Based on the Xiangling copypasta from Genshin Impact.
I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Ruan Mei. I try to play Tingyun. My Ruan Mei provides more damage. I try to play pela. My Ruan Mei provides more damage. I try to play Bronya. My Ruan Mei provides more damage. I want to play Jingliu. Her best team has Ruan Mei. I want to play Kafka, Topaz. They both want Ruan Mei.
She grabs me by the throat. I babysit creations for her. I kill an emanator for her. I give her S5 memories of the past. She isn't satisfied. I pull Past self in mirror for her. "I don't need this effect if my ult will still take 4 turns" She tells me. "Give me any 5% err planar ornament set." She grabs my sustain and forces them to receive every point of damage from enemies. "You just need an err rope. I can do a 3 turn ult rotation without external energy sources."
“Pull e1” she says. I can't pull e1, I don't have enough Stellar jades. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs her Ruan. She says "Sound lingers." There is no hint of sadness in its eyes. Nothing but pure, 68% damage boost, 50% weakness break efficiency and 25% res pen. What a cruel world.