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I’m lying if I were to say it wouldn’t be hot if a girl were to magically able to grow a penis

    Traps are not gay
    Hah, I'm lying if I were to say it wouldn't be hot if a girl were to magically able to grow a penis and let me jerk her off then it disappears when she cums. I'm not gay but I feel that an erect penis is the best sign someone is aroused, how hot would it be to meet her or a girl you have a crush on and she blushes and pops a huge boner and has to cover it up with her purse and you can tell the pressure of holding it down with her purse is making her even more aroused.

    Steve Harvey be like

      Steve Harvey be like
      Steve Harvey: "We asked 100 people, what is the male reproductive organ?" Contestant: "The penis" SH: "A WUH... HUH??" audience erupts into laughter Steve Harvey grabs onto podium to support himself laughter gets even louder SH: O lordy... one man goes into cardiac arrest and many others begin vomiting profusely from laughing too hard SH: YOU PEOPLE NEED HELP the Earth shatters and Satan rises from the underworld to claim unworthy souls the universe begins rapidly closing in on itself SH: (putting on a weary voice) Survey says... the board shows 100 for "penis" Harvey is able to get off one more shocked look before existence as we know it comes to an end

      Ben Shapiro at Olive Garden

        Let's say that, hypothetically...
        Let’s say that, hypothetically, you really did have unlimited breadsticks. Now, since they are unlimited, that means that you will never run out. However, on Earth there is a limited supply of the materials required to make breadsticks. Thus, if I were to attempt to eat as many breadsticks as possible, I would not be able to as eventually you would sell out, am I correct? Now that we have established that there are infinite breadsticks but finite supplies to make them, would it not be reasonable to conclude that you are either breaking the laws of physics, or are lying to me? And since one cannot break the laws of physics, logically you must be lying to me. Facts don’t care about your feelings liberals, you have committed the crime of false advertising and must give me free food or I will inform the authorities.

        Who is Belle Delphine? 🙄🥱🤭🤔

          Belle Delphine my queen
          Who is Belle Delphine? 🙄🥱🤭🤔

In math: My Solution 😊🤩

In history: My Queen 😫👑

In art: My Canvas 🎨🎉

In science: My Oxygen 🍃😀

In geography: My World 🌍🤯

          I want to fuck the Minecraft Creeper and Die

            Creeper-chan 
            Commit suicide by banging the minecraft creeper so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the mine shaft I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of it online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Creeper-chan. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Creeper's tight TNT storage compartment. I want her to have my mutant Steve/creeper babies. Fuck, the fucking villagers caught me with their Iron Golem. I'd dressed it in grass blocks and went to fucking town. They've set up an embargo for my trading with them and I'm worried they're gonna take away my pickaxe. I might not ever get to see creepers again.

            Girls who do porn — but don’t do anal– are NOT “pornstars”

              motherfucker what
              If you do porn and have have vanilla sex on camera for money, you're just a regular chick whose sex videos are on the internet.

I'm so sorry that I hold the title of "pornstar" to a modicum of professionalism.

If I predict the weather for the next week and upload it to YouTube that doesn't make me a fuckin' meteorologist.

I had a girlfriend in 11th grade highschool that was a dirtier slut than some of these bitches calling themselves pornstars. "I don't do anal I just have done 250 videos for Brazzers because I look 16 years old" is lame af. Get some fucking self respect for yourself and step your games up.

And for fucks sake all you pretty bitches-- work on your head game. You're not exempt from getting better at sucking dick because you're pretty. Some Little Caprice looking girl is sucking 4" of a 16" horsecock and the dudes in the comments are like OMG BEST BJ IN HISTORYYYYYY. Motherfucker what.