Greetings and salutations,
Despite my lack of experience, I am incredibly horny (some may say a sexual deviant). Every day I have vivid lucid dreams of doggystyle, pussy eating, edging, pegging, ruined orgasms, blindfolded blowjobs, nipple play, facials, squirting, and much much more. To quote the late great Martin Luther King Jr, "I have a dream" and that dream is to finally lose my coveted virginity. There isn't much to know about me, I am a fairly simple man. Apart from reading the works of Dostoevsky and Tolstoy, I am infatuated with the pussy. The pussy is all that I can think of. To me pussy is much more than the female anatomy, it's a religious doctrine. The Mohammedan or Jesuit may pray to their holy Gods but I worship the pussy. Some may say there is such a life without which you desire, my rebuttal is as follows, what life? What life is there on this God-forsaken planet without indulging in the delicacy of pussy? What life must a man live without consuming the art of lust? It is a cardinal sin for thou to suppress its animalistic urges. For what will it take for me to get pussy? Siddhārtha Gautama sat under the bodhi tree for 49 days for him to become the Buddha, will my deprivation of pussy be responsible for my ascension to enlightenment? I hath become a mad man. The wonders of modern medicine can't save me but the flesh of a woman will. My face is buried in my palms. Tears wept as I am subjugated to the horrors of humanity. My hunger for the joyous pussy is immeasurable. I need to be fed. Please take me out of my misery.
It has been 13 hours since overwatch 1 has shutdown. The amount of sadness I feel is Immeasurable. The pain and suffering I feel right now is indescribable. The terrible agony I feel is incomprehensible to any living organism. The amount of despair I feel is unstable, unbalanced, deranged even. I truly can’t live in this world if I can’t play my favorite game overwatch. I’m so miserable. I can’t take this suffering I’ll do anything to play overwatch again. This was my everything and you took it.
So basically, whenever I'm being petted, or cuddled, or just feel extremely cozy and comfy, I make these little "mmmm!" and "ohhhh" "uhhhhh" sounds. I've been told they sound kind of sexual, though my partner says they're not quite the same.
I generally don't like being touched AT ALL, but when my partner pets me I go nuts for it. I melt into a purring puddle. It caaaaan be sexual but most the time isn't. It's just. Happy warm fuzzy feelings! Is this weird? I've never met anyone else who does this.
Thanks in advance! Wish y'all lots of happy pets and cuddles 💓
"🤓"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "🤓"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only thing you can comprehend is "🤓" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "🤓" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about one fucking emoji? I bet you took the time to type that emoji too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "🤓" on your gravestone?
Dude stop. My brother died in a circus accident. stop using the clown emoji. Rest in peace to my brother. Please refrain from using it in your life, that is wrong to all the people who lost their lives. I sincerely hope you learn from this mistake and no longer make the same choice again. Please evaluate your life choices, and question yourself to why you decided to use the clown emoji. I understand that you may have been through alot, but that does not mean you should joke about dead people. You may have been abused or hurt, but do not use that as an excuse to hurt others. If i ever catch you using offensive things again, so help me god i will find you. I will find you myself. I swear on my brothers circus that i will stop at no cost. You are my enemy. And i will hunt you like you are my prey.
‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING CHESS REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! ♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️ CHESS IS THE BEST FUCKING GAME EVER ⬛⬜️⬛⬜️⬛⬜️⬛⬜️⬛⬜️ MANDATORY EN CROISSANT!?!?!?!?🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐 HOLY HELL!!!!❗❓ OMG NEW RESPONSE JUST DROPPED 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂 ANYONE CAN BEAT STOCKFISH JUST PLAY BONGCLOUD TO CONFUSE IT LMFAO 🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟💨💨💨💨💨💨💨 HANS DILDO ENGINE LMAO !!! HANS DILDO ENGINE LMAO !!! HANS DILDO ENGINE LMAO !!! HANS DILDO ENGINE LMAO 📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿1. d4 Nf3 ❗❓ 2. c4 resigns LLLLLLLLL 3. Ke2#❗❓⁉️ EN PASSANT CHECKMATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️ AGAINST GARY CHESS?!?!?!?!😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 CHESS IS RACIST BECAUSE WHITE GOES FIRST (a refrence to bobby stockfischer) 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂HORSEY MOVES HALF DIAGONAL AND JUMPS🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎 I HATE WOMEN AND MINORITIES (another refrence to bobby L. stockfischer)🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿 Pipi Pampers ♟️♟️ You are the biggest loser I have seen in my entire life!♟️♟️♟️ Stop with these trush talkings!!♟️♟️"w"esley "s"o ♟️Everybody knows I am a very good blitz player!!! ♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️ No need to listen for every crying babe ♟️♟️♟️remember what you say about Firouzja ♟️♟️♟️♟️be brave, be honest, and i can win anyone in the world in single game! ♟️♟️Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair !♟️♟️♟️ You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents ♟️♟️ ♟️ ♟️ ♟️ True will never die ! Liers will kicked off... ♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️♟️ Chess 2 when!?!?❓❓⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️❓❓❓❓❓❓❓Quishhop moves like a queen and bishop😂🤣BRICC PIPI PAMPERS😂🤣😂🤣BRICC PIPI PAMPERS😂😂😂🤣BRICC PIPI PAMPERS🤣🤣😂😂
