I was relaxing in my stronghold one night when suddenly 30-300 orcs burst into the door!

By u/ser_einhard19, its the ‘Own a musket for home defense’ copypasta but changed to Dungeon & Dragons (DnD).

I was relaxing in my stronghold one night when suddenly 30-300 orcs burst into the door! “What the Illusionist?” I shout as I grab my +1/+3 vs goblinoids longsword. Run the first one through, deal 1d8+3 damage, he’s dead on the spot. Throw a dagger at the next one, completely whiff because I don’t understand how THAC0 works and nail the neighbor’s hireling. I have to resort to the scroll of lightning bolt in a chest at the top of the stairs. FIRE! Blow a giant hole in the third one’s chest but I almost die cuz the stairs are only 10ft long and the spell rebounds. The last one charges and I have to grab my lance and use my dwarven “set spear” ability to deal with the him, but he didn’t check for traps and falls into a conveniently placed 20-foot-deep pit. He tries to wait for a random encounter for backup but it’s just fifteen completely ordinary donkeys so he bleeds out. Just as TSR intended.