Bro, I can’t even explain it. Capella is… like… peak goon material. Yeah, I know she’s objectively horrifying, yeah, her personality is toxic but you can’t tell me there isn’t a certain energy there. I’m out here like a whole clown, willingly simping for a woman who shapeshifts into nightmares. This is some next-level Stockholm Syndrome. Like, yeah, I get it, I’m not right in the head, but look, her wings? Majestic. Her aura of literal terror? Lowkey attractive. Every time I think, ‘That’s it, I’m done with Capella,’ she goes and does something despicable, and boom—I’m back in goon mode. I know she’s bad news. I know it. But I’m already halfway down the rabbit hole, and I’m not about to stop now. Call it a personality flaw. Call it a curse. All I know is, Capella has got me locked up like the DMV on a Friday afternoon, and I’m out here willingly. Help. Send therapy.
Every “jaws drop on floor” and “awooga humina humina” copypasta that started as a joke response circa 2020.
jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth
A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~
Whoa mama! Humina humina bazooing!
WHOA MAMA! HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA! BAZOOOOOOIING eyes bulge out of head and shoot forward at 120 mph AROOOOOOOOOOOOGA jaw drops to the floor, tongue rolls out a foot forward HAWT MAMA! punches self in face with boxing glove five times HOOLEY DOOLEY pulls on train whistle that has appeared beside head as steam blows out EEE-AW EEE-AW pulls out comically large carton of milk, drinks all of it spilling it everywhere GUHGUHGUHGUHGUHGUH wolf whistle AROOOOOOOOOOO AROOOOOOOO tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart ARF ARF ARF ARF rubs ass on ground like dog WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF eyes turn into slot machine slots WOWZA! tapdancing sounds, running in a circle JEEPERS HEEPERS pants like dog, rips off pants, heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM slams fists on table rattling any silverware or plates DUUUUUUHHHH bashes own head with hammer 5 times BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK slams chair on table BWOOOAAGHHHH old-timey car horn sound, tongue straightens out like wooden board, eyes go out of skull and back in like paddleballs CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA fireworks shoot from top of head PHWOAARRR sniffs air loudly, nostrils become comically large HONKA HONKA HONKA HONKA sound of mouth harp as body is straightened out, floating a foot above the ground JEEZ LOUISE propeller spins on hat comically WOWEEE gets massive erection, tries to aggressively push it back down into pants OINKA OINKA pulls out massive drum, starts beating it excessively HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA jumps on table, smashes through table and ground, springs back upward at an incredible velocity HOOOLY MOOOOLY pupils fly away from eyes, eyes snap forward towards them OOOOOOH I'M DYYYYYYYYYYIIN' fucking dies, ghost goes out of corpse with a lyre, body pulls ghost back into body WHADDA DAAAAME starts foaming at the mouth HUUUUUUUURRRRRR furiously turns crank on machine that hits hands on table GRRRR BARK BARK BARK head unscrews and starts rotating BUH-DOOIIOIOIOING starts rattling like a jar of coins, suspended half a metre in the air DING DING DING DING DING DING starts bouncing up and down at a high speed, starts boiling like tea kettle and turning red HAAAHEEEEEE
(Jaw drops 😲 to the floor 😱. Eyes pop out 😵. Sound effect 📣 of, "🚨 AWOOOOGA 🚨 AWOOOOGA 🚨!!!!" Places eyes 😶 and jaw 👅 back in place 🤤. Regains 😤 composure 😌.) ... Eh hem 🕵️, you three 💁💁💁 look quite lovely 😍.
HOT MAMA, now that’s a dame!
AUUUUGAA! HONKA HONKA! Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out accompanied by trumpets AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops, tongue rolls out, WOOF WOOF WOOF, heart beats out of chest, AWOOGA AWOOGA sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair, I take out a boxing glove and hit myself with it 17 times. Turns to the audience and say in 1930’s New York accent “HOT MAMA, now that’s a dame!”
Ahem, you look very lovely
*jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.
im not even going to mark this with a joke. i'm not even going to sugarcoat it. im not going to downplay my actions by saying "smash" or "would". i would fuck that thing. i dont care what anyone says. call me a degenerate all you want. i dont care. im fucking that thing. you cannot detour me. i would have them wring every last droplet out of my body. they would be covered, inside and out. i would not stop until they are leaking from each hole. i dont just mean your basic holes, such as the ass or mouth. no. im talking about every possible opening on their entire body. ears, nose, hell, i'd be willing to do the fucking bellybutton. the point is, i would use them. i would break them. we will exchange fluids. we will become one.
