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Simp

Copypasta related to simp or simp culture which means a person who goes above and beyond for someone else in hopes of a romantic relationship.


Female Flame Atronach from Oblivion

    Flame Atronach in the Oblivion Remastered

    Its an infamous old copypasta about sexing the Flame Atronach from Oblivion. It originally came from an anonymous comment on a NSFW artwork of the Flame Atronach on R34 site back in 2012. The comment got reposted everywhere and eventually became a meme within the Elder Scrolls community.

    The released of Oblivion Remastered has reignited its popularity.

    I am going to have sex with this female Flame Atronach from Oblivion. I find the Flame Atronaches in The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion sexy. However, their body is made up of 87% fire, and 100% fire surrounds them. That could kill me if I tried to have sex with one. To remedy this, the Flame Atronach casts a spell on me making me resistant to fire. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points of damage each second I am having sex with her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, it just means I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with this Flame Atronach. I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with-especially non-humans! I'd rather take damage than not pleasure the Flame Atronach. The Flame Atronach and I go to the Planes of Oblivion to have sex. When having sex with non-humans, it is ALWAYS sexier to have sex in their natural habitat rather than a human's natural habitat. The Planes of Oblivion is the Flame Atronach's natural habitat.

    Original full version

    Flame Atronach copypasta
    Old atronach
    I am going to have sex with this female Flame Atronach from Oblivion. I find the female Atronaches in The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion sexy. However, their body is made up of 87% fire, and 100% fire surrounds them. That could kill me if I tried to have sex with one. To remedy this, the Flame Atronach casts a spell on me making me resistant to fire. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points of damage each second I am having sex with her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, It just means that I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with this Flame Atronach, I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with, especially non-humans! I'd rather take damage than not pleasure the Flame Atronach.The Flame Atronach and I go to the Planes of Oblivion to have sex. When having sex with non-humans, it is ALWAYS sexier to have sex in their natural habitat rather than a human's natural habitat.Before we went into the Planes of Oblivion, the Flame Atronach let all the Daedra know that we are just here for sex. The Daedra will not attack us because they know I am here at the Planes of Oblivion on sexual business. This includes the Dremora. However, the Dremora Marknyaz thinks that I am going to be an easy recruit for becoming a follower of Mehrunes Dagon considering that I am having sex with a Flame Atronach. However, I have no interest in becoming a Daedra.
    New remastered atronach
    I am going to have sex with this female Flame Atronach from Oblivion. I find the female Atronaches in The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion sexy. However, their body is made up of 87% fire, and 100% fire surrounds them. That could kill me if I tried to have sex with one. To remedy this, the Flame Atronach casts a spell on me making me resistant to fire. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points of damage each second I am having sex with her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, It just means that I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with this Flame Atronach, I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with, especially non-humans! I'd rather take damage than not pleasure the Flame Atronach.

The Flame Atronach and I go to the Planes of Oblivion to have sex. When having sex with non-humans, it is ALWAYS sexier to have sex in their natural habitat rather than a human's natural habitat.

Before we went into the Planes of Oblivion, the Flame Atronach let all the Daedra know that we are just here for sex. The Daedra will not attack us because they know I am here at the Planes of Oblivion on sexual business. This includes the Dremora. However, the Dremora Marknyaz thinks that I am going to be an easy recruit for becoming a follower of Mehrunes Dagon considering that I am having sex with a Flame Atronach. However, I have no interest in becoming a Daedra.

    Flame Atronach (Good ending)

    Good ending for the Flame Atronach meme
    Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flame Atronach is objectively the most huggable Daedroth? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of cake, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm Mortal and Flame Cloak, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.


    When I saw this scene, I felt an envy I couldn’t control… Seeing such a beautiful woman with that gaze

      Atom Eve copypasta

      Started from someone’s FB post about the sex scene between Mark and Eve in the finale of Invincible S3. The comment became a meme and fans has adapted it to various other characters in show.

      When I saw this scene in the last episode of Invincible, I felt an envy I couldn't control… Seeing such a beautiful woman with that gaze, wanting to feel the whole being of someone like Mark, filled me with rage… I deserve someone like that too, someone who looks at me with those eyes and wants to give me all the love possible, just look… Just tell me you don't feel envy or something in this scene? I'm not criticizing Mark; he seems like a great guy, but I don't know, Eve deserves someone better, someone like me.

      Mommy needs you to caramelized these onions for her okay kitten

        Mommy needs her onion copypasta

        Started from a Tumblr post following the POV of a “mommy” talking to her “kitten”. Its also known as the Mommy needs her onion copypasta and has been voiced by Numi (Vtuber) in one of her streams.

