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Proclamation of Ryo Yamada

    Our Great Leader, Ryo Yamada
    
    Since time immemorial, outstanding individuals have emerged from the oceans of mediocrity that make up the vast majority of humanity. Great thinkers destined to change their respective eras, launching the world into a new epoch. Ryo Yamada is the undeniable peak of what an outstanding individual is- she is the peak of what humanity can ever possibly achieve, the apex of human evolution and society.
    
    The Epitome of Human Civilization
    
    If enlightenment is theoretically achievable, then Ryo Yamada is the sole example of enlightenment. There has never been a greater mind in the millennia of human civilization- from the great minds of Socrates, Confucius, Hegel- Ryo remains to be the apex of human development. It is the duty of every man and woman to dedicate their lives to the pursuit of what Ryo Yamada stands for- the progression of humanity into a greater version of ourselves.
    
    A Gaze that may appear innocuous to the mediocre eye, but hides a universe of enlightenment
    
    Ryo Yamada is utter perfection in every sense of the word- even beyond. Human language cannot even begin to describe the earth-shattering qualities that she possesses. A fashion sense that makes ordinary humans appear as nothing more than bland specks of dirt. Intelligence that renders the complex processes behind a super-computer to resemble nothing more than a mere abacus. Humility that makes the martyrs of history seem like naïve children.
    
    A Master of All Human Realms
    
    Compared to Ryo, we are all but measly insects that exist to eat the feces of superior beings, naïve and ignorant creatures that wander the Earth without a sense of understanding of the grandiose knowledge that the universe offers.
    
    Ryo Yamada is the peak of human evolution, and we can only prostrate ourselves to her superiority. She will not be merciful on our souls, and we must only accept her divine judgement.
    
    One Must Fear and Respect Her Divine Eye and Mind
    
    If she commands us to lick her boots, we shall slurp every particle of filth and bacteria that dares to contaminate the paragon of humanity’s shoes. It shall be so pristine, that it will reflect the face of inferiority.
    
    If she commands us to donate money, then we shall empty our coffers for her. By her impulse and will, we shall learn what true humility is.
    
    Embrace your Humility and Accept your Inferiority
    
    Those who refuse the ever-existent superiority of Ryo Yamada will only be dooming themselves to a life of trifle purpose. Ryo Yamada is not a god- she is beyond what ordinary humans can even conceptualize as a deity.
    
    Repent now, and see Ryo Yamada as the true exemplar of the sublime, lest you fade into the trenches of human society, destined to be forgotten.

    Bocchi is literally me.

      Bocchi is literally me

      Bocchi is literally me. No other character can come close to relating to me like her. There is no way you can convince me that I’m not Bocchi. Bocchi could not possibly be any more me. It’s me, and nobody can convince me otherwise. If anyone approached me about this not possibly being me, I immediately shut them down with overwhelming evidence that Bocchi was me. Bocchi is absolutely me; it is indisputable. Why anyone would try to argue that Bocchi is not me is beyond me. If you held two pictures of me and Bocchi side by side, you’d see no difference. I can safely look at Bocchi every day and say, “Yup, she’s me.” I can practically see Bocchi whenever I look at myself in the mirror. I go outside, and people stop me from commenting on how similar I look and act as Bocchi is. I chuckle softly as I’m assured every day Bocchi is me in every way. I can smile each time I get out of bed each morning, knowing that I’ve found my identity with Bocchi and I know my place in this world. It’s amusing how similar she is to me; it’s almost like identical twins. When I first saw Bocchi, I had an existential crisis. What it Bocchi was the real me and I was the fictional being? What if she actually became aware of my existence? Did she have the ability to become self-aware?

      Bocchi and I are one and the same

      Bocchi and I are one and the same. No other, out of all heroes, fiends, fools, queens, living and undead, I only find myself relating to Bocchi. Many have tried, many will try, and yet many have failed, and many will fail to stir my mind and dissuade me into considering I am not Bocchi. In all but name, Bocchi is my equal in every aspect, and she is incapable of being anything more like me-- and I incapable of being more like she. Bocchi is I, and none can prove anything but that.

      Inconceivable notion that I am not Bocchi

      Were one to advance towards me and suggest the inconceivable notion that I am not Bocchi, with utmost haste, their claims would be silenced once they gaze upon the overwhelming pool of truth of Bocchi and I being the same, for 'tis undisputable; Bocchi is certainly I, I who cannot comprehend why one would waste breath and energy to claim that Bocchi is seperate from me.

      Doth thou compare a depiction of Bocchi

      Doth thou compare a depiction of Bocchi and a depiction of myself, there would be not a single discrepancy. With an undying certainty, I am able to look at Bocchi at any time, and with no hesitation, speaketh "Verily, she is me". When mine eyes behold mine reflection, Bocchi greets me with the same stare.

