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Storytime

Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.


So as a joke, I went to my friend’s house wearing Pekora’s wig and clothes.

    The infamous Pekora copypasta

    Its the infamous Pekora copypasta that started from 4chan /vt/ board and became a meme. The original version contain numerous typo error which some users fixed themselves later on.

    So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Pekora's wig and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as a tomato and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yep peko."
    
    He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter peko?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Oh God, Pekora!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came.
    
    His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Pekora."

    Different formatting & typo fix

    So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Pekora's wig and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as a tomato and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made me feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yep peko." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter peko?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Oh God, Pekora!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'm still Pekora." 

    I’m Pomu

      So during my first smester in uni I met a pretty chill guy, he noticed that I watched vtubers and we bonded over that. I asked him who were his favorites and he named off a lot of male chuubas. I also listed some of mine and told him that probably my favorite one was Pomu. Eventually we became pretty close friends and did basically everything together. He started going to the gym with me, which shocked me a bit, because he is a pretty skinny guy. He really didn't have to work out, since he was blonde and had soft facial features, which made a lot of the girls and even some teachers have a crush on him. Even with all of this attention he remained single.
      
      As the months passed I noticed that he only came with me to the gym when we had leg day. But I didn't question him, I didn't want to sound like some gymrat. I also noticed that he started to let his hair grow, but then again a lot of people do duting uni.
      
      When Halloween came, I told him that I was gonna stay at home and just play smash, since was low on cash and couldn't afford a costume. He seemed pretty happy about that so we went with my plan.
      
      Even though I told him not to, he brought a couple of six packs of corona and also a bottle of vodka. Two hours in and we were already pretty drunk. He told me to wait for him and so I did.
      
      15 minutes passed and out of the bathroom I saw him come out. His face was flushed and he was wearing a Pomu cosplay. Trembling he just said "I'm Pomu", while gulped.
      
      I couldn't control myself. I got up and put my hand under his chin before I started kissing him. We made out for like 20 minutes straight, before he took off the dresss, only leaving him in the transparent and tight black bodysuit, as well as the blue ribbon on his head. I ripped the material and rubbed my cock against his soft meatbuns. Only until then I noticed just how soft and thick they were. My cock throbbed against his tight bussy and I could even see the bulge in her suit, as he just looked up to me, while panting.
      
      We used a whole box of condoms. It was already 3 am and I was breathing heavily in the room only lit by the screen that we forgot to turn off. He pulled my sleeve and I turned to him, only to see him pour my thick nut inside of his mouth.
      
      "Let's keep this as our secret, ok?" He said before we went to sleep and cuddled together

      Acabei de trair minha namorada no Ano Novo e acabei com tudo

        Eu vou contextualizar a história antes que vcs me julguem. Se quiserem julgar também, foda-se, já estraguei tudo nessa porra mesmo.
        
        Eu conheci minha namorada tem dois anos, ela era amiga de uma amiga minha muito próxima e que eu conheço desde o fundamental. Enfim, ela me apresentou minha futura namorada e a irmã da minha namorada num rolê e cara, minha namorada foi a pessoa mais especial que eu já conheci em toda minha vida. A gente se dava bem em tudo, em pouco tempo começamos a namorar e a gente planejava bastante o futuro juntos, casamento etc.
        
        O problema é que minha namorada sempre foi muito ciumenta e por coisa boba. Eu entendo que eu também posso ter sido tóxico as vezes, mas porra, ela passa do limite. Pra vcs terem uma ideia, ela mexia no meu celular, bloqueava meninas que não ia com a cara e tal. Recentemente uma garota do trabalho mandou msg falando sobre trampo e ela pegou meu cel e chamou a mina de vadia, isso deu um rolo desgraçado pra explicar no escritório, enfim. Dps desse episódio o namoro foi se desgastando cada vez mais até que a gente planejou de passar o Ano Novo juntos com a família dela.
        
        Eu nunca tive problemas com a família dela. Mora ela, a irmã, um irmão caçula, o pai e a mãe. Todos gostam de mim, mas uma pessoa em particular se destaca: a irmã dela. Uma coisa que eu esqueci de falar é que no começo quem se interessou por mim foi a irmã que é tão bonita quanto minha namorada, mas não fui com a cara dela pq preferi muito mais a personalidade da minha namorada, sabe. Enfim, isso na época até causou uma treta entre as duas pq elas têm mais ou menos a mesma idade e sempre competiram, desde criança pra ser a "filha preferida" até na escola e tal com namoradinhos e amizades. Minha namorada até tinha fama de roubar ficantes da irmã.
        
        Ontem as duas brigaram, eu estava mais ou menos brigado com a minha namorada e a irmã dela acredito q sempre quis se vingar da minha irmã q "roubava" os namorados dela... Acho que vcs já entenderam. Enfim, eu não sou um traidor, nunca nem pensei em trair minha namorada. Quando cheguei lá na casa dela, eles tinham ido ao mercado e quem me recebeu foi essa irmã, daí ela ficou conversando comigo com toque exagerado sabe, fazendo piadinhas, elogiando minha roupa pro final de ano, perguntou se eu tava malhando e tal. Ela fazia isso no começo, mas dps q comecei a ficar sério com a minha mina as duas brigaram feio e ela tinha parado. Fiquei desconfortável na hora e não aconteceu nada nesse período q ficaram fora.
        
