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Cursed Thoughts

Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.


How to know if a dolphin wants sex

    The original "How to know if a dolphin wants sex" came from a 1996 article on "delphinophile.com"

    This is an old classic pasta from 1996 but had gone through a popularity resurgence the past few years. The original source came from an article Sex with Dolphins – “How To”, and a Personal Viewpoint…by Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn September, 1996 from Delphinophile.com which was a site dedicated to “promote the unconventional relationships that some people have between humans and dolphins” according to the site owner.

    The answers from the FAQs had been combined into a long essay-format to pass on as a derange post to be copy and pasted. The author, Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn described himself as a Delphinic Zoophile which is someone who has sexual encounters with dolphins and dedicates himself to understand dolphin kind.

    There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement.
    
    Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you.
    
    Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.
    
    A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other.
    
    Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating.
    
    Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited.
    
    Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body.
    
    There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.

    I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than having a daughter.

      I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cucked than having a daughter. Honestly, think about it rationally. You are feeding, clothing, raising and rearing a girl for at least 18 years solely so she can go and get ravaged by another man. All the hard work you put into your beautiful little girl - reading her stories at bedtime, making her go to sports practice, making sure she had a healthy diet, educating her, playing with her. All of it has one simple result: her body is more enjoyable for other men.
      
      Raised the perfect girl? Great. Who benefits? If you're lucky, a random man who had nothing to do with the way she grew up, who marries her. He gets to ravage her every night. He gets the benefits of her kind and sweet personality that came from the way you raised her.
      
      As a man who has a daughter, you are LITERALLY dedicating at least 20 years of your life simply to raise a girl for another man to enjoy. It is the ULTIMATE AND FINAL cuck. Think about it logically. 

      Brawl Stars Willow

        Willow copypasta from Brawl Stars

        Its a parody of the infamous Vaporeon copypasta but changed to Willow from Brawl Stars.

        Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female brawler breeding, Willow is the most compatible Brawler for humans? Not only are they in the thrower group, which is mostly comprised of idiots, Willow is an average of 5’03” tall and 89 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Stats for HP and access to shield gear, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Willow would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the star powers obsession and love is blind, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their Gadgets Dive and Spellbound, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Brawler comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Willow turn white. Willow is literally built for human dick. Ungodly Acid attacks, Gadgets+Star Powers, means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more 

        The biggest oversight with Ivy is that she’s unbelievably sexy

          Its the famous Dark Willow copypasta from Dota 2 but changed into Ivy from Deadlock.

          The biggest oversight with Ivy is that she's unbelievably sexy. I can't go on a hour of my day without thinking about plowing that tight Stone ass. I'd kill a man in cold blood just to spend a minute with her crotch grinding against my throbbing manhood as she whispers terribly dirty things to me in her geographically ambiguous accent. 
          The biggest🙌💯oversight🔭🔍with Ivy🌮🪨is that she's unbelievably sexy🤤💦🍆. I can't go on a hour🕐of my day🌞without thinking💭💦about plowing👉👌🚜that tight😳Stone🪨ass💦🍑. I'd kill🔫😱a man👨 in cold❄️blood😈just to spend💷a minute⏱️with her crotch🍑😫grinding against my throbbing💦🍆💦manhood💦🍆💦as she whispers🙊😫terribly dirty💩💩things to me in her geographically🌍🌎ambiguous🌏🗺️accent🇲🇽. 

          Anti-banging Ivy response

          Okay. So, I’ve been seeing this copypasta floating around about wanting to “bang Ivy”, and frankly- I think this is disgusting.
          
          Wanting to bang her is just gross. Saying that you want to bang Ivy is objectifying her, and it is not okay. If you’ve ever wanted to bang Ivy, you should be disgusted with yourself.
          
          Unlike you cretins, I however- respect her. Sure, it’s possible I may consider her to be rather bangable, but I wouldn’t dare do such a thing. Ivy is a fucking queen, and deserves to be treated as such.
          
