Evolution of the “no lube, no protection, all night all day” copypasta.
Every way, all ways. Doggy style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, missionary, spooning, frontwards, backwards, upside down, 69, standing, lotus, bridge, 360 degrees, in the rain, in the snow, in the blazing heat of a thousand suns. No condoms, skin on skin. On the living room floor, the bedroom ceiling, the kitchen counter, the closet, the fridge, the front porch, the neighbor’s lawn, the public library, the moon. On the couch, in the car, in the street, in a moving train, on a rollercoaster, on the office desk, in the elevator, on the Ferris wheel, in a bouncy castle, on a pirate ship, under the bed, in the attic, on a tightrope, while skydiving, in the middle of a flash mob. I want her bouncing on it until she’s pregnant with my triplets, quadruplets, and quintuplets all at once. Until our future kids are sending us postcards from space and narrating our wild adventures on TikTok. Because why stop at Earth when you can aim for the stars and beyond? Let’s make headlines and history books, baby!