Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
Ok so I'm pretty new to this whole dating thing, there's this girl I really like in my math class and I wanted to be her boyfriend, there's these really cool guys in grade 9 and they have sex about five times a day, they say that girls love it when boys show them their penis.
So in my next math class I stole a seat next to her and stared at her boobs, I became erection and pulled it out through the fly of my pants, as I was about to tap her on the shoulder so she could see my penis, this other girl that has no boobs and is ugly screamed “oh my god!", screaming and pointing at my penis.
I stood up to tell her to shut up and go away, but my penis was still hanging out from my pants, all the class was looking at it, I didn't want them to see my penis because it meant I would have to have sex with everybody in the room. I tried to make things right by swooping over to the girl like and bringing my penis up to her face close up, this made it clear that I wanted her to see my penis and not the rest of the class.
She screamed and tried to stab me with a pen, but she missed and stuck it up my bum, it felt really good, and some weird clear goo shat out from my penis and hit her in the face, she ran out of the room exiting and I got sent to the office.
My penis was caught in my zipper, $0 had to leave it hanging out therefor a while longer, but then classes ended and everybody entered the hallway, everybody saw my penis, and I now have to have sex with the entire school
I don't understand what happen, why are ufly girls so nosy, and why did the girl I like run away? Is my penis very small, I do not understand.
I was ready to kill myself, I had the suicide note ready and everything. Before heading out to buy some rope for a hangmans noose I suddenly had the urge to shit and figured, why the hell not, one last shit wouldn't hurt. Sat down on the toilet and opened up twitter since I always get bored on the toilet. Saw a funny thread, liked it, and shared it with the only real friend I have.
After taking a shit I realised I no longer had the urge to buy the rope. My 'post-shit clarity' came to my senses and I started thinking about all the things I would leave behind like my siblings, my friends, and my dog and rabbit, and how distraught they would be if I went through with my actions.
No longer do I feel the need to kill myself. Although I may not have much to live for, I would still be leaving behind friends and family, so I will keep trying my best to make them proud.
Thank you, poop.
Lá estava eu, novamente sentado assistindo ao culto, quando notei que havia uma contenda entre o pastor e a pastora, os quais eram casados. Provavelmente tiveram alguma briga naquele dia e inevitavelmente não puderam esconder a fervorosa e raivosa troca de olhares durante o culto. O nível de estresse dos dois era altíssimo e eu pude captar isso de longe.
Assim que o culto acabou, fui rapidamente ao púlpito e disse aos presbíteros da igreja que eu precisava falar com a pastora sobre um assunto urgente. Afirmei aos presbíteros que era um assunto que deveria ser tratado somente com ela, e ainda acrescentei que era sobre uma revelação divina que deus tinha me dado sobre a vida dela.
Pedi à pastora que ficássemos à sós e ela aceitou. Trancou-se comigo na sala de orações dela. Lá dentro eu expliquei que tive uma revelação divina sobre a briga dela com o marido e deus havia mandado eu comer o cu dela em cima do púlpito para aliviar o estresse gerado pela briga. Ela imediatamente disse ter amado a proposta, deu graças a deus e concordou que aquilo seria altamente benéfico para apaziguar a situação e aliviar o estresse. Mas, ela preferiu que o ato fosse feito em sigilo, pois poderia parecer algo "profano" diante dos demais fiéis. Demos um aperto de mãos, entramos em um consenso e começamos.
Assim que eu tirei o pau pra fora, ela já começou a dar graças a deus e caiu de boca no mesmo instante. Dava pra ver que o estresse dela já havia diminuído 75,7% só com aquela mamada. Ela dava glórias e glórias nas alturas enquanto gemia muito alto e rebolava no meu pau. Jamais imaginaria uma pastora rebolando tão bem como ela fez. Parecia até uma dançarina de funk. Nos beijamos muito, ela lambuzou meu pau de tanto que mamou e, por fim, gozei tanto, que a sujei as paredes, o cabelo dela, os peitos, a roupa toda dela, bem como a bíblia do marido. Ela deu uma risadinha e disse que estava tudo bem, enquanto lambia até as paredes para engolir toda a porra que disseminei pelo local.
Após isso, ela saiu toda descabelada, e eu, com o pau mais duro que a haste da bandeira do Brasil da Praça dos Três Poderes. Era tão difícil esconder, que usei a bíblia para tentar cobrir a haste erguida.
Ela saiu com os olhos revirados de tanto prazer que sentiu, respiração ofegante, cabelo todo bagunçado, descalça (pois já nem conseguia se equilibrar nos saltos) e me implorando para fazer aquilo de novo.
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There I was, again sitting watching the service, when I noticed that there was a quarrel between the pastor and the pastor, who were married. They probably had a fight that day and inevitably couldn't hide the fervent and angry exchange of glances during the service. The stress level of the two was very high and I could see it from afar.
