Skip to content

Storytime

Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.


Listen. I hate cleaning toilets just as much as the next guy.

    Listen. I hate cleaning toilets just as much as the next guy. But i have a trick. Listen closely. As I'm scrubbing the base of the toilet, i pretend i have a fetish for toilets. I know, sounds weird. But this works. Take your sponge and start moaning. This will enable your arousal senses. You will soon start to enjoy scrubbing away at it. I pretend my toilet is a big fat juicy badonkadonk and I'm giving it a feel. Visualize whatever you want. Soon you'll have urges to lick the toilet. Don't. Not yet. It isn't clean yet. Keep scrubbing away. Once your toilet is finally all nice and clean, go on, you deserve it.

    ANIMAL CROSSING [NSFW]

      Holy shit guys. I can't believe what just happened.
      
      For context, i'm 16M, my little sister is 5F. During quarantine, i've been playing a lot of Animal Crossing with her. We got a pretty cool world, she loves to play the game. So yesterday, she was playing it all alone in the living room, I went to take a peek, when i saw Isabelle on the screen. Holy shit. My cock got so fucking big. I could see the veins of my fat cock through my pants. I thought no one was home, so I started slapping the sausage to Isabelle on my little sister's screen. After 3 minutes i was about to cum. I could feel the thicc nut coming in Isabelle's tight inner dog pussy. When i could feel the cum coming, I heard footsteps behind me. Holy fuck. It was the fucking cleaning lady. I'm so fucking scared, what do i do? How do i explain i wasn't beating it to my sister but to Isabelle? Reddit, please give me some advice!

      Cum Balloon nsfw

        Cum balloon
        You and your friends are having a water balloon fight.
        Everyone is being splashed with water and having a good time.
        You, on the other hand have a more malicious agenda, you stayed
        inside relieving yourself whilst filling up 3 balloons to the brim.
        You step out on to the patio, strutting triumphantly into battle.
        You take aim at your first of 3 victims and fire. Bullseye!
        The first one hits Tim's head, drenching him in your sweet sticky love milk.
        Keith and Jake look in terror as Tim has been desecrated and you
        walk towards them with a sinister grin. Like clockwork, they scatter
        predictably, letting you land a hit on each of their heads.
        All of them lay on the ground crying, covered head to toe in your hunk spunk.
        You won this water balloon fight

        Is it possible to sleep with a man’s penis in your mouth all night long?

          The answer is Yes, I had a boyfriend that I did this with multiple times… at least three occasions that I can remember. Having a penis in my mouth is very soothing, like a pacifier to a baby.
          
          Here’s how it worked: he would lay on his side, and I would spoon around his knees with my head propped up by a pillow so that my face was even with his Cock. We would both be excited by it at the beginning so there was always an initial intense session resulting in an orgasm, and once that was out of the way we would drift off to sleep. He would lose his erection after that first orgasm, allowing me to snuggle up against him and just relax with his limp Cock filling my mouth. While I would gently suckle on him while drifting off, once I was asleep that stopped and my mouth would just hold his Cock while we slept.
          
          REM sleep causes erections, so several times during the night I would be woken up by the Cock in my mouth growing too big for my mouth to contain. (Sadly I’ve never mastered being able to deep throat.) Let me tell you, there is no greater feeling than the initial moment of confusion of crossing over from a dream into reality and realizing your mouth is actually full of Cock. Upon waking up I would start sucking again, which would lead to him cumming again, and then we would both drift off to sleep again, neither one of us having said a word. And then the whole cycle would repeat again and again until morning.
          
          Now the drawback to all this is that we were both having our REM cycle interrupted all night, and we would both be exhausted all the next day. As a result we didn’t do this all the time but saved it for a special treat. The memories of those nights and that feeling of waking up with my mouth full are some of the best sexual memories of my life.

          The bullies at your school keep making fun of your one inch penis

            You're so done. The bullies at your school keep making fun of your one inch penis in the locker rooms. You turn to them, eyes narrowing. They see the hurt and angry look in your eyes and start to tease you, asking if you're going to cry. You suddenly remember a gift that God gave you for these situations. You puff your chest up and fire a laser from one of your erect nipples. It hits one of them in the eye, going through their head. Brain matter explodes everywhere. The others look horrified as you start shooting more nipple lasers in their direction. You hit more vital spots. Blood, cum, and guts are all over the locker room now. You stop and look around.
            
            You've done it.
            
            They're dead.
            
            You're still not happy.
            
            You unzip your pants and get some fun in while their bodies are still warm. How do they like your one inch penis now?

            my son is a terrorist

              TL;DR my son is a Terrorist!
              
              I walked in on my son playing a video g* me, I was furious! He explained to me that he has to play this g* me called Counter Strike Global Offensive to kill Terrorists and prevent a Bomb from detonating! I was so proud of my patriotic and truly american son for killing these Terrorists that I forgave him for playing a video g* me!
              
              Nevertheless I was suspicious, it is a video g* me! I spied on him for about 30 minutes and then I saw it, I SAW IT!!! HE WAS PLAYING AS A TERRORIST, MY SON LIED TO ME. HE TRIED TO HIDE THAT HE LIKES KILLING PEOPLE AND THAT HE LIKES BLOWING EVERYTHING UP!!! He thought that he could trick me, but I know the truth about my son and g* mers:
              
              THEY ARE TERRORISTS and this g* me called Counter Strike Global Offensive is nothing but a hub to spread their believs and evil plans!
              
              Ban video games now! Save your children from this evil g* me!