          I DO NOT want to bang “Ivy". I want to hug her. I want to be in a healthy and loving relationship with Ivy. I want to wake up every morning in bed, with her lying peacefully next to me as the morning sun shines in through the window. I want to make her breakfast every morning, and tend to her every need. I want her to feel like she is truly loved, (because she is). I want her to be by my side for my whole life, because I know that she is the perfect woman for me, and I am perfect for her.
          
          I want to be to be with her every day, just so I can tell her how much I fucking love her. I want her to know how much I adore everything amazing personality, her incredible fashion sense, her extremely impressive caretaking abilities, and her absolutely beautiful wing to body ratio, and her beautiful, beautiful eyes.
          
          However, if I were to ever have sex with Ivy, wouldn’t simply be “banging” her. If Ivy were to ever consent to me having sexual intercourse with her, it would be tender and loving and passionate. As we make love, I’d slowly and gently caress her soft, fluffy wings as I slowly but deliberately thrusted into her tight Gargoyle pussy. I would make her pleasure my utmost priority, with my own being secondary. But if she was willing, than oh god. What I wouldn’t give to feel her adorable little antennas running up and down the length of my shaft. I just wanna pet every inch of her body, and give her scritches on her tummy so she does that thing that fairies do where their wings spaz out. That’d just be so fucking hot. I’d probably end up cumming all over her, so it gets on her wings. But goddamn. I love those wings too much, that I’d personally lick off every last drop of cum, just to I have another opportunity to get as close to her gorgeous wings as possible.
          
          But if you just want to bang her, than you are a disgusting degenerate, and I hope you burn in the deepest pits of tartarus.

          Moguyacht copypasta

            Moguyacht copypasta started from 4chan

            Started from the /vt/ board on 4chan, the MoguYacht copypasta is a derange fantasy from an Okayu fan which involves an orgy on a yacht that ends with a murder spree. The video is then sent to Okayu as an “akasupa” ($100 dollar donation that vtubers read) so she can read it on stream.

            The story was obviously fake but its unhinged nature had made it iconic and often gets referenced within the vtuber community.

            I just earned fuck you money from the recent crypto-boom and GME options, and this is what I'm planning to do with it.
            
            First, I'm going to scout out all of the Japanese femboy voice actresses that I possibly can on Twitter, 2ch, and Instagram.(hell, I'll throw in a couple of girls too).I'll pay them all 100 grand to spend a week watching Okayu's streams and learning her speech patterns and demeanor. Then, I'm going to fly them all out to a yacht I'll have rented off the coast of Japan. I'll provide ungodly amounts of heroin, cocaine and LSD. I'll rig the ac system on the yacht to spew copious amounts of experimental aphrodisiacs,hormones, and THC-laced vapor all around the ship. When they arrive, I will direct Hollywood's best makeup artists and seamstresses to dress them all up as Okayu. They will match her exactly; they will walk, talk, and look like Okayu. 
            
            I will then activate the (((air conditioning))) and proceed to spend the next two weeks in a mindblowing, drug-addled megaorgy with all of my trained Okayu traps on the MoguYacht. We will suck, fuck, and cum in each other mindlessly in a cacophony of Okayu laughs, murmurs, and moans. The ship's floors will be absolutely coated with the semen of Okayu's perfect doppelgangers. There will be casualties, of course, but it's nothing that money can't take care of. I will make Epstein's island will look like abastion of purity compared to my Disneyland of degeneracy.
            
            At the end of those two weeks (or whenever we run out of drugs), the ship's computer will unlock an armory located at the boat's base, only known to me. Filled with immense fulfillment and post-rampage rage and lunacy,I will commit mass nekomata genocide and shoot up the entire ship. The ship will be equipped with several 360degree cameras to capture the entirety of this from all vantage points. I'm going to edit together a supercut of the entire experience and upload it as a torrent through Starlink (thanks Elon!), which I will then akasupa 9 times to Okayu herself before committing shotgun suicide. 
            
            You may call me a schizo and tell me to take my meds, but this is my dream and now there's nothing stopping me from achieving it. None of you would have the balls to see this through or do anything remotely like this if you made it this* rich. fuck you all and see you all in a month on LiveLeak, faggots.