Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
I've been in love with my sister for a long time, and today, something really interesting happened. Over the past few years, my sister and I have been hanging out a lot more and I developed a crush on her.
Today, we were just hanging out in a restaurant and things were getting really flirtatious. We could tell that we wanted each other and agreed to go back home to her bedroom. Apparently, she always had a crush on me as well.
When we arrived, she took off her pants. Her panties looked so sexy on her, I got rock hard immediately and took off my pants, my erection in full view of her. It was one of the hottest things I've done in my life. But then she took off her jacket. This is where the interesting stuff happens.
I noticed that she was wearing a shirt of the Champion brand, and if you flip the logo sideways, it sort of looks like a crewmate from the popular game, "Among Us" Immediately, my brain acted on it's own. I'm not sure what happened, but I couldn't stop it. With my hard cock fully visible, I screamed, "SUS!!!! SUS!!!!!!! AMONG US AMONG US!!!!!!!!!"
I couldn't believe what I had just said. My sister looked confused and startled. She asked if I was okay and I wanted to say yes, but my brain didn't listen. I yelled, "HOLY SHIT YOU'RE ACTING SUS WHY YOU ACTING SUS HOLY SHIT AMONG US AMONG US" My sister had terror in her eyes. She was terrified of me. But I couldn't stop.
I lunged at her. "YOU'RE SUS YOU NEED TO GET VOTED OUT WHY ARE YOU ACTING SUSSSSSS YOU'RE THE IMPOSTOR!!!!!!!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. With all her strength, she escaped my grasp and left the room. I yelled. "YOU'RE ACTING SUS RUNNING AWAY IS SUS ARE YOU GOING TO VENT? VENTING IS REALLY SUS YOU NEED TO BE VOTED OUT!!!!"
I chased after her but eventually she locked herself in the bathroom and I could hear her talking to what I think was 911. It's been 10 minutes and the cops are currently on the way. Any advice would be nice.
I just lost my virginity and said Poggers
Ok so we were flirting and he took of his pants and started to rub his bulge then he pulls his dick out, I dead ass said “ that’s pretty pog” he then broke up with me after we were done 💀
Today being Halloween, I decided to fuck with the major retard at school when I came out of science for break. He was dressed as Ash. Knowing this was going to happen, I brought a Mudkip doll. Thus I started the conversation, making sure no one saw me.
"So I heard you like Mudkips..."
"MUDKIPS? I LUUUUUUUUUUUUVE MUDKIPS."
"O RLY? So, would you ever fuck a Mudkips, that is.." (he cuts me off before I could said 'if you were a mudkips')
"OF COURSE."
"Well I just happen to have a Mudkips here, and..."
Before I finished the sentence, which would have resulted in me hitting him across the face with the doll, he grabbed it. In one swift motion his pants were down and he was violently humping it. Not to get between a man and his Mudkips I started to walk away, because there is no way I'd be caught wrestling a half-naked crazy guy humping a Mudkips.
Needless to say, within 5 to 10 seconds, some girls saw him and started screaming. I cooly walked into a restroom, pretending nothing had ever happened; not that I had intended that outcome, but now that it was in play I didn't want to be involved.
I came back out two minutes later, and like any wanton act on school grounds there was now a huge crowd around him. He was still fucking it and baying this real fucked up 'EEEEEEEEEEINNNNF EEEEEEEEEEINNNF' sound. Suddenly a scuffle broke out in the middle, meaning he probably did something stupid.
I asked someone what had happened. A girlfriend of one of the football players tried to get him to stop, but he bit her for trying to take it away. Someone called in a few football players (all dressed up like Road Warrior) who proceeded to pummel the shit out of the guy. Meanwhile the school police were freaking out and having trouble getting in to the situation.
A few minutes later the intruder alarm went off and we were all shuffled into classrooms. Over the intercom the principal announced that someone had thrown a flaming plush toy into the library. Uh.. what the hell.
So we were kept there and about 30 minutes later the principal came on again. This time he was saying that whoever was behind the beating should turn themselves in. All of a sudden this woman began yelling, "I WILL SUE YOU FOR DAMAGES. YOU LITTLE PUNKS, I'M GONNA SUE..." and it was cut off.
