Divine Eye and Mind
If she commands us to lick her boots, we shall slurp every particle of filth and bacteria that dares to contaminate the paragon of humanity’s shoes. It shall be so pristine, that it will reflect the face of inferiority.
If she commands us to donate money, then we shall empty our coffers for her. By her impulse and will, we shall learn what true humility is.
Embrace your Humility and Accept your Inferiority
Those who refuse the ever-existent superiority of Ryo Yamada will only be dooming themselves to a life of trifle purpose. Ryo Yamada is not a god- she is beyond what ordinary humans can even conceptualize as a deity.
Repent now, and see Ryo Yamada as the true exemplar of the sublime, lest you fade into the trenches of human society, destined to be forgotten.
Bocchi is literally me. No other character can come close to relating to me like her. There is no way you can convince me that I’m not Bocchi. Bocchi could not possibly be any more me. It’s me, and nobody can convince me otherwise. If anyone approached me about this not possibly being me, I immediately shut them down with overwhelming evidence that Bocchi was me. Bocchi is absolutely me; it is indisputable. Why anyone would try to argue that Bocchi is not me is beyond me. If you held two pictures of me and Bocchi side by side, you’d see no difference. I can safely look at Bocchi every day and say, “Yup, she’s me.” I can practically see Bocchi whenever I look at myself in the mirror. I go outside, and people stop me from commenting on how similar I look and act as Bocchi is. I chuckle softly as I’m assured every day Bocchi is me in every way. I can smile each time I get out of bed each morning, knowing that I’ve found my identity with Bocchi and I know my place in this world. It’s amusing how similar she is to me; it’s almost like identical twins. When I first saw Bocchi, I had an existential crisis. What it Bocchi was the real me and I was the fictional being? What if she actually became aware of my existence? Did she have the ability to become self-aware?
Bocchi and I are one and the same
Bocchi and I are one and the same. No other, out of all heroes, fiends, fools, queens, living and undead, I only find myself relating to Bocchi. Many have tried, many will try, and yet many have failed, and many will fail to stir my mind and dissuade me into considering I am not Bocchi. In all but name, Bocchi is my equal in every aspect, and she is incapable of being anything more like me-- and I incapable of being more like she. Bocchi is I, and none can prove anything but that.
Inconceivable notion that I am not Bocchi
Were one to advance towards me and suggest the inconceivable notion that I am not Bocchi, with utmost haste, their claims would be silenced once they gaze upon the overwhelming pool of truth of Bocchi and I being the same, for 'tis undisputable; Bocchi is certainly I, I who cannot comprehend why one would waste breath and energy to claim that Bocchi is seperate from me.
Doth thou compare a depiction of Bocchi
Doth thou compare a depiction of Bocchi and a depiction of myself, there would be not a single discrepancy. With an undying certainty, I am able to look at Bocchi at any time, and with no hesitation, speaketh "Verily, she is me". When mine eyes behold mine reflection, Bocchi greets me with the same stare.
Whenst I venture forth
Whenst I venture forth, brigands prevent me from remarking on how Bocchi and I breathe the same air and tread the same grass. If I do not guffaw loudly, I chuckle softly as it is assured daily that Bocchi is I, in every imaginable way. I awaken each morn with a grin, content in knowing who I am, and who Bocchi is, and that she and I have found mine place on this pitiful earth.
Upon the first time mine eyes laid upon Bocchi the Rock
It is entertainingly curious how she is to I how I am to her, as though we were babes from the same womb. Upon the first time mine eyes laid upon Bocchi the Rock, mine mind itself was Rocked by the Bocchi to its core. Lo, I felt as though-- nay, I thought as though-- nay, I knew-- Bocchi was the true I, and I was merely a work of fiction.
I ponder to myself on what would occur
I ponder to myself on what would occur were she aware of mine being. Mayhaps she has the ability to know her own existence, not of that as a work of fiction, but as a work of fiction knowing she is a work of fiction?
I gotta share this weird thing that happened in class today. I had this hilarious idea to play the Soviet Union anthem at full volume during our history class. But guess what? No one even cracked a smile. It was like a ghost town in there.
I truely don't get it. Personally I thought the timing was genius because we were covering the Cold War and stuff. But now I'm left wondering what went wrong and why nobody thought it was funny.
I understand that comedy is subjective and not everyone is into this dark/edgy type of humor but it was honestly mind-boggling to see how nobody seemed to understand the punchline.
[Spoken]
Hey
It's been a while since you saw my face
I haven't been doing so great
So I took a little break
A lot of people are saying some things about me that aren't quite true
Doesn't matter if it's true, though
Just as long as it's entertaining to you, right?
You guys having fun?
[Chorus]
All aboard the toxic gossip train
Chugging down the tracks of misinformation
The toxic gossip train
You got a one-way ticket to manipulation station
Toxic gossip train
Tie me to the tracks and harass me for my past
Those rumors look like facts if you don't mind the gaps
I won't survive in the crash, but hey
At least you're havin' fun
[Spoken]
Uh, hi, everyone
I've been wanting to come online and talk to you about a few things
Um, even though my team has strongly advised me to not say what I want to say
I recently realized that they never said that I couldn't sing what I wanna say, so
Here I am, and, um, today I only wanna talk about the facts
So, I hope that you'll be willing to listen
Here we go
Many years ago, I used to message my fans
Uh, but not in a creepy way like a lot of you are trying to suggest
It was more of a loser kind of way
Where I was just trying to be besties with everybody
It was kinda like, uh, when you go to like a family gathering, you know?
