Skip to content

Day in the life of a Chinese citizen

    Day in the life of a Chinese citizen
    
        - Be me, a responsible citizen of the Glorious land of China!
        - Live in Beijing
        - Wake up at 4 am to the 500 tons of carbon dioxide in my area
        - Eat deep fried urine eggs and stray dogs for breakfast
        - See my neighbour being executed by the CCP for making a mild joke about our glorious leader Xi
        Jinping
        - Try to go to factory but get stuck in the traffic for the 847th time
        - Finally reach the factory the next day
        - Start my 15 hour shift to manufacture power rangers themed dildos
        - Co-worker tries to commit suicide but the nets stopped him from falling
        - Do this for 7 years
        - Save up enough to buy my 5th house in hopes of getting married
        - Try to retrieve my money from the bank but all the accounts have been locked because of a
        housing bubble crisis
        - Reach home depressed to see guys in hazmat suits waiting for me to quarantine me for 50
        years
        - Watch state-authorised news channels and jack off to Xi Jinping's speeches
        - Go on reddit and twitter and insult Indians and Americans and uphold the name of the
        glorious CCP
        - Sleep after having a wonderful day in the prosperous and flawless land of CHINA!