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Billie’s 18th Birthday

Billie Eilish copypasta — Another variation

Happy Birthday Billie!! How old are you now? Wait... You just turned 18??? Oh my god... oh fuck.... Billie.... shit.... OHHHHHHHHH SHITT...! Fuck... I'm so sorry, Billie, I didn't mean to cum, I swear!! Please forgive me, and forget about this... unless...? Okay, confession time!!!! Billie, ever since you started music, I've loved you, you and your music, and I've done some naughty things... looking at your pictures... Well, now that you're all grown up, do you... love me... too? Please, Billie, I've always wanted to do things to you... and now you're finally 18, we can have legal sex!! Please, Billie, respond to this message quickly, and say yes!!!! I'll be waiting...

I love you

OK I ADMIT IT I LOVE YOU OK i fucking love you and it breaks my heart when i see you play with someone else or anyone commenting in your profile i just want to be your boyfriend and put a heart in my profile linking to your profile and have a walltext of you commenting cute things i want to play video games talk in discord all night and watch a movie together but you just seem so uninterested in me it fucking kills me and i cant take it anymore i want to remove you but i care too much about you so please i'm begging you to either love me back or remove me and NEVER contact me again it hurts so much to say this because i need you by my side but if you don't love me then i want you to leave because seeing your icon in my friendlist would kill me everyday of my pathetic life.

Heroin Nazi Rapist DM

“Heroin Nazi Rapist DM” doesn’t exists in any pasta archives. Y’all got baited hard by a greentext post on 4chan that was crossposted on Reddit. Jebaited hard and left to dust.

Oldest 4chan trick in the book. Reference something interesting then pretend it's actually too hardcore to post, just to troll.

99% chance it doesn’t exist

As a straight guy, erect cocks are more attractive than boobs

Everybody knows this. Cocks are the most attractive things humans have. They are smooth, they are not confusing in how they work (looking at you vaginas) and they are good sources of pleasure. Sometimes, I just look at gay porn so I can admire the dicks. Im straight but this needs to be said.

Okay I can see where he's coming from. From a shape language theory perspective, cocks are more attractive. They have a natural curve, a natural line of motion, and the cock head has naturally contrasting shapes, the shaft being a curved rectangle and the head being more triangular. The roundness of boobs communicates cuteness or comfortablility whereas the penis has a square and triangle shape, which communicates trustability but the triangle presents an edge, so perhaps the penis is not all it seems, which interests people.

Of course that's entirely from a purely shape language theory perspective lol.

Turned on by female Gta

the first time i played gta online and saw that majestic ass. that amazing walking style. i immediately put off my clothes and started to heavily masturbate to her while i i followed her in first person to see her. when i finished in 20 seconds i went to rule34.xxx and looked up gta_online while masturbating again. it was beautiful. i stayed all night finding, screenshotting and masturbating to female gta online characters and did that for 2 days and after getting my 1 hour sleep. i dont get attracted to real women anymore. they are ugly, irreplaceable and worthless unless they look exactly like a female gta online character. all i care about is gta online female characters. my parents want to send me to therapy because i masturbated to screenshots of gta online female characters while eating dinner with them but i refuse. i have found my meaning in life and they cannot stop me

just saw my stepsister nude and it was awkward

before the Alabama comes in, no i don’t like her, no i don’t fantasise about her, no i don’t watch that weird ass stepsister shit. to put it plain and simple, she is pretty. that’s all, nothing else.

so basically here in the uk it’s like 12:30 am and i was lying down on the couch at my stepmums house. i went to go get a drink from the kitchen and didn’t even notice the light was on cos i have a habit of forgetting to turn them off so i assumed i accidentally left it on. as soon as i enter i see her at the table, too poor for clothes eating Cheerios while staring at her phone. i looked away obviously, but it being the middle of the night i couldn’t be loud. so basically i was whispering to her to try and tell her to go upstairs and put some clothes on. but of course she didn’t hear, so i had to look up a couple times to make sure she heard.

once she saw me, she stared for like a second with the most blank face and then got up and left

it was fucking weird

edit: fuck off guys can you please stop jesus im not attracted to her

edit 2: You guys are sick fucks. She’s my stepsister for fucks sake, why exactly would I be attracted to her? I had to change hot to pretty despite the fact that I said that I’m not attracted to her in the slightest. So i can say that girls on the street are hot, but suddenly if they are my stepsister then she’s suddenly ugly and I’m not allowed to say that? I fucking get that it sound weird but stop saying that I am the one in the wrong here when you are seeing a compliment to someone and lewding it to shit.