      Whenst I venture forth

      Whenst I venture forth, brigands prevent me from remarking on how Bocchi and I breathe the same air and tread the same grass. If I do not guffaw loudly, I chuckle softly as it is assured daily that Bocchi is I, in every imaginable way. I awaken each morn with a grin, content in knowing who I am, and who Bocchi is, and that she and I have found mine place on this pitiful earth.

      Upon the first time mine eyes laid upon Bocchi the Rock

      It is entertainingly curious how she is to I how I am to her, as though we were babes from the same womb. Upon the first time mine eyes laid upon Bocchi the Rock, mine mind itself was Rocked by the Bocchi to its core. Lo, I felt as though-- nay, I thought as though-- nay, I knew-- Bocchi was the true I, and I was merely a work of fiction.

      I ponder to myself on what would occur

      I ponder to myself on what would occur were she aware of mine being. Mayhaps she has the ability to know her own existence, not of that as a work of fiction, but as a work of fiction knowing she is a work of fiction?

      Every Bocchi the Rock copypasta

      I played the Soviet Union anthem in class today and no one laughed

        I gotta share this weird thing that happened in class today. I had this hilarious idea to play the Soviet Union anthem at full volume during our history class. But guess what? No one even cracked a smile. It was like a ghost town in there.
        
        I truely don't get it. Personally I thought the timing was genius because we were covering the Cold War and stuff. But now I'm left wondering what went wrong and why nobody thought it was funny.
        
        I understand that comedy is subjective and not everyone is into this dark/edgy type of humor but it was honestly mind-boggling to see how nobody seemed to understand the punchline.

        ⊘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘥

          ⊘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘥
          ⊘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮e𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘥 and the account of this user is now under investigation  
          🚫 This message was deleted
          ⓘ This comment was deleted and the account of this user is under investigation for racism, hate crimes and domestic terrorism.
          ⓘ This comment was deleted

