Based on the “Own a musket for home defense” copypasta but changed to the M1 Garand and M1911 pistol.
Own an M1 for home defense because it’s the greatest battle implement ever devised. Four Nazis break into my house. “What the fuck?” As I grab my M1 helmet and M1 rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he’s dead on the spot. Draw my M1911 on the second man, miss him entirely because its sights suck and nails the neighbor’s Edsel. I have to resort to the Ma Duece mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with AP, “Remember Malmedy!” The AP shreds two men in a single burst, the sound and shrapnel set off car alarms. I fix my bayonet and charge the last terrified kraut; he bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since I shot him afterwards with the M1911. Just as John Garand, John Moses Browning and George S. Patton intended.