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I hate my autistic son

    I hate my autistic son
    
    [Remorse]
    
    I cant help it, my life is constantly terrible. I spend as much time as work as possible. The worst part is that I am supposed to pretend that I am happy about it. When we get together with the other parents and everyone is pretending their kids are as normal as anyone else. They are not. All of us secretly wish they were never born.
    
    I would never dare tell my wife this. She is in total denial. Every time he screams or has a breakdown I just wish he would die. I believe that violence is a lot more common than you think. but my wife and I always control ourselves. I can't stand it though. Why has god done this to me, and why instead of having support are you not supposed to say this. It is terrible, and I did not deserve it yet I am supposed to pretend life is just great.