As soon as the service was over, I quickly went to the pulpit and told the elders of the church that I needed to speak with the pastor about an urgent matter. I assured the elders that it was a matter that should be dealt with only with her, and even added that it was about a divine revelation that God had given me about her life.
I asked the pastor to be alone and she accepted. She locked herself with me in her prayer room. Inside I explained that I had a divine revelation about her fight with her husband and God had told me to eat her ass on top of the pulpit to relieve the stress generated by the fight. She immediately said that she loved the proposal, thanked God and agreed that it would be highly beneficial in defusing the situation and relieving stress. But, she preferred that the act be done in secrecy, because it could seem something "profane" in front of the other faithful. We shook hands, came to a consensus, and got started.
As soon as I took the dick out, she already started to give thanks to God and immediately fell out of her mouth. You could see that her stress had already decreased by 75.7% just with that feeding. She gave glories and glories in the heights while moaning very loudly and wiggling on my cock. I would never have imagined a shepherdess wiggling as well as she did. She even looked like a funk dancer. We kissed a lot, she smeared my dick so much she sucked and, finally, I came so much, that I soiled the walls, her hair, her breasts, all her clothes, as well as her husband's bible. She giggled and said it was okay, as she licked up the walls to swallow all the cum that spread around the place.
After that, she came out all disheveled, and I, with a dick harder than the flagpole of Brazil in Praça dos Três Poderes. It was so difficult to hide that I used the bible to try to cover the upraised rod.
She left with her eyes rolled back from the pleasure she felt, breathing heavily, hair all messed up, barefoot (because she couldn't even balance on her heels anymore) and begging me to do it again.
sem meme, vou mandar o pprt tava marcado pra no FDS (final de semana) eu ir pra cg (capital) dar um look no meu vô que tava miado healando no hospital (mto noggers), aí eu fui e mandei "segue a call meu velho, se quiser quitar tá tranks que nois segura pq tamo na vantagem e temo ult" aí eu já aproveitei que tava lá e como sou alpha minded já larguei o beta spirit e fui na house da minha mina aí eu tava lá no kekw com o dick na pussy e recebo uma call midlane, era minha tia que disse "seu vô não tankou a gankada e foi de base" aí foi omegalul total no dia seguinte já loguei no enterro e vi que meu vô não ia dar respawn e o padre já lançou "ele era based e mto sigma" e eu fiquei tipo "slk hablou muito poggers dms" no final foi meio gore e cringe mas eu tankei pq não sou bluepill
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no meme, I'm going to send the pprt it was scheduled for the FDS (weekend) I went to cg (capital) to take a look at my grandpa who was meowing healing at the hospital (too noggers), so I went and said "follow the call old man, if you want to get rid of it, it's tranks that we hold because we are in the advantage and I fear ult" then I took advantage of being there and as I'm alpha minded I already dropped the beta spirit and went to my girl's house there I was there at kekw with dick at pussy and i get a call midlane, it was my aunt who said "your grandpa didn't tank the gankada and went with base" then it was total omegalul the next day i already logged in to the funeral and saw that my grandpa wasn't going to respawn and the priest already released "he was based and a lot of sigma" and I was like "slk spoke a lot of poggers dms" in the end it was kind of gore and cringe but I tanked because I'm not bluepill
Does the pope shit in his hat?
I don't know if he shits in his own hat, but he's shit in mine quite a few times. I don't know how or why he does it, but at least a couple times a year, I'll be in my apartment by myself, just living my life, and all of a sudden I'll hear this loud moan followed by giggling and an absolutely horrific smell. At this point I know it's him once I hear the moan, so I get up to try to catch him, but before I can, he's already in the front doorway giving me this stupid smirk. I always try to reach out and grab him, but he just winks and runs off to the Popemobile idling outside.
Just to be clear, I live in Chicago, not the Vatican, and as far as I can tell, he's coming out here just to shit in my hat. There are no big news stories about him visiting or anything like that, but there is a page in an official Vatican site that shows his travel schedule and it always says he had to make a brief visit for "holy administrative purposes". It's also worth noting that he's in full the full Pope outfit when he does this, so it's pretty impressive that he can move as fast as he does, especially considering his age.
We’ve been dating for several months and I finally asked the question and she agreed! So I bought condoms from the market and she came over to my place. We played video games and after I won the last match she said she was ready so we both went to my room and we did the deed. It was awkward at first and I didn’t last long 😅but it was overall enjoyable for both of us, and we cuddle together naked and it felt great.
After the cuddling I took my schizophrenia pills along with some water. I turned back and strangely she was gone and all there was, was a body pillow with a hole cut in it.
Oh well she must be busy but yeah today was a great day :P