        Alright kitten listen up cause mommy needs your help here okay. Pause the game, ok-PAUSE the game for mommy okay I need your eyes up here, kitten. I'm putting these onions in this pan okay and im gonna walk out the door yes, that's right mommy's gotta go right now mommy's gotta go for 8 hours but she needs these onions caramelized by the time she gets bac-STOP LOOKING AT THE COMPUTER mommy needs you to caramelized these onions for her okay kitten mommy needs all 5 pounds perfectly caramelized and cooked down till they're all evenly brown and sweet and YES it does need to take the whole 8 hours mommy needs you to babysit these fucking carmies okay kitten I SAID TURN THE FUCKING GAME OFF

        y-you want a b-boyfriend?!😳

          y-you want a b-boyfriend?!😳
(thoughts: this is my chance! ok-ok calm down pal, don’t mess this up!🫡)
w-well~😰i thought maybe… maybe i could be your boyfriend~?🤭🫣 
*blushes and scratches back of his head*
i mean… if you don’t wanna date me its ok…😥 i-im used to being rejected…😔 b-but why not give it a try r-right?🥺🫣
*laughs nervously*
(thoughts: please-please say yes!👏🙏🥺)
          y-you want a b-boyfriend?!😳 (thoughts: this is my chance! ok-ok calm down pal, don’t mess this up!🫡) w-well~😰i thought maybe… maybe i could be your boyfriend~?🤭🫣 blushes and scratches back of his head i mean… if you don’t wanna date me its ok…😥 i-im used to being rejected…😔 b-but why not give it a try r-right?🥺🫣 laughs nervously (thoughts: please-please say yes!👏🙏🥺)

          Ember… honey, my pookie bear

            Its the “Lebron my pookie bear” copypasta but changed to Brawlhalla characters.

            Ember

            Boy oh boy where do I even begin. Ember... honey, my pookie bear. I have loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you. The way you leap through the air and strike fear into your enemies' eyes. Your silky smooth bow shots, and that gorgeous signature attack. I would do anything for you. I wish it were possible to freeze time so I would never have to watch you be nerfed.

You had a rough journey, but you never gave up hope. You are even amazing outside the battlefield, you're a free spirit and a fierce hunter, sometimes I even call you my queen. I forever dread and weep, thinking of the day you will one day be outclassed in the meta. I would sacrifice my own life if it were the only thing that could put a smile on your beautiful face.

You have given me so much joy, and heartbreak over the years. I remember when you first dominated the ranks, and it was like my heart soared with pride. But a tear still fell from my right eye when I saw you get hit with nerfs, because deep down, my glorious huntress deserved better. I just wanted you to rise again. Then, alas, you did—my sweet elven queen, with your bow and katars sharper than ever, and I rejoiced.

The journey was tough, my love, but you never faltered. You soared through the battlefield, dodging, weaving, striking with precision. You made history happen with every gravity-canceled down-light into a perfect read. You overcame the odds, defied the tier lists, and I couldn't believe it.

I was crying, bawling even, and I heard my glorious queen unleash her battle cry. Not only have you changed the game of Brawlhalla and the world forever, but you've eternally changed my world. And now you're in more tournaments, still the goat, my goat. I love you, pookie bear, my glorious queen, Ember.

            Yumiko

            Boy oh boy where do I even begin. Yumiko... honey, my pookie fox. I have loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you. The way you leap through the air and strike fear into your enemies' eyes. Your silky smooth bow shots, and that gorgeous signature attack. I would do anything for you. I wish it were possible to freeze time so I would never have to watch you be nerfed.

You had a rough journey, but you never gave up hope. You are even amazing outside the battlefield, you're a free spirit and a fierce hunter, sometimes I even call you my queen. I forever dread and weep, thinking of the day you will one day be outclassed in the meta. I would sacrifice my own life if it were the only thing that could put a smile on your beautiful face.

You have given me so much joy, and heartbreak over the years. I remember when you first dominated the ranks, and it was like my heart soared with pride. But a tear still fell from my right eye when I saw you get hit with nerfs, because deep down, my glorious huntress deserved better. I just wanted you to rise again. Then, alas, you did—my sweet fox lady, with your bow and hammer sharper than ever, and I rejoiced.

The journey was tough, my love, but you never faltered. You soared through the battlefield, dodging, weaving, striking with precision. You made history happen with every gravity-canceled down-light into a perfect read. You overcame the odds, defied the tier lists, and I couldn't believe it.

I was crying, bawling even, and I heard my glorious queen unleash her battle cry. Not only have you changed the game of Brawlhalla and the world forever, but you've eternally changed my world. And now you're in more tournaments, still the goat, my goat. I love you, pookie fox, my glorious queen, Yumiko.

            Priya

            Boy oh boy where do I even begin. Priya... honey, my pookie bear. I have loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you. The way you leap through the air and strike fear into your enemies' eyes. Your silky smooth chakram reads, and that gorgeous signature attack. I would do anything for you. I wish it were possible to freeze time so I would never have to watch you be nerfed.

You had a rough journey, but you never gave up hope. You are even amazing outside the battlefield, you're a free spirit and a fierce warrior, sometimes I even call you my queen. I forever dread and weep, thinking of the day you will one day be outclassed in the meta. I would sacrifice my own life if it were the only thing that could put a smile on your beautiful face.

You have given me so much joy, and heartbreak over the days. I remember when you first got released on the dev stream and you sig spammed on everyone, and it was like my heart soared with pride. But a tear still fell from my right eye when I realised that you will get hit with nerfs soon, because deep down, my glorious jiggle warrior deserved better. I just wanted you to rise again. Then, alas, you did—my sweet lotus queen, with your chakram and sword sharper than ever, and I rejoiced.

The journey was tough, my love, but you never faltered. You soared through the battlefield, dodging, weaving, striking with precision. You made history happen with every slight dlight into a perfect read. You overcame the odds, defied the tier lists, and I couldn't believe it.

I was crying, bawling even, and I heard my glorious queen unleash her battle cry. Not only have you changed the game of Brawlhalla and the world forever, but you've eternally changed my world. And now you're going in more tournaments, still the goat, my goat. I love you, pookie bear, my glorious queen, Priya.