I like being degraded by my math teacher, and it’s getting worse.

I take AP geometry second period even though I nearly flunked last year. I'm currently a sophomore in high school.... nobody knows about this, except for my best friend Anuar. He sits next to me and every time I get the wrong answer, I feel a rush of lust course through my body. Anuar first noticed it when I got the answer wrong on fifth day of class. I still remember it like it was yesterday.....

Summer break is just around the corner and still have this feeling for my teacher. Anuar says that I should try and talk to him, but I can't muster the courage. The way he scolds & humiliates me in front of the whole class is exhilarating. There's something, so weird yet so good about having someone punish you for your mistakes.

I guess you could say I've been a "goodie-two-shoes" my whole life.... so something about this change of pace effects me. I haven't told my family about this, nor do I plan on it. My family has talked about hiring a tutor for me, after seeing my performance decline. Secretly, I know how to do all the problems, and that's why I'm barely passing.

Next year, I will be a junior and most likely have a new teacher for math, and I'm not sure how I'll adapt to this. In hopes of preparing myself for this, I've enrolled myself in summer school to test the waters.

Anyone have advice that's had a similar problem?