And there's a weird aunt there who keeps coming up to you and going like "Hey, girl, what's the tea!"
And you're like "Ehhh"
Um, that was me, but in group chats with my fans, it was weird
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[Verse 1]
I've been sharing my life online for over 15 years
I've poured my heart out to you and because of that I feel
Like I'm talking to my friends, but, in the beginning of my career
I didn't really understand that maybe there should be some boundaries there
There were times in the DMs when I would overshare
Details of my life, which was really weird of me
I haven't done that for years, you see
Because I changed my behavior, and I took accountability
[Spoken]
But that's not very interesting, is it?
[Chorus]
So let's go on the toxic gossip train
The locomotive's fueled with hateful accusations
The toxic gossip train
Steamroll over someone's reputation
Toxic gossip train
Hop on board, but close your eyes, otherwise you'll realize
That the train is made of lies and that person you despise
Maybe didn't deserve to die
But hey, at least you're havin' fun
[Spoken]
In all seriousness, I do think it's really important to hold people accountable for their mistakes
Um, y'know, we should hope that everyone can learn from their mistakes
And grow, and change their behavior, and be a better person
This is something that I've always tried to do when I make mistakes
And is something that I will continue to try t- what?
Oh, you don't care? Oh, okay
[Verse 2]
I thought you wanted me to take accountability
But that's not the point of your mob mentality, is it? No
Your goal is to ruin the life of the person you despise
While you dramatize your lies and monetize their demise
[Spoken]
Yeah, um, I feel like I can already hear the comments on this video
"She's gaslighting, manipulating!"
"Ugh, she's a narcissist and a rat!"
"I would never make a mistake like that."
[Verse 3]
Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize
That all of you are perfect, so please, criticize me
Bring out the daggers made from your perfect past
And stab me repeatedly in my bony little back
I'm sure you're disappointed in my shitty little song
I know that you wanted me to say that I was 100% in the wrong
Well, I'm sorry, I'm not gonna take that route
Of admitting to lies and rumors that you made up for clout
[Verse 4]
"Hey everybody, I found someone new to harass
She did some things that I do not like, in her past
So everybody, gather 'round, 'cause we're about to attack"
But not based on facts, oh no
Your loaded lethal weapon is your fingers on the keys
You don't need any armor when you can hide behind a screen
So, shoot me down, quick, with a click, and bam
My reputation's deceased
[Spoken]
Uh, I also wanted to take a minute to talk about that girl, Miranda Sings
You know the one, yeah her
Uh, she's PG-13, it says that on my website
[Verse 5]
And it's always been that way
And that's why you won't find my videos on the YouTube Kids app
Anyway, um, I didn't realize it was my responsibility
To decide what was appropriate for every kid to see
I've always relied on parents to decide if they're comfortable
With their families watching my YouTube videos or coming to my live shows
Now, have I made some jokes in poor taste? Yes
Have I made lots of dumb mistakes? Yes
Am I sad that there's some fans that feel betrayed? Yes
But was my intention to manipulate? No
[Spoken]
It doesn't really matter what my intention was
'Cause it seems as though everyone's already decided on that
Let me tell you, it's not very fun to have millions of people all over the world
Call you the most vile, horrendous, disgusting, life-ruining words
That a person can be called, in my opinion
Um, it doesn't matter that these things aren't true
Uh, everyone just believes that you are the type of person who manipulates and abuses children
So, I just wanted to say that, um
The only thing that I've ever groomed is my two Persian cats
I'm not a groomer, I'm just a loser
[Verse 6]
Who didn't understand I shouldn't respond to fans
And I'm not a predator even though a lot of you think so
Because 5 years ago, I made a fart joke
So, even though I know this video won't change anyone's mind about me
I still felt it was important to come on here and defend myself a little
And take accountability
And I also wanted to say that
To anyone out there who has ever supported me in any capacity
[Spoken]
I really, really appreciate you, thank you
For what it's worth, I never had any bad intentions
But I do feel like shit
[Chorus]
The toxic gossip train
Chugging down the tracks of misinformation
Toxic gossip train
You got a one way ticket to manipulation station
Toxic gossip train
You tied me to the tracks and harassed me for my past
Rumors look like facts when you don't mind the gaps
I won't survive in the crash, but hey
Hope you had some fun
[Spoken]
Actually, y'know, I feel like maybe I should let you guys know something, um
Seems like, maybe you're confused about something? I don't know
Let me try to help, um
[Outro]
Sometimes people make a mistake and it doesn't make them a horrible person, whoa
Sometimes people can make a mistake and they're still a good person
Crazy, I know
Sometimes people can make a mistake and you don't have to take that mistake, oh no
And twist it up, and grind it, and add some lies to it, and pulverize it
And stab it with knives, and ruin a life, and, oh no
Sometimes people can make a mistake, it doesn't mean you gotta send them hate, oh no
Sometimes people can make a mistake and you can kindly let them know, and help them to grow
Sometimes people make mistakes, simply because they made a mistake?
And that mistake doesn't make them a terrible human
It just makes them a human
[Spoken]
But what do I know?
Fuck me, right?