Timmy the redditor, master of woodcutting and supreme slayer master. Nobody can dare match his skill in the medival clicking simulator called RuneScape. Never missing an xp, never missing a tick, not even his bodily functions can tame his sincere desire to gain xp.
But whats this? A cowardly gang of thieves, hell bent on ruining Timothies Efficient Experience per hour has shown their dastardly faces. One by one, they take their turns with timmy - his squeals and crys howl through all of glienor.
In a desperate attempt to communicate with his attackers, he lets out a plea to reasoning: "Why?" he says aloud. "I have nothing on me lol". Timmy adjusts his glasses and thinks to himself, "Surely these young men must know that violating me gains them poor experience per hour and doing so leaves them at a net loss of gold pieces."
To Timmy's dismay, the attack continues. Panic starts to set in and Timmy shifts uncomfortably in his soiled trousers. Gasping for air at the thought of his RuneScape avatar being defiled by these villians, he makes another desperate attempt at appealing to reason, "This is why I vote no to PvP updates! The wilderness is dieing because of you guys!" Timmy sneers and thinks, "Heh, now they have to stop disrupting my efficient experience gains or else they will never get an update to player versus player!"
But the onslaught does not end, ripping and ravaging Timmy until he is down to his very last lobster. Then Timmy sees HungryJose227 running at him, a warrior clad in full snakeskin armor, wielding only a sharp knife. Timmy tries to get away but is frozen in fear at the sight of fearsome pk man. Finally, HungryJose227 lustfully descends upon Timmy, inserting his dragon dagger. Hopelessness sets in for Timmy, he knows he will never gain back the 15 seconds of experience and his precious clue scroll. As conciousness fades, he reminicses on the safety and warmth of his beloved slayer cave,"I never should have came here! I want to go back to the slayer cave where it's safe, my items won't be stolen in there and I won't be violated by Jose's Draggon Dagger! Mother Nieve is waiting for me back at home in the slayer cave, how can I return to her like this? I hate the wilderness and I hate pk man!"
Just as Hungry Jose Finishes unloading his special attack onto desecrated Timmy, he kneels down and whispers into Timmies ear, "Siéntate niño".
Cheese capers should learn to stop back talking infernals or higher. If someone with a cheese cape has an opinion that differs from an infernal's, the cheese caper should NOT try to reason with the infernal. He shouldn't ask why either. He should take what the infernal says as fact without talking back. Too many times, I've seen a cheese caper backtalk an infernal, and it's disgusting, because the cheese caper is wrong most of the time. The only time a cheese caper is right is when 2,148,000,000 cheese capers are talking back to a single infernal. There's a reason why you're stuck in your cheese cape. It's because you think different than the infernals. Start thinking like an infernal.
One time when I was 8 I was at the duel arena and I didnt know what pures were and there was a level 65 pure and i was level 80 something and he offered to duel me for my guthix full helm which was like 150k. thinking he was just a noob i thought it would be easy money til he ice blitzed me in my full granite to death. i cried for about 15 minutes til my mom got on there and started asking him to give it back because i was only 8 and i didnt know what i was doing. the guy replied that he would make me think i won it from him if i staked my granite maul and my mom thought he was nice until he ice blitzed me again for my gmaul and i cried to sleep that night.
whenever i step toe in wildy i run into these john wicks. thats what i call them atleast. when you get attacked by a john wick your dead. i cant even type when these guys attack because i panic eat so hard. i beg for mercy but they have no idea what that is. after i die they dont even say anything. no "sit" nothing... im almost convinced they use two mouses.
I saw Mod Ash at a grocery store in Cambridge yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
To the person who pk’d me and my wife at the iron bar spawn… Congratulations. Congratulations for ruining our return to the game. Congratulations for making me regret trying this game out again. Congratulations on being the reason this game is hemorrhaging players. Not to mention, I knew you were an ironman too from your typing so you literally gain nothing from doing that and now, thanks to you, we lost our hardcore status. Hope your little punk group is having fun getting bullied in school.
