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How to convince a kid you’re not an Italian mob member.

    My dream is to talk like this
    Ey look buddy, you cant just say am an italian mob member jus coz im italian ait? Das very offensive, ait? Now, lemme give ya som advice kid - in dis typa wold you either a smart fella, or a fart smella. An lemme tell ya, ya seem like a smart fella to me, wich is gud cuz ya dont wanna be a fart smella, cuz fart smellas get thei knee caps broken, ait? fart smellas go sleepin wit de fishes, ait? you dont wanna be a fart smella. Ey look buddy, I like ya, my boss Big Al, he gots a pizza restaurant right around da corna, if ye wants to make som extra cash and can work wit clientz go tell em Giorgi sent ya, ait? Stay otta trouble smart fella.