        Acontece que agora durante a noite, eu já tinha tomado umas (muitas) e toda vez que minha namorada saia de perto a irmã voltava com essas gracinhas. As duas estavam se estranhando muito, minha namorada me dando patada do nada e a irmã dela sempre q podia tava sendo super simpática, prestativa, com um vestido q deixava ela gostosa pra krl. Cara, simplesmente chegou uma hora em que eu não consegui me segurar. EU FIQUEI MUITO CONFUSO, MUITO PISTOLA COM ESSA SITUAÇÃO TODA. Na primeira oportunidade que tive levantei, fui até o quarto do pai dela, me tranquei lá e fodi intensamente com o meu sogro. Eu comi aquele velho gostoso. Enquanto eu comia aquele rabo peludo, olhei pela janela do quarto de relance.
        
        Vi o que parecia ser uma aeronave não tripulada pequena passando rápido, logo atrás uma especie de exoesqueleto metálico armado com uma metralhadora, de repente, um estrondo ensurdecedor seguido de um clarão. Era o início da era das máquinas.

        I almost had sex earlier today

          Almost had sex earlier today
          I went to the supermarket earlier today, to buy some cheese and bacon, you know? So I went up to the girl working there and she said: "Good morning, how can I help you?"
          
          I couldn't believe this naughty bitch was offering herself to me at 7 am, but I managed to keep myself calm and said: "Good morning. I want 300g of mozzarella cheese and 300g of bacon please."
          
          She started working on my order, and after a while she came to me and said "Sir, I acidentally put 350g of cheese instead of 300g. Can I leave it or do you want me to take some off?"
          
          Holy fucking shit. I couldn't believe what this cum-addicted slut just said. She knew I only wanted 300g of cheese, but instead of giving me what I asked for she decided to try to have sex with me. I'm gonna explain it to you: what's the difference between 300g and 350g of cheese? That's right, 50 grams. What else has 50 grams? Yes, that's the average weight of a condom packaging, and also the average amount of sperm expelled during a sexual act. And worst of all, do you know which sentence has 50 letters? "Oh daddy please destroy my pussy and cum in my little slut ass".
          
          I was shocked at the audacity of this whore, but I was better than this. I told her to take a little bit of cheese off, and she said: "is 308g alright sir?" I was shaking and sharting at this point. I couldn't believe she was humiliating herself like this. Do you know what has 8 letters? "I love you". But I didn't love her, I didn't love this attention deprived thot back. So I just said: "I'm not going to give in to your schemes. You should value yourself more, you are better than this".
          
          As I was paying for my products at the cashier I could hear a great commotion, and I saw that the girl and all the other female employees were crying in unison. I left the supermarket knowing that I did the right thing.

          Growing up, I was fascinated with scat sex.

            Growing up, I was fascinated with scat sex. I used to download tonnes of scat movies and I always fantasised having a women shit on my body and in my mouth one day. After years of fantasising, I finally decided to pay for the professional escort Louise Hunter, who is well known for her scat movies. I turned up at her house and she seemed nice enough. She knew it was my first time experiencing scat, so she knew to take it slow. Louise had laid down some plastic on the floor in her living room, and lots of towels on top of that. I fucked her for a while, before laying on my back and letting her piss on my cock and stomach. Then she was about to start shitting and I asked if she could do it directly into my mouth. She happily shuffled backwards and started shitting in my mouth. As soon as the shit touched my tongue, I knew I had made a huge mistake. This was not how I imagined it would be, and at that moment I was simply a normal guy, on his back, with a women's shit in his mouth. The thing was I was too polite to tell her to stop. She had already told me she had had clients that asked her to stop and I didn't want to be one of them. So I stuck it out, and just let most of the shit fall off my lips onto the towel. I finished myself off by wanking onto her and then she let me take a shower to clean myself up before I left.
            
            I've never watched another scat movie since and I have no intention of trying it again.

            Łódź Bałuty

              Rok 2035
              Korea Północna jest w posiadaniu rakiety z głowicą nuklearną o zasięgu 40 000 km.
              'Generale Ping Pong, cel nowy jork'
              czerwonyguzik.gif
              Umierający z niedożywienia naukowiec źle podłączył klona ardiuno.
              Rakieta leci w drugą stronę.
              Cel: Łódź Bałuty.
              USA dalej nie dało tarczy.
              Rakieta w zasięgu radarów.
              Trzeba ostrzec mieszkańców.
              syrena.wav
              'GRAZYNA WYŁONCZ FAMILJADE JAKIEŚ ŚWIENTO JEST STÓJ NA BACZNOŚĆ MINUTA CISZY'
              Straty oszacowano na 32zł
              1. Rok 2035
              2. Korea Północna jest w posiadaniu rakiety z głowicą nuklearną o zasięgu 40 000 km.
              3. 'Generale Ping Pong, cel nowy jork'
              4. czerwonyguzik.gif
              5. Umierający z niedożywienia naukowiec źle podłączył klona ardiuno.
              6. Rakieta leci w drugą stronę.
              7. Cel: Łódź Bałuty.
              8. USA dalej nie dało tarczy.
              9. Rakieta w zasięgu radarów.
              10. Trzeba ostrzec mieszkańców.
              11. syrena.wav
              12. 'GRAZYNA WYŁONCZ FAMILJADE JAKIEŚ ŚWIENTO JEST STÓJ NA BACZNOŚĆ MINUTA CISZY'
              13. mielone.jpg
              14. Straty oszacowano na 32zł

              English Translation

              Year 2035
              North Korea has a missile with a nuclear warhead with a range of 40,000 km.
              'General Ping Pong, target new york'
              redbutton.gif
              A scientist dying of malnutrition miswired an Arduino clone.
              The rocket flies the other way.
              Destination: Lodz Bałuty.
              The US still didn't give the shield.
              Rocket within radar range.
              We need to warn the people.
              siren.wav
              'GRAZYNA WYŁONCZ FAMILJADE IT'S A HOLIDAY STAND ATTENTION A MINUTE OF SILENCE'
              Losses were estimated at PLN 32