          Colleen Ballinger’s Apology Song

            [Spoken]
            Hey
            It's been a while since you saw my face
            I haven't been doing so great
            So I took a little break
            A lot of people are saying some things about me that aren't quite true
            Doesn't matter if it's true, though
            Just as long as it's entertaining to you, right?
            You guys having fun?
            [Chorus]
            All aboard the toxic gossip train
            Chugging down the tracks of misinformation
            The toxic gossip train
            You got a one-way ticket to manipulation station
            Toxic gossip train
            Tie me to the tracks and harass me for my past
            Those rumors look like facts if you don't mind the gaps
            I won't survive in the crash, but hey
            At least you're havin' fun
            [Spoken]
            Uh, hi, everyone
            I've been wanting to come online and talk to you about a few things
            Um, even though my team has strongly advised me to not say what I want to say
            I recently realized that they never said that I couldn't sing what I wanna say, so
            Here I am, and, um, today I only wanna talk about the facts
            So, I hope that you'll be willing to listen
            Here we go
            Many years ago, I used to message my fans
            Uh, but not in a creepy way like a lot of you are trying to suggest
            It was more of a loser kind of way
            Where I was just trying to be besties with everybody
            It was kinda like, uh, when you go to like a family gathering, you know?
            And there's a weird aunt there who keeps coming up to you and going like "Hey, girl, what's the tea!"
            And you're like "Ehhh"
            Um, that was me, but in group chats with my fans, it was weird
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            [Verse 1]
            I've been sharing my life online for over 15 years
            I've poured my heart out to you and because of that I feel
            Like I'm talking to my friends, but, in the beginning of my career
            I didn't really understand that maybe there should be some boundaries there
            There were times in the DMs when I would overshare
            Details of my life, which was really weird of me
            I haven't done that for years, you see
            Because I changed my behavior, and I took accountability
            [Spoken]
            But that's not very interesting, is it?
            [Chorus]
            So let's go on the toxic gossip train
            The locomotive's fueled with hateful accusations
            The toxic gossip train
            Steamroll over someone's reputation
            Toxic gossip train
            Hop on board, but close your eyes, otherwise you'll realize
            That the train is made of lies and that person you despise
            Maybe didn't deserve to die
            But hey, at least you're havin' fun
            [Spoken]
            In all seriousness, I do think it's really important to hold people accountable for their mistakes
            Um, y'know, we should hope that everyone can learn from their mistakes
            And grow, and change their behavior, and be a better person
            This is something that I've always tried to do when I make mistakes
            And is something that I will continue to try t- what?
            Oh, you don't care? Oh, okay
            [Verse 2]
            I thought you wanted me to take accountability
            But that's not the point of your mob mentality, is it? No
            Your goal is to ruin the life of the person you despise
            While you dramatize your lies and monetize their demise
            [Spoken]
            Yeah, um, I feel like I can already hear the comments on this video
            "She's gaslighting, manipulating!"
            "Ugh, she's a narcissist and a rat!"
            "I would never make a mistake like that."
            [Verse 3]
            Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize
            That all of you are perfect, so please, criticize me
            Bring out the daggers made from your perfect past
            And stab me repeatedly in my bony little back
            I'm sure you're disappointed in my shitty little song
            I know that you wanted me to say that I was 100% in the wrong
            Well, I'm sorry, I'm not gonna take that route
            Of admitting to lies and rumors that you made up for clout
            [Verse 4]
            "Hey everybody, I found someone new to harass
            She did some things that I do not like, in her past
            So everybody, gather 'round, 'cause we're about to attack"
            But not based on facts, oh no
            Your loaded lethal weapon is your fingers on the keys
            You don't need any armor when you can hide behind a screen
            So, shoot me down, quick, with a click, and bam
            My reputation's deceased
            [Spoken]
            Uh, I also wanted to take a minute to talk about that girl, Miranda Sings
            You know the one, yeah her
            Uh, she's PG-13, it says that on my website
            [Verse 5]
            And it's always been that way
            And that's why you won't find my videos on the YouTube Kids app
            Anyway, um, I didn't realize it was my responsibility
            To decide what was appropriate for every kid to see
            I've always relied on parents to decide if they're comfortable
            With their families watching my YouTube videos or coming to my live shows
            Now, have I made some jokes in poor taste? Yes
            Have I made lots of dumb mistakes? Yes
            Am I sad that there's some fans that feel betrayed? Yes
            But was my intention to manipulate? No
            [Spoken]
            It doesn't really matter what my intention was
            'Cause it seems as though everyone's already decided on that
            Let me tell you, it's not very fun to have millions of people all over the world
            Call you the most vile, horrendous, disgusting, life-ruining words
            That a person can be called, in my opinion
            Um, it doesn't matter that these things aren't true
            Uh, everyone just believes that you are the type of person who manipulates and abuses children
            So, I just wanted to say that, um
            The only thing that I've ever groomed is my two Persian cats
            I'm not a groomer, I'm just a loser
            [Verse 6]
            Who didn't understand I shouldn't respond to fans
            And I'm not a predator even though a lot of you think so
            Because 5 years ago, I made a fart joke
            So, even though I know this video won't change anyone's mind about me
            I still felt it was important to come on here and defend myself a little
            And take accountability
            And I also wanted to say that
            To anyone out there who has ever supported me in any capacity
            [Spoken]
            I really, really appreciate you, thank you
            For what it's worth, I never had any bad intentions
            But I do feel like shit
            [Chorus]
            The toxic gossip train
            Chugging down the tracks of misinformation
            Toxic gossip train
            You got a one way ticket to manipulation station
            Toxic gossip train
            You tied me to the tracks and harassed me for my past
            Rumors look like facts when you don't mind the gaps
            I won't survive in the crash, but hey
            Hope you had some fun
            [Spoken]
            Actually, y'know, I feel like maybe I should let you guys know something, um
            Seems like, maybe you're confused about something? I don't know
            Let me try to help, um
            [Outro]
            Sometimes people make a mistake and it doesn't make them a horrible person, whoa
            Sometimes people can make a mistake and they're still a good person
            Crazy, I know
            Sometimes people can make a mistake and you don't have to take that mistake, oh no
            And twist it up, and grind it, and add some lies to it, and pulverize it
            And stab it with knives, and ruin a life, and, oh no
            Sometimes people can make a mistake, it doesn't mean you gotta send them hate, oh no
            Sometimes people can make a mistake and you can kindly let them know, and help them to grow
            Sometimes people make mistakes, simply because they made a mistake?
            And that mistake doesn't make them a terrible human
            It just makes them a human
            [Spoken]
            But what do I know?
            Fuck me, right?

            Vergil quotes

              Every Vergil quotes in DMC
              "Foolishness, Dante...foolishness. Might controls everything...and without strength, you cannot protect anything...let alone yourself"
              "No one can have this, Dante. It's mine. It belongs to a Son of Sparda."
              "I was so excited too see you, I couldn't focus on preparations for the bash."
              "How many times have we fought?"
              “You will regret... being born useless and human. I will show you... your worst nightmares. I will give you... despair and death!”
              "I've come to retrieve my power."
              "I need more power!"
              "You are not worthy as my opponent"
              "The Flames of Revenge? Couldn't even melt a marshmallow."
              "Show me your motivation."
              "Let me be clear Dante. I will never pay."
              "I seem to recall you crying every time father raised his voice."
              "No one can have this Dante. It's mine. It belongs to a son of Sparda. Leave me and go, if you don't want to be trapped in the Demon World."
              “It’s past your bedtime”
              "All things end, Dante. Even us."
              "If our positions were switched, would our fates be different? Will you have my life, and you mine?"
              "Shchuuum"
              "If you want it, then you'll have to take it. But you already knew that."
              *plastic chair screeching sound effect*
              "Not very classy for someone's dying words."
              "Now I’m a little motivated."
              “That amulet give it to me”
              
              "No way you got your own”
              
              “I know but I want yours too"
              "My sincerest apology brother, I was so eager to see you, I couldn't concentrate on the preparations for the bash."