I hate the Dung Eater

I hate the Dung Eater beyond what can be considered healthy. I will go out of my way to torture him every single play through from now on

Big Boggart is my homie. I would die for prawnbro and will do anything to make sure he can happily cook up crab for the rest of his days. I had killed the Dung Eater right when I found him my first play through because he was acting sketchy as fuck and I thought that if I didn’t it would be like the darkbeast in disguise from Bloodborne where he would kill and ruin a bunch of NPC quest lines. As I was starting my next game, someone told me all of it. His curse, what he does to Boggart, and what his ending entails.

First off, the fact that such a lowly sack of subhuman garbage even gets his own ending to the game is ridiculous. He doesn’t deserve it. Not even remotely. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like Gideon Ofnir, but he’s much more important and he doesn’t get his own ending? Hell, a LOT of characters are important and warranting of their own ending, but it’s Dung Eater that gets it.

Second, the philosophy of his ending is stupid as fuck. Omens are beings cursed from birth that are outside of the Erdtree’s blessing. Doesn’t seem like there’s a solid consensus on why it happens, but it does, and it sucks. It is an eternal curse, horrific to live through and guaranteeing basically unending and undeserved pain and suffering, and the Golden Order only makes it worse through their shunning and mistreatment of the Omens. Disdain for the current state of the Golden Order is understandable from the other side, and since those who have felt the curse are in suffering, the end goal should be to elevate their status, extending love to them and bringing them into Grace, yes? No. Dung Eater would rather hurt everyone than to help the few that need it. He would rather take everyone and everything as low as it possibly can go to make all equal in the eyes of purity because he wants everyone and everything to be as disgusting and vile as he is. He isn’t even an Omen, he’s just so vile that he revels in everything that is awful about the Omen Curse.

My girlfriend asked me what is so bad about him. I explained it by basically saying for her to imagine if Heaven was empirically proven to be real and we knew the exact way you had to get there. Imagine then if there was man; he was the ugliest man ever born that perpetually smelled like absolute shit, fetishized basically the innocent people that get sent to hell, and his sole mission in life was running around, torturing and murdering as many innocent people as he possibly could (thousands) and raping their corpses with his putrid dick to implant a curse into them that keeps them from going to heaven and sentences them to an eternity of suffering, and his ultimate end goal is to spread his demonic aids so far and wide that eventually every child born will be cursed to suffer physically, mentally, and spiritually in the worst way possible for all eternity, all in the hopes of making everyone and everything as ugly and vile as he is.

He is utterly repulsive. Everything about him. I hate his voice. I hate his armor. I hate his sword. I noticed when he was bashing his head against the wall this NG+ that his greasy hair stuck out the back of his helmet and almost vomited. I sold all gear associated with him when I got it, just holding it made me feel unclean and I would never equip it. I don’t care what kind of poise or stats his armor has, it’s so fucking ugly and he’s all I can equate it to and just seeing someone wear it in multiplayer fills me with disgust and makes me dislike them.

This NG+ I devised the way that I can subject him to the maximum amount of suffering possible. I didn’t send prawnbro to the moat, I wouldn’t until after he had been dealt with. Going into Leyndell was a sublime and incredible moment, as always, and I once again took several minutes to bask in the music, the glory of the city, and the Erdtree’s gargantuan scope. Then, I focused on getting underground. My hands were literally shaking with anticipation. I freed him, feeling absolutely disgusting all the while. Just being close to him made me, myself, the real world me, feel physically unclean. He was freed. I went to the moat and crushed him as violently as possible. Then, I sent prawnbro there, where he could be safe, and gathered four of the five seedbed curses. Once I had them I gave them to him. Slow. I made sure that he stayed tied down to that chair down there for as long as possible, listening to his moans and screams with each curse he received. I don’t know if this was better or worse for him, as he clearly is suffering, but it could just as easily be argued that he’s relishing in this suffering. I may just not collect any of the curses aside from the first obligatory one next time. Then, I fed him Seluvis’s potion. THIS is where the suffering is at its climax, and in the truest, best way possible. Hearing the fear in his voiced the denial, the pain. It’s incredible. Everything that makes him special is yanked out from under him like a rug, and now he gets to enjoy a new eternal suffering. One without any freedom, one where he isn’t anything special. And one where he never gets the chance to hurt anyone again, not unless I want him to. And I won’t give him the chance. Not ever.

How exactly does being a puppet work? Do you hold onto your awareness? Are you perfectly aware, remembering who you were and the life you lead, with your thoughts and ambitions, but no control over yourself? I feel like it’s probably like the hypnotic state in Get Out, or like the Black Lanterns from Blackest Night, where you’re just a passenger in your own body with full awareness and zero control. This would be quite sad for puppets like the Finger Maiden that that bastard Seluvis trapped, but just because of the Dung Eater, I hope it’s true. I hope he reaches the blackest pits of despair within his own mind, I hope every plea, every curse, every repentance that his mind could ever reach falls onto deaf ears forever, not that he is capable of regret, as much as I wish he was so that he could be even more tortured by himself for bringing this upon himself. Then again, just how highly he thinks of himself and being trapped in such a fate should be suffering enough.

This time I took his puppet from Selivus, but I’ll never use it. 1) I don’t need to and 2) if killing is truly so important to him, I want his suffering to be elevated even further by never being able to take a life again, even if not of his own volition. I like to think that after becoming Elden Lord (unless you go Lord of Chaos), you can do something even worse to him to make sure that he remains an imprisoned puppet for ever.

Long story short, I hate the Dung Eater far, far more than is probably normal or healthy for anyone to dislike a fictional character.