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Storytime

Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.


I fucking masturbated to the zero suit samus amiibo

    "So I was playing super smash bros with a friend at my place. He brought his switch and we played some matches. My main is zero suit samus and yeah she pretty hot tho ngl. I played super smash bros on my 3Ds when I was younger and bought the Amiibo (which I couldn‘t use on a 3Ds unless I use an extra device). I never got to use it and almost forgot that it exists until my friend mentioned it and we put it on the switch. After he left I was starring on this Amibo and since my parents werent home I was like fuck it. I took it to the bathroom and fucking wanked my ding dong till I busted. Afterwards I felt like shit and had to share this beautiful story with anyone so why not on the internet to a bunch of strangers. Anyways have a great day"

    I was jealous of Mario and peach

      When I was 9 I was really jealous that Mario got to date Peach so to let my frustration out I turned on Mario Kart 64 and drove Mario off a cliff for 2 hours then went back to writing my fanfiction of me being Peach's bff and bf.

      Search Results Web results A Day In The Life Of Kanye West

        After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest. Then to school to take his Kanye Test. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Kanye Crest? His neighbor stole it, what a Kanye Pest.

        Watashi wa 👅 a 👌 victim of 💦 cyberbullying.

          Watashi wa 👅 a 👌 victim of 💦 cyberbullying. Everyday 🗓 someone 👤 online 💻 calls 🗣 me 😭 a 👌 "weeb" desu. 👌 Watashi won't 🚫 stand 💨 for 🍆 this. 👈 26 percent 🔟 of 💦 bullying 😂 victims are 🔢 chosen due to 💦 their 🍆 race 🖕 or 💁 religion 🕋 desu. 👌 I 👁 may 🗓 look 👀 like 💖 a 👌 basic 🚂 white 👱 boy, 👦 but 🍑 deep 😱 down 🔻 I 👁 am 👏 Nihongo desu. 👌 Watashi religion 🕋 is 💦 anime. 😹 Anata wa 👅 bullying 😂 me 😭 because 💁 of 💦 my 👨 race 🖕 and 👏 religion 🕋 desu 👌 ka? Disgusting 😝 desu. 👌 Anata should 💘 be 🐝 ashamed 😳 of 💦 yourself, 🙄 pig. A 👌 baka gaijin like 💖 anata is 💦 probably 😻 jealous 😒 of 💦 my 👨 race 🖕 and 👏 culture, cause 💋 Nippon is 💦 more 🍗 sugoi than 👉 your 👏 shitty 💩 country 🏃 desu. 👌 Watashi pity 😢 anata. You'll 👉 never 🙅 be 🐝 Nihongo like 💖 watashi. I'm 💘 a 👌 weeb? Pfft. I 👁 AM 👏 AN 👹 OTAKU DESU. 👌 Educate yourself 🙄 on 🔛 nani a 👌 "weeb" is 💦 before 😂 anata try 😐 to 💦 insult 😦 watashi desu. 👌 I 👁 WILL 👏 NOT 🚫 BE 🐝 CYBERBULLIED ANYMORE. 🔥 REPORTED.

Arigatou 💘 for my first gold💦 and silver🔥 , Stranger sama💋 👅

          “Mr. Shapiro, what are your thoughts on women’s rights to have an abortion?”

            Ben: "WELL, that's a very interesting QUESTION, SIR. Before I get started, did you know that my WIFE is a DOCTOR?"

Reporter: "...Mr. Shapiro, that's- not-"

Ben: "I didn't think so, LEFTIST. Now back to your question- 'should women be allowed to MURDER and SHOOT innocent BABIES and CHILDREN?"

Reporter: "Sir, that's not what my orig-"

Ben: "OBVIOUSLY not. Now according to PragerU UNIVERSITY, there once was a FARMER who had a DOG, and Bingo was his name-o. Do you know how to spell it?"

Reporter: (silence)

Ben: "B-I-N-G-O. And Bingo was his name-o."

(Stares reporter in the eye; has not blinked since the asked question)

"B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, And Bingo was his name-o."

Reporter: (Visibly taken aback) "Mr. Shapiro, this is ridiculo-"

(The conservative crowd begins laughing and shouting and singing with Ben)

All: "And Bingo was his name-o!"

(Ben shouting as the curtains close,) "Another CUCK LEFTIST DESTROYED! BAZINGA!"

            “Girlfriend baked all the beans”

              “My (25M) girlfriend 26F baked all the beans, now I consider to end our relations? What do I do?

Hello,

My girlfriend and me have done dating for 5 month. I thought "This girl is very good," and became of love with her.

Yet even so, on this Monday, I comed home and found she as baked all my beans.

Yes, all. Oh brother.

In my cupboard I store several bag of bean, to make soft and to bake on some days, to have a bit of baked bean on my dinner. Or, heck, a lunch too some days.

But on the Monday I find this girlfriend baked all the beans. I say "Why do you bake my beans", and she say something as "I bakes them good to save time, so I bakes them all now."

I am astonished and full of dissmay. I say "I canfr not eat all the beans", she say she is froze many of the beans so as we can unfrozen the on a later day and eat some at a time.

But, if a bean is froze and unfrozed, the very good and very nice flavor of bean is gone far.

A bean is best if baked fresh as a Sunday Pie. Not to be froze and unfroze!

I told my girfriend I am so sad of this, as to my opinion the baking of the beans and to freeze them has ruin all my beans. She say I am "gone haywire" by my enragement and sad manners.

But I hates what she did to my beans.

On the days before Monday I thought "Will we marry the girlfriend? Well it might be so."

But now I am so sad she baked them beans. I am consider to end our relations and not be the boyfriend and girlfriend any more. But, is my idea wrong? Could my girlfriend make promise to not bake the beans? I do not know what doing to do and how to feel forgiving on her.”