Skip to content

Storytime

Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.


Wife wants to leave me

    your NFT your rules
    Wife wants to leave me

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT.

I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her.

I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend.

I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate.

We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling.

I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw.

Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.

    i accidentally shouted hog rider when i saw my wife getting humped by a black dude

      HOG RIDAAAA
      It was midnight, 12:23AM, i was feeling depressed while driving, i saw my phone notify me about collecting my daily coins in the gacha game i have been playing, since i am depressed

Depressed me went to the local mcdonalds and asked for the breakfast menu, the cashier said in a monotone voice

"we dont serve breakfast at midnight"

me, being depressed, just ordered a large whopper with medium sized fries and coke, i sat down waiting for my order, i patiently wait and wait as the time goes on

"here is your order sir"

i look at my burger, depressingly, and thought to myself

"wait this isnt coke, this is pineapple juice"

i stood and left the said local mcdonalds, slamming the window door, shattering it, while the cashier was terrified, as he screamed

"you're gonna pay for that!"

i drove back home, waiting to see my beautiful, loyal, and busty wife, i grab my keys depressingly and opened the door

"ohh yess"

i hear, a shiver was sent down my spine, i walked up the 2nd floor and the the moans started to get louder every step i take

i saw a shadow, moving up and down, my fear was getting to me, i depressingly walked to the door...

"micheal cum in my ass!"

then, my manly urge erupted, as they saw me, i was frozen in spot, i desperately wanted to move, but i cant, the black dude stared at me, waiting for my next turn

that manly urge, was getting to me, i cant hold it anymore

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOG RIDER"

      A liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer

        A liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor joke
        A liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist "Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

"How old is this rock?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian"

"Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now"

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi

        I just wooooshed my parents during my grandma’s death

          I just wooooshed my parents LETS GOOOOOO
          Hello there, So basically what happened was I was browsing through Reddit but then my parents (I posted them onto r/entitledparents cause that’s what heroes do) wanted me to go to the hospital to see my grandma one last time. I really didn’t want to but I decided to go since it’s basically free r/cringetopia karma (I need enough karma to post on r/dankmemes) so then at my grandma’s bed, she was saying cringe stuff like “I always loved the smile on your face, M13 (me)” or “I really want to see you again, I love you” so then I decided to say “ok boomer” (cause it would be free r/unexpected karma) but then she passed away. My cringe parents were talking about how disrespectful that was while they were crying (LOL CAUGHT IN 4K) so then I, M13 told them that they got busted onto r/entitledparents. I was then taken to the orphanage since my parents didn’t understand any of my memes (cringe parents don’t understand 21st century humor) but at least I got to show the other kids there my funny wholesome memes.

          What was your first pegging experience like?

            pegging copypasta
            My boyfriend expressed an interest in wanting to be pegged. I was very supportive but also intimidated because I don't have a lot of experience with ass play on men. But I went ahead and bought a 15 inch strap-on. It felt really strange to wear the dildo, like, awkward with this purple appendage protruding from my pelvis, pointed at my boyfriend’s poised ass. Once the dildo was inside, I checked in with him to make sure I wasn't hurting him, and he replied, 'Are you in all the way?' After I began thrusting, he said, 'I don't think this is working, it's not big enough!'”

            My son is addicted to “Nikocado Avocado Fart Porn”

              Nikocado Avocado fart porn copypasta
              Guys help something is going on with my son. So I(41M) have been having a lot of trouble with my son recently. It started out 3 months ago he would start randomly and loudly moaning during eating, he also often started rubbing and smearing the food on him. Then he also started randomly crying during eating. He also would masturbate and cum during eating and he also started going through my wife's (5F) and mine (63M) drawer and cumming in our underwear. Now this would all be normal after all he's a teenage boy and I did the same thing when I was his age. However what made me really caucious was when he started shitting in his hand and smearing it against him and when he would add the shit into his potato porridge and he would eat the whole thing. So I (68M) went looking around his room and wanted to look in his laptop to maybe find what was causing his strange behavior. I open a file titled as "Porn" and find numerous "Nikocado Avocado Fart Compilation" videos. Unfortunately I hear him coming back so I didn't want to be caught by him so I hide in the locker. Then I watch as he sits down and starts watching one of the videos and starts loudly moaning and masturbating and cumming while he is smearing against his body a yoghurt he brought for eating. I was extremely disgusted by this so I got out of the locker thinking I have to go to the toilet to vomit, however I didn't make it in time to the toilet and vomited all over his locker and room and ran out of his room. Now I am sitting here wondering how can I help my son, guys if any of you have any idea what to do please send help.