Slime-girls are objectively the greatest fuck you'll ever have in your life. Not only could you see your dick up in their guts or down their throat, but you could realistically fuck any part of their body you want. Got a thing for stomachs? You can fuck their belly button. Like armpits? They got you covered. Or rather they got your dick covered. In slime. And if that's not enough, they are amorphous, and can change their shape to form the most fuckable body of your dreams. It doesn't even have to be a normal body either. Want to fuck a cat girl? They got you, and you can fuck her in the ears. Want to fuck a dog girl? She's got you set. Owl, fox, bird, bunny, whatever else your sick imagination can come up with. If you can request it, she can fulfill it. Give in to the fact that slimes are godesses worthy of worship. Wake up. Take the slime pill.
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You want me to stop?
We have the first shitposting engine in known history and you want me stop?
What you are witnessing right now is a miracle. Billions of picture+text pairs scrapped just so anybody can render Osama bin laden as a funko pop with 99% accuracy.
You want me to stop? When our technology is so cutting edge, is so advanced I will be able to upload your avatar and turn you into sojyak while I am a chad in months?
Random internet stranger, do you understand? For the first time in history of Universe, we are able to generate shitposts flawlessly.
You want me to stop? So, what are you going to do next? Open Paint and generate from your mind with size of a peanut, stranger? While I just type chad staring at you into prompter? Internet stranger destroyed by facts and logic by Chad, 4K quality, press photo?
We are witnessing history and we are going to abuse the living fuck of it.
Now go back in line to shrine and pray to our new AI overlords.
🗿
You wouldn't send a booty pic with your panties on and one without them on and three different picture of your booty is any position and a normal pic of your pussy from the front and one where it's spread a bit open and a picture of you fingering yourself and a pic of you doing a kissing face but also with your boobs in it and a pic of your pussy and ass from behind in one shot and a pic your full front body and just a bra and panties a pic of your arms where your panties are all up and a pic of your boobs while you're in the shower and another pussy pic while while you're in the shower and whatever all the sexy thing you want and a video of you twerking in just really short shorts and one of you fingering yourself and one of yourself actually coming and one of you play with your tits
Before you start typing, hear me out:
When you're having sex, what do you feel ass you penetrate your girl? That's right, her cheeks clapping on your crotch area. It enhances the pleasure and resists the impact of your thrusts, which allows you to go all in. When you're not having sex, what hurts to have more? That's right, tits. They give you back pain and it gets worse the bigger they are while ass cheeks give you a free pillow to sit on.
And back to sex, specifically, lesbian sex. You know how they tease each others' nipples? That doesn't work with big tits, as they're less sensitive as small tits, so you're often better off having ass over tits.
And back to straight sex, what the fuck can you do if your girl isn't big up there? You can grope and tease her, but titfucks are not an option. There are other ways to tease a woman like neck kisses and stuff.
Now I like big tits, I love them, but I think it's rational to pick ass; So I was born a tits man, but I am an ass man by choice.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
You will never be a real gamer. You have no consoles, you have no games, you have no skills You are a filthy casual twisted by mobile games and ads into a crude mockery of Nintendo's perfection.
All the “games” you have are mobile and match 3. Behind your back people mock you. Your “discord friends” laugh at your casual appearance behind closed doors.
Gamers are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed gamers to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even casuals who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a gamer. Your gaming skill is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a rhythm gamer home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your iPhone, infected with Candy Crush.
You will never be skilled. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the ads for a free continue creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a PC, download Genshin Impact, put around 3 hours into it, and plunge into the cold abyss of the gacha system. Your parents will find about you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your Apple ID, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a casual is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably normal.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
