Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview. As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. :)
Today on How They Do It : Plumbuses.
Everyone has a plumbus in their home. First they take the dingle bop and they smooth it out with a bunch of schleem. The schleem is then...repurposed for later batches.
They take the dingle bop and they push it through the grumbo, where the fleeb is rubbed against it. It's important that the fleeb is rubbed, becasue the fleeb has all the fleeb juice.
Then, a schlami shows up, and he rubs it...and spits on it.
They cut the fleeb. There's several hizzards in the way.
The blamfs rub against the chumbles, and the...plubis, and grumbo are shaved away.
That leaves you with...a regular old plumbus.
Not so fast Morty. You heard your mom. We’ve got adventures to go on, Morty. Just you and me. And sometimes your sister, and sometimes your mom, but never your dad. You wanna know why, Morty? Because he crossed me. Oh, it gets darker, Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that’s different? No more dad, Morty. He threatened to turn me in to the government, so I made him and the government go away! I’ve replaced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason I rescued you. I just took over the family, Morty! And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I’ll deny it, and they’ll take my side because I’m a hero, Morty! And now your gonna have to go and do whatever I say, Morty! Forever! An-and I-I-I’ll go out and I’ll find some more of that Mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty! Th-b-because that’s what this is all about Morty! Th-that’s my one-armed man! I’m not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty, that was fake! I-I-I’m driven by finding that mcnugget sauce! I want that Mulan mcnugget sauce, Morty! That’s my series arc, Morty! If it takes nine seasons, I want my mcnugget dipping sauce szechuan sauce, Morty! That’s what’s gon-it’s gonna take us all the way to the end, Morty! Season nine more seasons, Morty! Nine more seasons until I get that dipping szechuan sauce! For ninety-seven more years, Morty! I want that mcnugget sauce Morty!
Yeah, I'm a Rick and Morty fan.
Yeah, I shout "Wubba lubba dub dub" to people wearing Rick and Morty merch.
So what? I do it because they're like me. They see the world for what it really is. When I utter that phrase to a fellow fan, it's with the understanding that we're both in this thing together. We can both understand things at a deeper level.
People make jokes about how Rick and Morty fans pretend to be more intelligent, but it's true. We are. And because of this show, this masterpiece, us like minded intellectuals can interact and communicate without having to acknowledge those lesser people.
Yeah, I'll eat szechuan sauce off the ground. Because that's what Rick would have done, and I think of myself as a Rick, as any intelligent fan would.
Thank you Daniel Harmon. Thank you Justin Roiland. Thank you for giving us a community where we can all move forward to a better tomorrow through science and comedy.
Thank you.
When you step into the Rick and Morty fandom realm, you're not going any old place. You're coming to the underground fight club of intellect. Prepare to be mentally battered. But don't worry, after you've spent your newbie time being cognitively pummeled, you'll have joined the ranks of the mental elite.
Then you'll see the world for what it truly is. All those people going around without a thought in their head. You'll hate it. You'll become just like him. And you'll start loving it. The power of intelligence, of absolute intellectual superiority. It'll become a high you chase, constantly learning and experimenting.
You'll finally be a Rick.
What you guys have no Szechuan sauce? I WANT SZECHUAN SAUCE! WHERE'S MY SZECHUAN SAUCE??!! I'M PICKLE RICK!!!!!!!! WUBBALUBBADUBDUB!!!!!! I'M PICKLE RICK!!!! REEEEEEEEE!!!! REEEEE!!!! REEEEE!!!! IM PICKLE REEEEEEEEE!!!! REEEEEE!!!!! REEEEE!!!!!!