Every copypasta of Malenia from Elden Ring. Malenia, Blade of Miquella and Goddess of Rot is an optional boss in Elden Ring that is well known for her difficulty and challenge.
I am going to have sex with Malenia from Elden Ring
I am going to have sex with Malenia from Elden Ring. I find Malenia in Elden Ring sexy. However, her body is made up of 87% Scarlet Rot, and 100% Scarlet Rot surrounds her. That could kill me if I tried to have sex with her. To remedy this, Malenia casts an incantation on me making me resistant to Scarlet Rot. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points each second I am having sex with her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, It just means that I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with Malenia, I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with, especially non-humans! I'd rather take damage than not pleasure Malenia.
Malenia and I go to the Haligtree to have sex. When having sex with non-humans, it is ALWAYS sexier to have sex in their natural habitat rather than a human's natural habitat.
Before we went into the Haligtree, Malenia let all the Demigods know that we are just here for sex. The Demigods will not attack us because they know I am here at the Haligtree on sexual business. This includes the Omen. However, the Omen Mohg thinks that I am going to be an easy recruit for becoming a follower of Miquella considering that I am having sex with Malenia. However, I have no interest in becoming an Elden Lord.
CURSE YOU MALENIA
CURSE YOU MALENIA
I HEREBY VOW YOU WILL RUE THIS DAY
THICKER THAN OATMEAL YOU MAY BE FOUL WOMAN
BUT I WILL RIDDLE WITH CUM YOUR ROTTEN ASS
WITH A HAIL OF WHITE
WITH EVERY LAST DROP OF MY SEMEN
God I fucking need rotussy
God I fucking need rotussy I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Malenia, Goddess of Rot. That perfect, curvy body. Those perky breasts. The child-bearing hips of a literal goddess. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I’ll never mate with her, pass my genes through her, and have her birth a set of perfect offspring to become the new Demi-Gods. I’d do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to get Malenia, Goddess of Rot pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can’t is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Miyazaki create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fucking can’t anymore. Fuck
I’d be licking her rotussy like it’s a 5 star meal
i know some people say it'd be gross to have sex with malenia because of the scarlet rot, but idgaf. I'd be licking her rotussy like it's a 5 star meal. I'll get chunks of rot and just swallow and keep going, even though they're all slimy like period clots. I'll bite into one as it flows into my mouth and it'll pop, splashing some of that stinky rot juice onto my tongue. it'll burn a lil but I'm a freak like that so the pain makes it better. she'll just wrap her thick, powerful thighs around my head and hump my face, leaving a red rot stain all over my lips and nose. after a while her tight asshole will pucker slightly, and I'll brace myself, but it'll be too late. It opens a little and a red-tinged fart hits me in my face like a gust of wind, making my eyes water and leaving a little residue on my skin. I'll cough and choke from the stench, but she'll just hold me down and force me to keep eating her out. after what feels like an eternity of plunging my tongue into her disgusting, sweaty, fetid pussy she'll grab my head and squirt out the same shit that's in the lake of rot, forcing me to drink it. it'll just keep flowing out of her as she moans loudly in release, not even caring that I'm being suffocated in-between her thighs, until my belly is bulging and glowing red from the inside, and I'm turned into a mindless sex slave, my mind gone from the rot consuming me
The first time I came across Malenia I was throbbing
The first time I came across Malenia (and the 152 subsequent times) I was throbbing. Yeah. This isn’t the most unusual thing in the world, but I’m not used to having actual honest boners that aren’t just forced to give me my dopamine. The shock of this experience made it hard to focus and I died right away, but I took a few deep breaths and went back into her boss room, although the erection hadn’t calmed down yet. I actually managed to get to her second phase and used the cutscene as a way to take a break, but then it happened... her armor came off. That beautiful stomach, that flowing red hair... she was perfect. I felt something weird but I paid it no mind since I was already beyond myself and in awe, but when she approached me in her newly revealed form I shot it straight into my pants, hands free. I fell in love with her after this ordeal and she indeed has never known defeat against me, because I only go inside to let her beat me up
