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AITA for not turning on airplane mode on my 3ds, killing 400 people, and losing my pokemon savegame?

    Ok, first of all, I still have a 3ds, yes. I'm fucking old school. Get with it, faggos. Anyway, me and my nigg family were going on vacay, and I brought my 3ds for the ride. It was loaded with gay porn, and windypanda1 rule 34 hentai. I get on the plane, and I can't grab one stewardess's ass without getting punched in the face, so that sucks. I turned on my 3ds to sext with SMUT_ADDICT, when all of a sudden, I shit and cum all over the plane. The entire plane is fucking covered in my sticky seed and anime shit. Anyway, the plane crashed and the only pussy I could save was MrSoftServe's tight pink, and the stylus hole in the 3ds, so while my family, and the passengers were dead, I fucked that hole with my noodle weewee all fucking night. Turn on airplane mode dipshticks.

    I want to fuck another animated character from a video game🤐

      Holy fucking🤬shit. I want to bang💥the princess from the legend of Zelda so goddamn🤬 bad. I can't😓stand it anymore. Every time I play the BotW I get a 🥰massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking🤬sex with🤭her. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers😡and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Zelda’s tight ass🥵. I want her to have my mutant goddess babies😣.

Fuck,🤬my fucking mom caught me with my dick in a picture of Zelda’s😳ass. I cut a hole in my pillow and went to downtown😎plow town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours😬 and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Switch😔. I might not ever get to see Zelda again😣.

      Male Privilege

        Sometimes, when I want to poo, my cock become erect. This causes me to piss everywhere since my cock isn’t in the toilet bowl. When I try to put cock back into the toilet it touches the shit walls and shit water.

        What the frick did you just fricking say about my religion

          What the frick did you just fricking say about my religion, you small child of the devil? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Bible Study, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Non-Belivers, and I have over 300 confirmed conversions of Non-believers. I am trained in baptism and I'm the top pastor in the entire Christian Community. You are nothing to me but just another sinner. I will convert you the frick out with blessings the likes of which has never been seen before the eyes of our lord and savior, mark my fricking words. You think you can get away with saying that sinful material to me over the Internet? Think again, sinner. As we speak I am contacting my friends and fellow christians and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the flood, sinner. The flood that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call science. You're fricking done for, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I convert you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands and the bible of Jesus amen. Not only am I extensively trained in exorcism, but I have access to the entire arsenal of holy water and bibles from the pope himself and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your sins off the face of God's green earth, you devil child. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your sinful tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you atheist idiot. I will spill holy water all over you and you will drown in it. You're fricking blessed, kiddo.
          [wpedon id=813]

          How much whale cum is in the ocean?

            There is an estimated 1.35 billion cubic kilometers of water in the oceans. The average whale ejaculates 1500 liters of cum each load. The average whale breeds once every two years and lives between 40-100 years. Currently there are around 1.3 million whales. A whale on average breeds 13- 43 times in their life. Only 10% of the whales cum makes it into the partner so each time around 1350 liters gets into the ocean. With 1.3 million whales breeding on average 28 times and 1350 liters getting into the ocean that’s 50 billion liters of cum! 0,0038% of the ocean is whale cum, per cubic mete(1000 liters) there is 3 liters of cum. Enjoy your next trip to the beach :)

            My little brother fucking died

              3 .50 Cal AE at the back of his skull. Little shit fucking deserved it. I didn't feel shit when I pulled the trigger, but as soon as his dead body dropped on the floor, I was fucking ecstatic. Ever since he was three, he's been getting away with shit that I would have been kicked out of the house for, like drawing shitty doodles on my room's door or cut of the electricity for the entire house except his room. I always knew he was going to turn out a sociopathic, spoiled, little brat. Hell, he already was by the age of three. I would write this on my journal, but I want all of you to know that I did nothing wrong whenever you see the report of my brother's murder on Fox, CNN or whatever.

Years of being ignored by my parents in favor of that little shit has broken me mentally. Truth be told, I was terrified of him. Not only that, I was terrified of my own sanity. Everyone else seemed to think he was such an angel who 'pulled little pranks on people'. He would always defend his actions by refering to his age. "Im onwy twee", "Im onwy fow" "Im onwy fwife". Shit went on and on for years. I couldn't take it anymore.

Right now I'm fleeing the town of Plainview. I'm hiding in the forest, but I'll have to move soon before local law enforcement tracks me down. Maybe I'll take one of them down and boost his car. After that, I don't know where I'll go. I could go South to Texas, New Mexico or Tenessee. Canada and Mexico are off limits, borders are too risky, besides, I left my passport. Definately not staying anywhere near New England though. Only sad thing about this is I won't ever get to see my friend Rowley ever again. Eh, I didn't really like him anyway.

If you are reading this from hell, fuck you Manny.

-Greg Heffley