By u/AAAAAPAIN, its satire of a wallstreetbets post about someone going all in into gourd futures but changed into Xiranite production from Endfield.
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This update I invested 75000 xiranite (3months of xiranite and my entire life savings) into xiranite gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging event. After watching a video about Tang Tang and her monopoly on soup, I decided I'd try to do something similar with a vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's xiranite yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central WuLing and a warmer-than-average spring. Unfortunately, the blight caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on Monday morning, a new mail in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Valley IV, scheduled for Tomorrow, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 1 point per pound. I am ruined.