From S05E06 “The World Series Defense“ of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia where Mac writes a creepy love letter to second baseman Chase Utley.
Chase Utley
Dear Chase,
I feel like I can call you Chase because you and me are so much alike. I would love to meet you someday. It would be great to have a catch. I know I can't throw as fast as you but I think you would be impressed with my speed. I love your hair. You run fast. Did you have a good relationship with your father? Me neither. These are all the things we can talk about, and more. I know you have not been getting my letters because I know you would write back if you did. And I hope you write back this time. And we get to be good friends. I'm sure our relationship would be a real homerun.Scott Hartnell
Dear Scott,
I feel like I can call you Scott because you and me are so alike. I'd like to meet you one day, it would be great to have a skate. I know I can't skate as fast as you but I think you'd be impressed with my speed. I love your hair, you skate fast. Did you have a good relationship with your father? Me neither. These are all things we can talk about and more. I know you have no been getting my letters because I know you would write back if you did. I hope you write back this time, and we can become good friends. I am sure our relationship would be a real slapshot!