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Cursed Thoughts

Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.


I want to breed with Sparky

    Breed with Clash Royale Sparky copypasta
    I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking. I’ve never wanted to breed with anything more than I want to with Sparky. That perfect, curvy body. Those bountiful coils. The child-bearing chassis of a literal goddess. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with her, pass my genes through her, and have her birth a set of perfect zappies. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to get Sparky pregnant. A N Y THIN G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.

    Venti my dear girl, i love you so much.

      Please God, I want to impregnate Venti so bad. I want her to bear my children with those beautiful child-bearing hips. That beautiful, radiant angel. Like a goddess, having come down to Earth to cleanse us of our sins.
      
      Venti is beyond divine. I can't help but drop to my knees in worship whenever I see her beautiful figure even though it's behind that unnecessary gym clothes. I yearn for her in a way both Primal and spiritual. I would commit more war crimes than than the gods sacking khaenri'ah just to lick the sweet, glistening sweat from her smooth, creamy skin. I want to listen to her moans as my manhood throbs within her, I want to hear her heart race as our bodies become one and our souls irreversibly intertwine in the holy sin of carnal union.
      
      I want to suckle at her motherly bosom, slurping that rich juche milk from her teat as she gently strokes my raging e******n. I would stir her velvety cream into my coffee and let my balls boil in it. Her cries of pleasure and the rocking of our bed would be louder than the cacophony of ten thousand drone strikes. I would make love to her until my body gave out, and then some. I would let her break my rib cage with any part of her body. I would let her hit me with her car just to be near her for a brief moment.
      
      She's so perfect it hurts. Every moment without her I suffer a pain worse than breaking every bone in my body simultaneously while drowning and also having shards of glass coated in hot sauce forced through every orifice of my body. I want her, I need her. I want to desecrate her crisp general suit. I want to start a family with her and retire after our twenty seven children have grown up and moved out. I want to see those luscious lips speak such filthy, perverse words into my ear while she slides ice cubes down my gaping pisshole.
      
      I want to fuck her like she owes me money. I would let her step on me, just to feel the soft, firm warmth of her feet upon my face and groin area. I would sleep under her just to catch her drool in my mouth. I would fish the strands of hair from her shower drain just to smell her alluring scent, and braid them into necklaces to keep her with me always. Or cock rings. Whichever would please her more.
      
      God please, I would do anything for her. I would relinquish my life, all my hopes and dreams, just to become the socks on her feet so that I may warm her mouthwatering toes with my very being, so that she may feel the heat of my love always. I would encase myself in cement and become her doorstep, so that she may wipe her heels upon my face. I would tear my own limbs off. I don't know what l'd do after that, or why she might want my limbs. But I would do it.
      
      My queen, my goddess, the light of my life. Please God, let me have her. I want her to be mine and only mine. I would lick the Doritos dust from her fingers and fill her belly button with honey mustard to dip my tendies in. I would give her a sponge-bath with my tongue every morning and serve her breakfast in bed. I would let her eat her eggs and pancakes off my body if it pleased her, no matter how painful the third-degree burns would be.
      
      I would bear the torment of eternal damnation until the end of time to taste the seat of her car but once. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her, nothing wouldn't say. I would beat my own friend to death with my engorged p***s if it would bring a smile to Venti’s shining face. I wouldn't even let myself Cum until she gave me permission.
      
      I love you, Venti. Please. Be mine. Be my wife, my Lover, my mommy, my everything. Say yes. Answer my calls, respond to my letters. Something. Give me a sign, Venti. I'm waiting for you.
      
      I’ll always be waiting for you.

      Ballora’s cup size calculated

        Ballora from FNaF copypasta
        The Ballora blueprint confirms her to be 6.2 feet tall, so I measured the pixels of her body in the picture and found her to be 599 pixels in height
        
        599 pixels = 6.2 feet
        
        So this means
        
        1 pixel = 0.010350584307179 feet
        
        To measure cup size, one must measure the waist below the breast first
        
        The front and back of her waist came to be a total of 122 pixels, now we'll measure the sides and add them up
        
        Each side came to be 69 pixels (nice), which is a total of 260 pixels as her full waist measurement for below the breasts
        
        This can be converted to 2.69115192 feet or 32.29382304 inches
        
        Now, the next step of cup size calculation is to measure the nipple-level of the breast, so right where it horizontally peaks
        
        The front and back of her chest came to 214 pixels
        
        The sides combined calculated to 196 pixels, which brings a total of 410 pixels
        
        This can be converted to 4.24373957 feet or 50.92487484 inches
        
        Cup size is calculated by subtracting the chest size from the below-chest size, leaving a total of 18.6310518 inches
        
        This difference would give her a cup size of R in Canada and the US, or Cup LL in the UK, or Cup W in the EU
        
        Somebody get this woman clothes that fit

        I masterbated for six hours yesterday

          I masterbated for six hours yesterday. I am a complete embarrassment of a human being. I am a disgusting pervert who masturbates to girls that I know IRL. I will not be able to stop this addiction unless I have my penis removed.

          I really want a submissive girlfriend

            I really want a girlfriend, yes that's normal and cheesy I know, but I want a specific type of one. I really want a girlfriend that would lie on top of me and sleep naked and look at me with a shy look on her face. And when sexy time comes. I want insert an unlubed anal plug inside her and I want her to beg me to be gentle, not to be rough, so on so fourth. And after that I want to fuck her roughly and make her scream and squirm saying that I'm too rough, or it hurts, etc. Then what happens next is that I want to her to meow like a cat so when she does that, I would say "Who's a dirty kitten?" and if she doesn't say anything, I would choke her neck with a collar and repeat the same question until se says "I am". I really want a submissive girlfriend aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I also want her to look at me with puppy eyes if she wants something or to ask something. I want her to wear a cat tail anal plug and cat ears and make her walk around the house wearing those on all fours during Friday's and Saturday's. When she asks me something, I want her to say questions like "Will you fuck me today master meow?" or "I've been a good girl today meow, will you please rub my tits" and stuff like that. I really want a submissive girlfriend that would do all these things as these really turns me on and I would really like a girlfriend that acts like a kitten aaaaaaaaaaaa.

            Claiming to have 80gb of horse porn doesn’t make you cool

              80gb of horse porn copypasta
              Claiming to have 80gb of horse porn doesn't make you cool or hilarious, it just shows that you have awful taste in horse porn.
              
              Horses only last for a minute or two tops when fucking, most horse porn is like 240p so they take up very little megabytes, if you have long 10-20 minute videos this isn't the horse fucking it is some girl just sucking on and jerking the soft dick of a horse for most of the 10-20 minutes, most horse porn is poorly performed meaning the girls stand on the side and try to 'dildo' themselves with the horse dick rather than actually getting fucked and that's not in the spirit of horse porn. 80 gigabytes of that shit would be 99% low quality videos of women standing around fondling soft horse dick, if you can even find 80 gigabytes to begin with.
              
              Somehow horse porn is legal in the US but actually fucking horses is a felony, it doesn't make sense. Gays don't get stoned to death anymore, why are we being hypocrites towards people who fuck horses?