Skip to content

CUMGRESSIONAL🍆💦💦💦 🅱️ASE🅱️ALL⚾️ DAY

    In the year of our lord 1️⃣7️⃣7️⃣6️⃣, the founding daddies😩😩😩👨 of this great nation🇺🇲 signed the Dicklaration🍆 of Indepenis🥵😈🤤. Now, over two✌️ salaciously👅 sensual👄 centuries💯 later, their fullest, girthiest🤏🙅‍♀️ vision👀 is being realized: that's right, today is the day📅 of the annual CUMGRESSIONAL💦💦💦 🅱️ASE-cock-and-🅱️ALL-torture⚾️🥴😘 GAME!!! Today, the donkey-dicked🐴 Democrats💙 go head-to-head👅💧 with the ravenously😋 raunchy🤬 Republicans🐘🚩 in a heated🔥 competition that'll make you wish🤞 you were out there🧢 with them fondling their 🅱️alls⚾️⚾️😛 and swinging those things🏏🍆 around. Make sure to root, root, root for the hoe💋🤪 team; if they don't win, it's a walk🚷 of shame😅😫💔!!! Keep an eye👁 out for all those House hotties🔥🥵🥵🥵 and Senate sex🫂💦 symbols♂️♀️ in all their voluptuously 🅱️ootylicious🍑🍑🍑 🅱️aseball 🅱️eauty😍, and remember🤔: it's 1️⃣, 2️⃣, 3️⃣ strokes✊️🍆 and you're OUT🌈  at the old 🅱️all⚾️😝 game!!! Send this to 🔟 of your most provocative🤒😳 political🏛 pals🤝‼️ If you get 0️⃣-5️⃣ back, you're a Ted Cruz-y🤢 floozy🤮🤮🤮! If you get 5️⃣-🔟 back, you're a cumgressional💦 🅱️all 🅱️oy candickdate🍆😜🤧! If you get 🔟➕️ back, you're one of the Mommy🤱 Pelosi🤑 🅱️all slurping👅 virtuosi!!!