By u/plz_st0p_it, its a circlejerk copypasta for Brawl Stars about Edgar being banned.
It’s been 4 minutes since I last played Edgar.
When the ban first began, I was calm. Confident, even.
“This will be quick,” I said.
I was wrong.
I opened Brawl Stars. Assasins banned.
Closed Brawl Stars. Opened it again. Assasins banned.
Restarted my phone. Assasins banned.
Restarted my hope. Assasins still banned.
I’ve refreshed the Brawl Stars Reddit so many times my finger moves on its own now.
I know every mod by heart.
I recognize the users of people losing their sanity alongside me.
We are brothers in suffering.
Time no longer flows normally.
Minutes stretch like hours.
Hours feel like entire Mega Pig waits.
I stare at the assasins banned announcement as if it might change if I blink slowly enough.
It doesn’t.
It never does.
Edgar whispers to me in my dreams.
I practice bush ganks on invisible enemies.
I punch at nothing, hoping muscle memory doesn’t fade.
My skins sit abandoned in the vault.
My trophies wait.
They don’t know I’m trapped outside the game, locked away by a single sentence:
"ASSASINS BANNED! #RANDOMBS.”
I tried to pass the time.
I watched videos. Everyone else is stuck too.
I scrolled social media. All I see are memes about suffering.
I laughed at first.
Now they just feel too real.
I attempted real life activities.
None of them reward coins.
None of them give starr drops.
None of them push my trophies.
I walked outside. The sky looked low-resolution.
bots everywhere, yet no brawl arenas to win.
The world feels unfinished.
I returned to my screen.
Still banned.
My patience is gone.
My sanity is fading.
My loading screen knowledge has reached max rank.
If this continues, I fear I may forget the joy of trophy grinding.
I may forget the pain of bad drop RNG.
I may forget why I even started this journey.
Please, devs.
End this ban.
Let the ganks happen once more.
Let me dive.
Let me grind.
Let me suffer by choice, not by force.
It’s been 4 hours since I last played Edgar.
And I’m still here.