After all of this happened I ordered a life sized Malenia statue and married it and have never been happier since 💕
Imagine how Malenia would feel fom the inside
Imagine how Malenia would feel fom the inside, her rot can be used as lube and protection. I could drink her rotted period blood and make myself a smoothie from it if I have no coffee, since she probably emits a lot of it, If i could I would use crusty rot chunks as a filling for a sandwich, it would give it a nice crunchy feeling and remind me of my favourite demigod. God I want to fill gas cylinders with her farts and inhale them instead of air just to keep myself sane when I'm not near her because every time I don't see her, the only thing can I do is imagine her sitting on my face making me inhale her smell and eat her out and if I do a good job she calls me a good dog and gives me a reward in a form of letting me lick her gorgeous feet 😔
Chadfrey (Godfrey)
LONG😱 and HARD🥵 didst thou goon. Horniest Warrior🫡. Edged by bussy of gold🌝. Be assured, the Milf/Dilf combo. Resteth close at hand.✊✊✊ ALAS! I am edged🥵🥵 To be granted red harlot once more.😏 Upon my name as Chadfrey, The first Sigma Lord!😎😎😎
VAMOS CARALHOOOOO SL BENFICA 🔴⚪️ NÚMERO #1
VAMOS CARALHOOOOO SL BENFICA 🔴⚪️ NÚMERO #11111111☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️ 👍👍👍👍💪💪💪💪💪😎😎😎😎😎 VAMOS CARALHOOOOO SL BENFICA 🔴⚪️ NÚMERO #11111111☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️👍👍👍👍 💪💪💪💪💪😎😎😎😎😎VAMOS CARALHOOOOO SL BENFICA 🔴⚪️ NÚMERO #11111111☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️ 👍👍👍👍💪💪💪💪💪😎😎😎😎😎VAMOS CARALHOOOOO SL BENFICA 🔴⚪️ NÚMERO #11111111☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️ 👍👍👍👍💪💪💪💪💪😎😎😎😎😎
From a Reddit post of how Zenless Zone Zero made someone realize his feet fetish.
Posting from my main account because posts from my new account get automatically deleted, and I need my voice to be heard as soon as possible.
You probably read the title, so I am not going to repeat myself. I've played some hoyo games, genshin and honkai. So first thing that took me down the dark path was the trailer, more specifically, Grace's feet. I thought "wow, this game is crazy" then decided to download it (for the gameplay, not feet). I enjoyed the game of course, the gameplay, characters, farming, etc.
I was still rewatching the game and characters trailers, including the one with Grace's feet (the whole trailer, not just the part with her feet), and my reaction to Grace's feet changed every time i watched it. Started from "haha, that's weird" to ironically liking her feet to rewinding back to that clip a few times (for the animation in general, not just because of her feet or anything)
Then, the finishing blow came, Jane's character trailer (the one with feet). I loved Jane from the second I saw her character, so I was looking forward to watching the trailer for the first time. So when I finally pressed on the trailer and started watching, I saw her using her feet to lift the viewers head. I immediately paused the trailer and stared at the screen silently, I was stunned. I was looking at the still screen for a few more seconds, admiring (the whole shot, not just her feet). I then resumed the trailer and kept watching in silence. As soon as the trailer ended I rewatched it again, rewinding back to the first few seconds again and again. Anyways, at that point I realized that she changed me completely, and I am a lost cause.
Anyways, I just wrote this to let out my emotions and wanted to know if anyone else felt like that.
Edit: Thanks for your comments. After reading them, I just decided that I love feet
please dear fucking god send me back to 100BC and make me a starving slave that mine the gold in a toxic goldmine so that my hand can touch the gold that is melted down to made the ornaments that she wore. im so fucking livid. the absolute fucking despair i'm having. the madness.
years have i tour this world. floods, earthquakes, wars plagues, unrest and wildfires. i have killed men and women, countless. i have saved childrens and elderly, expecting nothing. i have set out to the worse of dunes and the vilest of forests. i have sailed the sea, toured the sky and ventured deep into our lands. and everyday, every moment, every fiber of my being. it itches of something more. something simple. something that could be fulfilled. not the joy of lust. not the power of money. not the thrill of violence no more. it is to be with her. i want to be with Novaria. even if im the dust that she steps on. my existence everyday itches just to escape this shell. my anger does not subside even when i fight with my life. chop me alive. drill my brain. burn me to ashes. if somehow my beings is in the same space with her, i'll do it. if you need me to fight against an army for it, consider it done. i'll fight the worse of devils. i'll fight gods if i have to. i'll do anything. even for just a split second where i'm in the same space for her. even as a little atom
