Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
Rok 2035
Korea Północna jest w posiadaniu rakiety z głowicą nuklearną o zasięgu 40 000 km.
'Generale Ping Pong, cel nowy jork'
czerwonyguzik.gif
Umierający z niedożywienia naukowiec źle podłączył klona ardiuno.
Rakieta leci w drugą stronę.
Cel: Łódź Bałuty.
USA dalej nie dało tarczy.
Rakieta w zasięgu radarów.
Trzeba ostrzec mieszkańców.
syrena.wav
'GRAZYNA WYŁONCZ FAMILJADE JAKIEŚ ŚWIENTO JEST STÓJ NA BACZNOŚĆ MINUTA CISZY'
Straty oszacowano na 32zł
1. Rok 2035
2. Korea Północna jest w posiadaniu rakiety z głowicą nuklearną o zasięgu 40 000 km.
3. 'Generale Ping Pong, cel nowy jork'
4. czerwonyguzik.gif
5. Umierający z niedożywienia naukowiec źle podłączył klona ardiuno.
6. Rakieta leci w drugą stronę.
7. Cel: Łódź Bałuty.
8. USA dalej nie dało tarczy.
9. Rakieta w zasięgu radarów.
10. Trzeba ostrzec mieszkańców.
11. syrena.wav
12. 'GRAZYNA WYŁONCZ FAMILJADE JAKIEŚ ŚWIENTO JEST STÓJ NA BACZNOŚĆ MINUTA CISZY'
13. mielone.jpg
14. Straty oszacowano na 32zł
English Translation
Year 2035
North Korea has a missile with a nuclear warhead with a range of 40,000 km.
'General Ping Pong, target new york'
redbutton.gif
A scientist dying of malnutrition miswired an Arduino clone.
The rocket flies the other way.
Destination: Lodz Bałuty.
The US still didn't give the shield.
Rocket within radar range.
We need to warn the people.
siren.wav
'GRAZYNA WYŁONCZ FAMILJADE IT'S A HOLIDAY STAND ATTENTION A MINUTE OF SILENCE'
Losses were estimated at PLN 32
As a teen I once went to the beach with my family on a hot summer day. When I was eating ice cream I noticed there was a 4/5 chick with big boobs sunbathing. I got so horny that I needed to jack off immediately.
I changed to my swimwear and swam under a pier where no one could see me. I masturbated there for a while.
While I'm busting it I hear screaming from the beach but I'm so horny I don't care.
When I was climaxing a loud siren gets close. When I come I get out of my hiding spot. On the beach are a firetruck, police car and an ambulance.
I fear someone has died, so I get to the beach fast. I see my parents speaking to a police officer. They notice me and just bolt in my direction.
My mom hugs and kisses me. I'm like wtf man. I ask them and they say that they thought I had drowned, so they called 911.
There I stand, everyone watching me in silence with my still erect penis protruding from my pants.
I'm on a throwaway since I don't want to talk about this on my main. So about a week ago my wife told me she thought the idea of eating my asshole was hot and she wanted to do it. I thought that was kind of weird so I laughed and said I guess we can try it but I asked her what was do hot about it and either some gentle prodding I got to the heart of the issue. She wanted to try eating my shit.
I love my wife so, so much. We've been married for 6 years, have two beautiful children and a wonderful life together. I figured that I could at least try it even though the thought makes me squeamish. For her. She definitely does sexual things (albeit a bit more "normal" things) for me that don't really get her off so I thought what's the harm?
Well she took the kids to her moms house yesterday and told me to shower. I showed and she had a drink for me when I got out. I drank a couple more then we went to the bathroom and got naked and she laid in the tub (for easy cleanup) and I crouched over her with my asshole exposed. She started kissing and licking it while rubbing my cock which honestly was not unpleasant. Then it got a bit weird. She was moaning and playing with herself while eating my ass then she moaned "Feed me baby. I want your shit. I want it all." I tried to poop but it was really weird and uncomfortable. Right as I started to feel it slipping out I heard her moan "Fuck yes!" then she sucked the small piece of shit right out of my asshole and started eating it. I felt so gross and uncomfortable that I honestly almost started crying. I watched the mother of my children and the woman I love suck a nugget of shit out of my ass and eat it. It was one of the most disgusting experiences of my life and I need to talk to her because she texted me today that she wants to eat more of my "special brownies" and I haven't responded. I'm going to have to sit her down and tell her I don't think I can ever do that again.
Juro que tudo o que ela faz o dia todo é se masturbar e se masturbar, parece que ela está misturando macarrão com queijo e você pode ouvir isso pela porra da casa inteira. Minha mãe tem reclamado com ela, mas minha irmã começou a falar cada vez mais alto. A pior parte é que meu computador está no quarto dela e todos os dias eu tenho que ir lá e vê-la simplesmente DEMOLINDO sua buceta de forma frenética, sucos brancos voando por toda parte! e então eu digo "Ei, talvez pegue uma toalha para se limpar pelo menos", MAS AQUELA VADIA APENAS ME IGNOROU. Eu não suporto viver aqui honestamente. Ontem, quando fui usar meu computador, ele estava absolutamente encharcado dos sucos nojentos dela, quase deu um curto-circuito, e ela manchou pelo menos 6 das minhas camisas até agora. E todos os meus amigos da escola me provocam, "haha haha Tobias tem a porra da irmã na camisa dele", "Girlcum Tobias" se tornou meu apelido. Eu odeio isso!
Ok so I'm pretty new to this whole dating thing, there's this girl I really like in my math class and I wanted to be her boyfriend, there's these really cool guys in grade 9 and they have sex about five times a day, they say that girls love it when boys show them their penis.
So in my next math class I stole a seat next to her and stared at her boobs, I became erection and pulled it out through the fly of my pants, as I was about to tap her on the shoulder so she could see my penis, this other girl that has no boobs and is ugly screamed “oh my god!", screaming and pointing at my penis.
I stood up to tell her to shut up and go away, but my penis was still hanging out from my pants, all the class was looking at it, I didn't want them to see my penis because it meant I would have to have sex with everybody in the room. I tried to make things right by swooping over to the girl like and bringing my penis up to her face close up, this made it clear that I wanted her to see my penis and not the rest of the class.
She screamed and tried to stab me with a pen, but she missed and stuck it up my bum, it felt really good, and some weird clear goo shat out from my penis and hit her in the face, she ran out of the room exiting and I got sent to the office.
My penis was caught in my zipper, $0 had to leave it hanging out therefor a while longer, but then classes ended and everybody entered the hallway, everybody saw my penis, and I now have to have sex with the entire school
I don't understand what happen, why are ufly girls so nosy, and why did the girl I like run away? Is my penis very small, I do not understand.
I was ready to kill myself, I had the suicide note ready and everything. Before heading out to buy some rope for a hangmans noose I suddenly had the urge to shit and figured, why the hell not, one last shit wouldn't hurt. Sat down on the toilet and opened up twitter since I always get bored on the toilet. Saw a funny thread, liked it, and shared it with the only real friend I have.
After taking a shit I realised I no longer had the urge to buy the rope. My 'post-shit clarity' came to my senses and I started thinking about all the things I would leave behind like my siblings, my friends, and my dog and rabbit, and how distraught they would be if I went through with my actions.
No longer do I feel the need to kill myself. Although I may not have much to live for, I would still be leaving behind friends and family, so I will keep trying my best to make them proud.
Thank you, poop.
