Yeah, so we were out on the trail about four years back just doing some leafbooting, ya know, while things were crunchy and we were walking for maybe an hour or so when he tells me he has to take a piss, and I’m like, “Yeah, sure, bud. I’ll just sit tight right here”, as my own bladder sloshes around like a Christian's fishbowl, and so I see him walk out to a nice wide tree, ya know, one that can really take a blasting, and this tree isn’t far, so he pulls his dong out and I can see he’s bricked up, like fully bricked up because we had been at it all afternoon and his ol’ boy had been tucked in warm pants for a while so that fresh air must have woke him up—nothing weird, happens to everyone—and so as he’s peeling the bark off that sturdy, ancient, elm, a doe, a deer, swerves its head around the other side and, pal, it’s got a look in its eyes that I had not seen before and not seen since, and my buddy is frozen in place, paralyzed by a powerful piss, and that deer just waits patiently and watches, and I’m watching, and my buddy is watching, and as soon as his dong bobs up and down with those last few spurts, the deer wraps its mouth around his penis, and remember, my buddy is bricked up from the fresh air, and so this deer is latched on and just going to town on my guy over there, and it’s like porn-style sloppy with the gagging and slurping noises and strings of thick saliva, and my buddy doesn’t know what to do because, I mean c’mon, this is a delicate situation here, what with a wily cervid putting the juicy clamps and his cock and everything, so I’m scared, but I don’t want to get close to him because I know my own penis is just one flimsy zipper away from flopping out and going full mongrel, and the fellatey smell in the air was gonna assure that was gonna happen, and yeah, so my buddy is like trying to gently release the deer, but also just getting slob jobbed into oblivion, and just when he’s about give me a thumbs up and throw his hands on top of his head to let it ride—Snap!—she bites that thing clean off with all the juiciness of a freshly chargrilled bratwurst, and that deer with a mouthful of dong giddy-ups deep into the woods where we couldn’t possible be able to follow, and he’s stunned and I’m stunned and we’re both staring at his dick stump, and we’re both sorta impressed because that was a clean bite, like super clean, like it didn’t even start bleeding right away, and my theory is that this dick biting deer had bitten a dick before and she’ll bite a dick again, so suffice it to say, my buddy and I have not hiked that trail again without wearing steel panties like the ranger suggests.