Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
Why I Will Never Use Linux Again
here is what happened when i installed linux for the first, and hopefully last time. i tried installing it and it didn't go well, so i did what any right-minded person would do and went back to windows. when i was walking home from work that night, Linus Turdvault suddenly approached me. he cornered me in an alley and told me to give him all of my lunch money. i was saving that money to buy Bloomberry Ice Cream tomorrow. so i told the creep to back off, and he called me a normie. then he blew on his viking war horn, prompting all of his fat ugly little penguin minions to corner me and start punching me in the stomach. i begged and pleaded for them to stop but every time they would just chant "user root is not allowed to execute" in unison. it was literally bone-chilling.
i blacked out. when i woke up my galaxy z fold 5 was on the ground in pieces, my 80 dollars was gone from my wallet and the words "skill issue" were written on the pavement in my own blood
pls share to spread awareness
>using linux in front of class mates
>teacher says "Ok students, now open photoshop"
>start furiously typing away at terminal to install Wine
>Errors out the ass
>Everyone else has already started their classwork
>I start to sweat
>Install GIMP
>"Umm...what the fuck is THAT anon?" a girl next to me asks
>I tell her its GIMP and can do everything that photoshop does and IT'S FREE!
>"Ok class, now draw use the shape tool to draw a circle!" the teacher says
>I fucking break down and cry and run out of the class
>I get beat up in the parking lot after school
I was making oatmeal this morning when I slipped and spilled it all over the floor. As I panic and scream, my 2 year old son says to me “Mother, fret not over spilt and soured dreams, for failure is the time-bending compass which guides us back to where we should have been. To remain here rather than follow it, would be to to stagnate.” My little kiddo is such a genius. 🥹
My best bro Jeff turned himself into a femboy, he calls himself Crystal. Yesterday we were PVPing in Minecraft and everytime I hit him he moaned quietly, after some time I told him to stop, even though I was hard as fuck by then. He said "Tee hee, fine I'll stop b-baka(he likes japanese cartoons and comic books), look at me now." I minimized the Minecraft window and my jaw dropped, there it was on my screen. Jeff's asshole, he streamed it to me on discord, the quality was pretty good for a webcam.
My girlfriend walked into the room. Thankfully my reflexes were good enough after all those years of masturbation, I quickly minimized discord window. My gf looked me in the eyes and said "Was there your buddy Jeff's asshole on the screen just now?" Oh no, I wasn't quick enough. "Honey, it's not Jeff, it's Crystal" I mumbled. "What the fuck? It's totally Jeff, I would recognise his asshole anytim-" she stopped herself "Anyway, we are breaking up, you cheating scum!" my gf yelled and left. "Damn, bro, you ended my relationship" I said into the mic sadly. His response was "Ok, wanna fuck?"
So, Reddit, should I? uhmmm... auughhummmm.... do the thinggg??? 🧐😩🤔 I crave some bussy, but it is NNN after all...
I've been playing Bloodborne for the last 3 weeks and have noticed significant changes in my personality. I recently went for a stroll around my college campus and encountered a flock of fraternity boys, and couldn't help thinking that I could completely rock their shit with my moonlight great-sword. Similarly, in class as my professor was handing me an assignment, I upped my pistol and shot him within the parry window, however, there was no time for a visceral, he just collapsed unfortunately. I am writing this reddit post from a state penitentiary, and all i have left to say is, these other inmates about to fear the old blood.
I have an autistic shut-in girlfriend. It's great.
She has no friends. Zero. She wears no makeup. She spends her free time writing erotic fanfiction and other teenage girl crap even though she's close to 30 now.
She's attracted to vampires and werewolves and dragons and weird stuff like that. This is another reason I know she'll never leave me unless I abuse her or give her an actual REASON to. She's not attracted to humans.
She let me fuck her whenever I want because she loves and cares about me and because she enjoys the physical act of sex but she fantasizes that I'm something else other than human when I fuck her. I don't mind. Whatever makes her happy.
I'm aware of how this relationship sounds but she's assured me that she wants to be with me. I've told her that she doesn't have to have sex with me in order to stay with me but she wants to. We sleep in separate bedrooms because she wants her own space and I can't stand sleeping with someone.
Our relationship is weird but it works. To be honest I don't like women. I don't hate them but I just don't find them appealing or interesting at all. My girlfriend doesn't look or act like a woman though which is great for me. She owns 4 pairs of shoes (one for summer, one for winter, and a spare of each).
She's like a shut-in bro who shares most of my hobbies and interests, one of them being sex. I really can't imagine a better relationship.
