Written by u/ChrisTheHurricane, its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Eruptor from Helldivers 2
I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of the Eruptor. I try to play Purifier. My Eruptor deals more damage. I try to play Crossbow. My Eruptor deals more damage. I try to play Deadeye. My Eruptor deals more damage. I want to play Machinegun. Its best loadout has Eruptor. I want to play Stalwart, HMG - they both want Eruptor. It grabs me by the throat. I grind WEXP for it. I spend requisition for it. I give it Angled Foregrip. It isn't satisfied. I buy Iron Sight. "I don't need this much ergo" It tells me. "Give me more field time." It grabs Gas grenade and forces it to throw itself at enemies. "You just need to funnel me more. I can deal more damage with Peak Physique." I can't buy Peak Physique, I don't have enough Super Credits. It grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." It grabs my squadmates. It says "Squadmates, get them." There is no hint of sadness in their eyes. Nothing but pure, indiscriminate devastation. What a cruel world.