By u/MNUUUUU, its the Xiangling copypast but changed to Rose from PvZ Heroes.
I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Rose. I try to play Green Shadow. Rose is better. I try to play Solar Flare. Rose is better. I try to play Citron. Rose is better. I want to play ramp. The best ramp deck is with Rose. I want to play control, heal. Both are better with Rose.
She grabs me by the throat. I grind for her. I recycle for her. I give her Brainana. She isn't satisfied. I craft Aloesaurus. "I don't need this much heals" She tells me. "Give me more late game." She grabs Twin Sunflower and forces them to produce more sun. "You just need to funnel me more. I can win more with Sun Shroom"
I can't craft Sun Shroom, I don't have enough sparks. She grabs my account. No cards to recycle. "Guess this is the end." She grabs Dark Matter Dragonfruit. She says "Ha ha ha." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, unadulterated ramp. What a cruel world.