I asked an office later what had happened. Apparently his mother had come to pick him up and threatened to sue for the beating and 'whatever else happened.' The school threatened to counter-sue because of lewd conduct, inciting a riot, and starting a fight.
So I ask you: do u liek Mudkipz?
Every time I boot this "cock and ball torture simulator disguised as a game" up I age 60-70 years. I swear my eyes start seeing 144p or something once I make the tragic mistake of subjecting myself to the emotional assfucking that is Tarkov. I just went on a raid on woods to try and pitter patter over to daddy Prapor's circus parade float ambush or something? Idk I didn't read the task message. Only a bunch of clowns would get ambushed like that. Anyway I barely take 2 steps and an even older geriatric man fell asleep on his keyboard, and waddles Infront of me. Ezclap. Take 2 more steps and hear WW3 starting near the USEC camp....right where I need to go. Nades and 60 round magazines are a flyin. I think I heard an AC-130 at some point. So I thinks to myself, I'll just post up on this here rock and observe for a while then move in. I sat on that rock for 4 minutes just chilling. Don't see a single thing move, although I wouldn't be surprised if every pmc and player scav on the map walked into my view and I just didn't see them. After 4 minutes, the bush next to me one taps me with 995. First off, dude I have a PACA and dick helmet, overkill much? And second, this dude sat there, staring at me, for 4 minutes, wondering how the fuck I manged to wander out of hospice and get a gaming PC setup to just to support Nikita's juice addiction. Poor guy probably felt like he was executing their braindead grandpa or something.
Took a break for a while, came back and did a run with just an m9 and a single backup magazine, stuffed 3000 rupes into my butt to pay for extract and did a night raid. Booked it from spawn right towards the USEC camp aka gravity well, it seems every pmc spawning on that side of the map is instantly pulled into it. On my way, deadass run straight into two thicc boys. Like I was spooning one of them for a second, I got soaked from the sweat pouring off these guys. I have no idea how I didn't hear or see them until I was nut to butt with what I can only imagine are two TTVs who have been grinding this game everyday since wipe for their 0 viewers. I immediately shit myself, not that uncommon for a 90 year old tbh, and start weaving through bushes while reciting prayers from the Bible, Quran, even threw in some dank nasheeds for a second, I guess it worked because I didn't get hit once. I think they spent the entire GDP of Ethiopia worth of ammunition shooting at me. And of course I am fast as fuck boi with no gear, Chad thundercock and his butt buddy can't keep up, I take a long path and make it to the camp and ambush site with 10 minutes left, scoot over to the Uber driver and get my ass back to this shit hole of a barely upgraded hideout. Seriously I only need one more relay to build the ezbake oven so I can cook up some lunchboxes for that fatass Jager but I can't find it, I think they don't really exist and are a conspiracy Nikita made to keep us playing.
I think my grandkids are coming to see me today so that's nice, their dad said if I start ranting about "RMT hackers and Streets of Tarkov release date" they are putting me back in the old people's home.
So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.
Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.
At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.
While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.
Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!
Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.
I need your advice...
I have a 12 year old sister called Melisa but I started calling her Yui when I became an otaku when I was 15 and later, she became an anime fan when she was 11. Now I have done something so terrible that I can't sleep...
What happened is that I'm a lolicon, I like loli hentai... For a month, she saw me watching that hentai and then she investigated on the subject herself... I didn't know she was spying on me so I kept watching my degenerate shit unconcerned, until one day Yui called me Onii-Chan. I felt very shameful but everything got out of control when she started to moan like a loli to make fun of me... That cunt thought she was a loli. I didn't think much of it, until I started to think that... She could like me.
I know it's sickening but since incest is my fetish, I started to woo her and little by little, we fell in love... We even got to the point of kissing.
One night our parents weren't home she and I had sex... No joke, that was the best damn night of my life. We did it over and over again and I lost control of myself when she moaned and called me Onii-Chan. We were a couple in secret... Since she was 12, I never thought I'd get her pregnant...
She was at our grandparent's home when she sent me a message telling me that she was pregnant. I couldn't sleep that night and I didn't know what to do, I was considering making her have an abortion... I thought the protagonists in these stories were happy... Now I know how hard the life of two siblings who love each other with a 5 year age gap could be.
Yui has offered me to act like it was rape and I had nothing to do with it, but for some reason I can't accept it. I have until Monday to find a solution...
