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Mulheres na academia e cheiro natural

    Todos os dias tento ser uma pessoa simpática na academia. As mulheres sempre me trataram de maneira neutra ou normal.
    
    Hoje foi exceção. Minha mãe trocou o sabonete, eu só uso Dove ou Senador, e ela colocou um Albani fedido, nem vi e usei. Passei o desodorante mas começou a feder a medida q eu suava.
    
    Mano, pqp! Hoje TODAS as mulheres treinaram coladas comigo, eu com cece e tinha uma fazendo stiff de baixo do meu sovaco. Era desesperador, eu me afastava e elas me seguiam.
    
    A professora q era fechadona estava "falante" hj e me seguia pra puxar assunto, e eu só pensando "saiam daqui carai".
    
    Sempre vou cheirosinho e geral me deixa quieto, hj que eu tava fedido tinha até menina querendo revezar cmg. Obs, a academia estava vazia, eu no extremo cantinho e elas puxando tapete pra fazer glúteo e abs perto de mim, que merda vey.

    Open English translated

    Every day I try to be a nice person at the gym. Women have always treated me neutrally or normally.
    
    Today was an exception. My mom changed the soap, I only use Dove or Senator, and she put on a stinky Albani, I didn't even see it and use it. I applied the deodorant but it started to stink as I sweated.
    
    Bro, why! Today ALL the women trained with me, me with cece and there was one doing stiff under my armpit. It was desperate, I would walk away and they would follow me.
    
    The teacher who was closed was "talky" today and followed me to bring up the subject, and I was just thinking "get outta here man".
    
    I always go smelling and generally leaves me quiet, today I was smelly there was even a girl wanting to take turns with me. Obs, the gym was empty, I was in the far corner and they were pulling the rug to do glutes and abs next to me, vey shit.

    Minha namorada transa de fone de ouvido

      Começou recentemente quando ela começou a pedir pra eu colocar música na TV enquanto a gente fazia, daí de uns dias pra cá eu comecei a reparar que ela coloca o fone bluetooth antes da gente começar, como fazemos no escuro eu nunca tinha visto até que um dia eu fui falar com ela e ela não me respondia aí eu percebi que ela tava ouvindo música, quando questionei ela, ela me disse que ajuda ela a concentrar naquilo, sem desviar a atenção, eu comecei pensar tipo (sou tão ruim assim que a pessoa fica com a mente voando?) Mas ela me disse que não tem nada haver comigo pq ela gosta de ouvir música pra fazer tudo, disse que até aumentava o tesão pq conseguia focar na penetração "realmente eu percebi que ela tá mais presente na hora H" acho estranho e legal ao mesmo tempo, imagina aí vc transar ouvindo a 5° sinfonia de Beethoven

      Open English translated

      My girlfriend fucks on headphones. It started recently when she started asking me to put music on the TV while we were doing it, then a few days ago I started to notice that she puts on the bluetooth headset before we start, as we do in the dark I had never seen it until a day I went to talk to her and she didn't answer me then I realized that she was listening to music, when I questioned her, she told me that it helps her to concentrate on that, without diverting her attention, I started to think like (I'm so bad that the Does anyone get the mind flying?) But she told me that it has nothing to do with me because she likes to listen to music to do everything, she said that it even increased the horny because she managed to focus on penetration "I really noticed that she is more present at the time H" I think it's weird and cool at the same time, imagine having sex listening to Beethoven's 5th symphony

      *jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets*

        *jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.

        Morbius truly has to be one of the films

          Morbius truly has to be one of the films released in 2022 so far. Jared Leto did a job playing Morbius and the action was in the film. The film has storytelling and the CGI was animated. The side characters were along with morbius and the villain was a bad guy. The jokes were sentences. This film really is one of the films of all time, if not the last decade.

          I want to bang the danganronpa bear

            Monokuma or Danganronpa bear copypasta
            Holy fucking shit. I want to bang the danganronpa bear so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time a trial happens I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Monokuma. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Monokuma's tight furry ass. I want him to have my mutant human/bear babies.
            
            Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with my plush. I'd set up a "punishment time" and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my PS4. I might not ever get to see Monokuma again.
            Holy 📷📷 fucking 📷 shit. 💩🏿 I 📷 want 📷📷 to 📷 bang the 📷📷 danganronpa bear 📷📷 so goddamn bad. I 📷 can't 📷📷 stand it 📷📷 anymore. Every time a 📷📷 trial happens I 📷📷 get a 📷 massive 📷📷 erection. 📷 I've 📷 seen 📷📷 literally every 📷📷 rule 34 📷📷 post there 📷📷 is 📷 of 📷 him 📷 online. 📷📷 My 💦🏿 dreams 📷 are 📷📷 nothing but 📷📷 constant fucking sex 📷 with Monokuma. I'm sick of 📷📷 waking up 📷 every 📷📷 morning with 📷 six nuts in 📷 my 📷📷 boxers and knowing that 📷 those are 📷📷 nuts 📷 that 📷 should've 📷📷 been 📷 busted inside 📷 of 📷📷 Monokuma's tight 📷 furry 📷📷 ass. 📷 I 📷 want 📷 him 📷📷 to have my 📷📷 mutant human/bear babies. Fuck, 📷📷 my fucking mom 📷📷 caught 📷📷 me with 📷 my plush. I'd set 📷📷 up a 🏽📷 "punishment 🏻 time" 📷 and 📷 went 📷📷 to fucking town. 📷 She 📷📷 hasn't said 📷 a 📷 word 📷 to 📷📷 me in 10 📷 hours 📷📷 and 📷 I'm 📷 worried 📷📷 she's gonna 📷 take away 📷📷 my PS4. I 📷 might 📷 not 📷📷 ever 📷 get to see 📷 Monokuma again. 📷
            
