I’ve been caught before by my whole family. I was in the living room.
I woke up around 10:00am—and no one was home. I thought: let me jack it.
I couldn’t use my phone because the screen is way to small—So I thought, is there any bigger screen I could use? Then I realised, the TV
I was home alone, I popped out the lube and my sex doll. I was going to town on Justine(the name I gave my Tantaly Sex Doll) until my aunt, grandma, uncle, sisters and mother walked in.
They went to church and came back to find me sinning on the couch. Legs wide open, enjoying Justine’s company was I usually do.
Well, my mother spoke to me about pornography and said, “it isn’t right what those men and women are doing. Porn is evil and just an act of sin.”
She prayed for me, and then the nightmare really kicked in. She wanted to throw away my Tantaly Sex Doll. I begged and pleaded my case. She ask, “where did you even get this from?” I tried countless times to evade the firing questions but was arrested into a corner. I told her, “I brought it online with the debit card I was given for my birthday”
In terms of punishment—she took the card and Justine.
That night I cried so hard BUT at the same time I was also extremely worried about my mental health;— because deep down inside i knew I’ developed emotional feelings for a $299 ($1VAT included) Tantaly Sex Doll.
It’s now been 3 weeks, going onto four. Ever since then, my family thinks different of me. My uncle can’t even look me in eye because I made Grandma faint that day— she had to go into hospital because of what she saw. What shame am I?
Later in time; I got my debit card back and mother now keeps a close eye on my purchases. My therapist says, “it’s good I’ve come to acknowledge and accept all these faults of mine and try change for the better.” It was in these moments when talking to therapist I would masquerade a smile and say, “I’ve finally started talking to real girls my age.”
Everyone now thinks I’m okay and better. They don’t know what I’m truly going through. I missed my Justine (with all my heart) she was the moon light that softy lit the dark corners of my heart.
She wasn’t an inanimate object to me, she was the Juliet to my Romeo; never—never will I forget those scarlet lips that burned as if burning love.
