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Valorant

Archive of all Valorant related copypasta including of pro players, gaming organizations, Riot’s circle jerk, Valorant metas and Twitch chat to troll fans.


MY NAMES HIKO

    No game is an esport until we get these
    MY NAMES HIKO 4Head IM A BAITER 4Head ILL MEET YOU AT THE BOMBSITE 4Head A LITTLE BIT LATER


    Thats it.. Prime Odan will kill valorant

      Prime Odan will kill valorant 
      As most of you guys probly saw, the prime odan got leaked. As we all know, the Prime vandle is way to OP - it Does to much damge , and its Unfair for people like me who gota fight prime vandle abusers With only the black vandle skin.

Im not gona lie, I was prety exitceted for the next patch. They got new charcter astra Who can fly and she also got cool hair cut. Howver, when i Opened up redit today, I LIATERALY fainted from what my Eyes see: PRIME ODAN.

No afense to anyone, But im am probly the Best odan user in the Game, and I dont even got any SKINS. But now its gona be IMPOSIBLE to win any Match cause rich people gona buy prime ODAN and win evrey single batle. It dosnt mater what skin you got.. Prime odan gona ruin the game wahther you like it or not.

Im so sick of riot dirty PAY to win modle. I thoguht this was suposed to be a game of skill, not a Game of how much Credit card debt You can get to Acheve high Rank like bronse, Golden, and Dimond. Theres alraedy enough HACKER (rana) in the game that Makes it imposible for good player like me (Im rank: Iran 1 but almost iran2 except For RANA hacker) that riot Shouldnt adding in the prime ODAN.

Alot of you guys kno w, I sayed I would QUIT valrant when they aded prime odan, Well gues what Im quiting valrant Until i can Find my moms cradit card to Buy one. To riot: why Even think about ading prime odan if You know its OP. This gun got no place in competive game like valrant...
      Hello , i'm in charge of the team that works on balance, and I can explain very easy to you:

the odan is expensive af. When making both guns and skins, we at riot thought: expensive = good. Since you are paying so much for a Odan and a Aparator in game (3200 and 5000 credits), we had to make them the best wepons. The same goes to the skins! If you are willing to spend your entire rent in our game, you really need to have some advantage, after all you are spending more money, taking more risks, thats what we want in Valorant! So when you get a gun that is both expensive inside and outside the game, we had to make sure the Recoil and Spread were reduced, as well the Damage increased.

      That time I ran into Kaboose at the Piggly Wiggley

        Ha oh man, this reminds me of the time in I ran into Kaboose at the Piggly Wiggley, I told him I worked for Riot and I loved the way he played, etc.

Unfortunately, it was really strange because the whole time he kept shuffling his feet looking around occasionally he put an item or two in. Overall kinda seemed strangely obsessed with the fresh fish section.

I kept yapping my trap in the freezer aisle about VALORANT Champions Tour, how I thought they really had a chance to make NA proud. You get the idea.

And all of a sudden when we got to the checkout counter he finally said something back to me that was hard to hear at first because of masks and all. He said “I need some help..” Sure I said, what do you need bud! “ I need about treefiddy..” Well it’s about that time I noticed that Jake “Kaboose” McDonald wasn’t a 20 year old American Esports player at all! He was a goddamn Lochness Monsta from the Paleozoic era! I said go away monsta, you’re not gonna get nothing out of me again!

Well so called Jake “Kaboose” McDonald shuffled his way out of the Piggly Wiggly into the parking lot, and ultimately into our hearts as one of the best players on team Envy. Man other than that, I think he’s a really great guy and can’t wait to watch him play this week.

And that’s the story of how I met Kaboose.

        Shinobi is a tactical genius.

          Shinobi is a tactical genius. He is best known for his signature tactic "Tenz go kill". He also has a second little known tactic of "Tenz dead - friends go save". What an absolute legend. Top 3 IGL for sure...

          I saw Wardell while in line at the bank

            WATCH THIS
            Last week I saw Wardell while in line at the bank. He was wearing 13 rolexes and a chain made out of protein powder so I asked how he had so much money. He said "WATCH THIS", pulled out a glock and robbed the bank for $31,203. Then he double updrafted and dashed out of the store...