            why is 🤔 there 👬✔ so 🚟💪 many 🍺❔ camera emojis ❤😩

            Ides of March

              today👏is👏the👏ides of march❗️❗️❗️📆😜 Julius Caesar 💬might💬 have gotten💘the knife😩 but I'm ❌NOT❌🙅 going to stab🔪🔪YOU in the back👌🙏 because you're my 👬HOMIE! send this to 1⃣5⃣ Rulers 👑of Greece that you 🚫won't🚫 stab in the back 🔪🔪 ET TU BROTE?? 🙊
              FRIENDS 😲 ROMANS 🤣 COUNTRYMEN 👏‼️ LEND 🤙 ME YOUR 👵🏼 EARS 👂🏼🙏 You Know 🎓📚 What 🤔 Today 📆 Is ⁉️ BEWARE ⚠️🙅🏽‍♂️ the IDES ✅ OF MARCH ‼️‼️ RIP 😇😢 To My Man 👨🏽 JULIUS CAESAR 🌿😔😭 Today 📆 you must 😾👍 RIP 💨THAT JUULius 😂😩 in the 👏 name of CAESAR 🌿😂‼️ Send this to 1️⃣5️⃣ ANCIENT ROMANS ‼️ for unlimited 👏🔂 RIPS 💨 of that JUULius 🙏🌿
              It's 🌲MARCH🌲 1ST BITCHES👄! U KNOW WHAT DAT MEAN👌🏻 ITS THE 💦🎉ANNIVERSARY🎉💦 OF EMPEROR🙏🏻 DIOCLETIAN👨🏾 APPOINTING CONSTANTIUS CHLORUS👨🏻 AND GALERIUS👨🏼 AS CAESARS🍆🍑😫, REPRESENTING DAT SHIFT😂😂 TO THE 🙏🏻MF🙏🏻 ROMAN💯 TETRARCHY👌🏻🍆! 😫👅💦CLICC DAT MF SHIT😂😂👌🏻 IF U WANT SOME 👨🏿BIG👨🏿 ROMAN 🍆DICK🍆 TO CELEBRATE THAT SHIT 🍑FAM😂😂😫😪. THESE FOOLZ👨🏿 BEEN UP TRAPPING🍑👅 REAL MF HOURS SINCE 293😳😳. U BETTER PUT😏 YO 👨🏼MANS DICK🍆 IN YO MOUTH👅 FOR 🔥 DIOCLETIAN 🔥💦😏 AND HIS GIRL👩🏽 WHO HAD THE FATTEST 🙏🏻🍑🍑BOOTY🍑🍑 🙏🏻IN THE WESTERN 🌎🙌🏻WORLD🙌🏻🌚. SHARE THIS 🌭SHIT🌭 WITH THE 💣THICKEST💣 💯CUM💯 💦THIRSTY💦 BITCHES👩🏽👩🏽 U KNOW SO U GET 💯GOOD💯 🍑ASS🍑 DICK🍆 THIS MONTH💣🍆🙏🏻👅🔥🌭🍑💯😂6️⃣9️⃣
              ET TU, BOOTAY⁉️⁉️ The RIDES 💯💯💯 👀👀👀 of March 📅📅 has CUM 💦💦💦💦👉👌 get ready to roman BUST A NUT‼️‼️ 💥💥🌰🌰🌰 Best wishes to all you SENATE SLUTS 👅🌽👅🌽 doesn't matter if you're a plebeian 🏚🏚🏚💸💸 or PUSSYtrician 😼😼😼🤑🤑🤑 because DADDY 👅👨👅👨 Brutus is the DICKtator 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆 we all deserve 👄👄 just like juliASS 🍑😩🍑😩🍑 caesar we're gonna get stabbed 🔪 🍌🔪🍌 2️⃣3️⃣ times in the BACK 🌽🌽🌽🍑🍑🍑 tonight. send this to 1️⃣5️⃣ of your BEST 😏😏😏 Senate Sluts 🏛🏛🏛👉👌get 5️⃣ back and you're a BACK 🍑🍑 STABBER 🔪🌽🔪🌽🔪 get 1️⃣0️⃣ back and you're a citizen of the roman repubLICK 👅👄👅👄👅 get 1️⃣5️⃣ back and you're a glaDICKator 🍌🍌🍆🍆🏟🏟🏟