For real, it would be so silly if Kendrick got covered in slime. Just enveloped in icky goop inhibiting his every movement. I bet he’d chuckle to himself, wondering how he got himself into such a mess. I bet he’d get hot and take off his jacket. Besides, it’s covered in slime, so I bet it’d be uncomfortable to wear. It’d be really funny if more slime got poured on him after, double sliming him. I bet he’d get flustered about that, wondering how all this goop even got transported to the ceiling anyways. I bet he’d take off his undershirt, seeing as it’s so thin the slime would seep through it, making it uncomfortable. I bet his six pack would look so nice with the stage lights blowing off of it, like a perfectly chiseled statue. A true modern vitruvian man, shirtless and slightly slimy at the kids choice awards. I bet he’d get a little erect after this whole ordeal, after all, it was probably a hot lady that gave him his kids choice award, and the steamy goop covering him would naturally stir his thoughts. I bet he’d start pitching a tent in his pants, and I bet he’s wearing some real tight jeans. After all, something too baggy and his stunning form wouldn’t be as well presented to the millions of fans watching. I bet he’ll realize it’s too hard to hide his throbbing cock while it’s poking through his jeans, so he’ll take them off and tuck his penis into the waistband of his underwear. I bet the tip of his penis will poke out a little, and he’ll realize there are kids watching, so he’ll scoop a little slime from the ground and put it on the top of his penis to obscure it. Those kids won’t notice, but I will. I’ll see the slime and know how he feels, and what he’s thinking. I bet Kendrick will sit down at the after party at Dan Schneider’s house and think about how good that slime felt on him. I bet it’ll be engrained in his mind so much that he thinks about it every time he has sex for the rest of his life. I bet he’ll buy his own slime off Amazon to try and replicate the feeling, but will fail miserably every time. I bet that’ll send him into a deep depression, which will lead to him quitting music. After all, the only thing that brought him pleasure in life was the Nick slime, and without that he’s nothing. I bet he’ll be wandering around the streets of Los Angeles, sad and single, and see me. I bet we’ll hit it off immediately and become great friends. We both love the kids choice awards, and that common interest leads to a strong friendship, which naturally leads into a strong relationship. I bet Kendrick will get on one knee during our Venice trip to mark our 5th anniversary together. I bet we’ll get married and move to a farm in Washington, where will live out our shared dream of becoming wheat farmers. Sure, we’ll argue and bicker, and might almost fall out a couple of times, but I bet true love will prevail. I bet he’ll hold me as the cancer finally reaches my heart and I begin fading. But I bet that won’t matter, since I’ll have the love of my life wrapped around my arms, and I bet the last thing I’ll see will be him kissing me on the forehead, thanking me for the love, the joy, the memories, and the reason to keep going. I bet our love story will end bittersweet, as all good things do. But just like any great love story, it had to end eventually, and I bet we’ll both be infinitely grateful we got to write it together.