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I use my cock for home defense.

    I use my cock for home defense, just like the founding fathers intended. 4 ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" I say a I grab my phone and lotion. Blow my load all over the first man. He's dead on the spot. I start schlackin it all over the second man, but miss entirely because my cock is smooth bore, and the stray load impregnates the neighbor's wife. I'm forced to rely on the overwatch hentai I have on a table at the top of the stairs. "Tally ho, lads". The incoming tsunami smothers both men in the flood, and the sheer force starts setting off car alarms. Affix a condom and penetrate the last man. He leaves before the police arrive because he needs to recover from the soreness. Just as the founding fathers intended.

    The original ‘Own a musket for home defense‘ copypasta