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Valorant

Archive of all Valorant related copypasta including of pro players, gaming organizations, Riot’s circle jerk, Valorant metas and Twitch chat to troll fans.


looking for egirl to play the game with and start out as friends

    looking for egirl to play the game with and start out as friends but eventually you develop feelings for me because im so incredibly good at valorant and you praise me and you instalock sage and you make me bark for heal nad meow for rez and tell me im a good boy and then after a while(you love me at this point) you become so obessed you stop talking to everyone else and you lose all your friends and your social life is horrible and we only talk to eachother pls add me PLS

    I am sick of Jett

      Parody of the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Jett from Valorant due to her popularity.

      I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Jett. I try to play Reyna, my Jett deals more damage. I try to play Pheonix, my Jett deals more damage. I try to play Neon, my Jett has better movement. I want to play Yoru, my team tells me to play Jett. Riot tried to nerf her, but she is still meta. I want to play a normal match, I get sniped by an enemy Jett. She grabs me by the throat. I instalock her. I grind for her. I buy her a Vandal. She isn't satisfied. I buy an Operator. "I need more skins", she tells me. "Buy me Kunai and Operator skins." She grabs all ult orbs and force me to snipe long. "You just need better aim. I can deal more damage with cooler skins." I can't buy skins. I don't have enough Valorant Points. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs her Kunai. She says "Get out of my way!" There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing but pure 100% accuracy even when moving. What a cruel world

      Guys can you please not spam the chat

        Guys can you please not spam the chat. My mom bought me this new laptop and it gets really hot when the chat is being spamed. Now my leg is starting to hurt because it is getting so hot. Please, if you don’t want me to get burned, then dont spam the chat.

        Yashwatthama “yay” Yadav

          Part of a series of copypasta featuring a pro Valorant players with fictional biography of ridiculous background from Asia.

          Yashwatthama "yay" Yadav is an Indian professional Valorant player for NV, an American electrical sports ( e-sports) organisation. He is also known as El Diablo aka the demon because of his mafia connections in his hometown, Haryana.

          QcK = Qiangjiang Cultivation Kingdom

            Gabriel “QcK” Lima is a Brazilian pro Valorant player who is playing for LOUD.

            Qiangjiang Cultivation Kingdom (qck) is a Chinese agricultural collective located in the south-central Hubei Province. QCK is known for its extreme success in cultivating frost peas XL (FPX) and the pride of the Chinese agricultural industry, Elegant Dragon gourds (EDG), particularly in the early growing season. Unfortunately, qck's previous success was stunted by two consecutive waves of plant diseases. Its third crop was decimated by a bout of stunted enation necrosis (SEN), while its fourth crop was infected by Powdery Rust Xanthomas (PRX).

Investors are concerned about qck's long-term financial viability and its ability to recoup the loss of the region's previous star crop, Aspasragus.
            Qiangjiang Cultivation Kingdom (qck) is a Chinese agricultural collective located in the south-central Hubei Province. QCK is known for its extreme success in cultivating frost peas XL (FPX) and the pride of the Chinese agricultural industry, Elegant Dragon gourds (EDG), particularly in the early growing season. Unfortunately, qck's previous success was stunted by two consecutive waves of plant diseases. Its third crop was decimated by a bout of stunted enation necrosis (SEN), while its fourth crop was infected by Powdery Rust Xanthomas (PRX). Such bad luck has only continued into the current harvest split.

The loss of the region's previous star crop, Aspasragus, has proven disastrous for qck and its larger shipping conglomerate, Liaoyang Overseas Urban Docking (LOUD). Shanghai investors have started withdrawing their support, reallocating it to other regional investment instruments, including Korean Retail Units (KRU).

            Lets see your trophies. 3rd grade player Genghsta. And Steel you are a professional thrower.

              Lets see your trophies. 3rd grade player Genghsta. And Steel you are a professional thrower. Your whole career in CS you are known because of your throwing scandal and what have you done in Valorant except for bitching everytime. Go get a life.