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Valorant

Archive of all Valorant related copypasta including of pro players, gaming organizations, Riot’s circle jerk, Valorant metas and Twitch chat to troll fans.


I hate SEN with every fiber of my being

    Posted after SEN 2-0 loss to GenG in Valorant Champions 2024. Instantly became a copypasta due to a running joke that SEN has the most fans (glazers) in Valorant competitive.

    ive honestly never been this happy in a long time like im still smiling like 5 hours later. I hate SEN with every fiber of my being and it felt like ecstasy hit me like a bullet in between my sparkling ass eyeballs watching them get 2-0'd. they dont play real valorant, that gameplay is not real valorant like it has no class, and yet they get all the fans that are annoying and happy and i tried to be the bigger person and keep this all in but i cant bro im so happy rn.

i genuinely love you guys on GenG shoutout the goat meteor btw you deserve everything good that'll happen in your life i promise you bro your family raised you right. shoutout munchkin for the goated calling, shoutout t3xture for keeping it real, shoutout lakia for that sova ascent clutch that shit was beautiful, real lakia of valorant stuff, and shoutout karon for being picked from ranked because i fw that bro i love ranked u guys are geniuses up there i swear. I love this team so much man. i love u geng so much im geng for life now

    Good game everyone! You guys were kinda embarrasing not gonna lie

      Good game everyone! You guys were kinda embarrasing not gonna lie, but thank you for the free elo and good luck on ur next game because you are definitely gonna need it. This game felt like a deathmatch tbh or more like a game in the range against the practice bots. I recommend you guys Aimlabs or the range to help improve your aim because it was kinda terrible... in all honesty you might want to consider uninstalling. Anyways thank you for the free win and good game u absolute BOTS.

      Good ending

      Good game everyone! You guys were kinda cracked not gonna lie, but thank you for playing and good luck in life because you are definitely gonna do some great things in your future. This game felt like a scrim tbh or more like a game in VCT against pro players. I recommend you guys start streaming because your skill level is kinda insane... in all honesty you might want to consider going pro. Anyways thank you for the good practice and good game u absolute LEGENDS.

      looking for egirl to play the game with and start out as friends

        looking for egirl to play the game with and start out as friends but eventually you develop feelings for me because im so incredibly good at valorant and you praise me and you instalock sage and you make me bark for heal nad meow for rez and tell me im a good boy and then after a while(you love me at this point) you become so obessed you stop talking to everyone else and you lose all your friends and your social life is horrible and we only talk to eachother pls add me PLS

        I am sick of Jett

          Parody of the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Jett from Valorant due to her popularity.

          I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Jett. I try to play Reyna, my Jett deals more damage. I try to play Pheonix, my Jett deals more damage. I try to play Neon, my Jett has better movement. I want to play Yoru, my team tells me to play Jett. Riot tried to nerf her, but she is still meta. I want to play a normal match, I get sniped by an enemy Jett. She grabs me by the throat. I instalock her. I grind for her. I buy her a Vandal. She isn't satisfied. I buy an Operator. "I need more skins", she tells me. "Buy me Kunai and Operator skins." She grabs all ult orbs and force me to snipe long. "You just need better aim. I can deal more damage with cooler skins." I can't buy skins. I don't have enough Valorant Points. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs her Kunai. She says "Get out of my way!" There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing but pure 100% accuracy even when moving. What a cruel world

          Guys can you please not spam the chat

            Guys can you please not spam the chat. My mom bought me this new laptop and it gets really hot when the chat is being spamed. Now my leg is starting to hurt because it is getting so hot. Please, if you don’t want me to get burned, then dont spam the chat.

            Yashwatthama “yay” Yadav

              Part of a series of copypasta featuring a pro Valorant players with fictional biography of ridiculous background from Asia.

              Yashwatthama "yay" Yadav is an Indian professional Valorant player for NV, an American electrical sports ( e-sports) organisation. He is also known as El Diablo aka the demon because of his mafia connections in his hometown, Haryana.