All other countries are run by little girls, Kazahstan number one exporter of potassium, all other countries have inferior potassium, Kazahstan home of tinshein swimming pool it's length thirty meters and width six meter, filtration system a marvel to behold it removes 80 percent of human solid waste Kazahstan, Kazahstan you very nice place from plains of tarashek to Northen fence of jewtown Kazahstan friend of all except Uzbekistan they very nosey people with bone in their brain. Kazahstan industry best in world we invented toffe and trouser belt Kazahstan,s prostitues cleanest in the region except of course for Turkmenistan,s. Kazahstan, Kazahstan you very nice place from plains of tarashek to Northen fence jewtown. Come grasp the mighty penis of our leader from junction with the testes to tip of it's face
So recently I stumbled across a post saying that the vomiting emoji (🤮) looks like it was giving head to Shrek. I had to start furiously jerking off while looking at vomiting emoji on Google images due to my overwhelming ogre fetish. The way the emoji is sucking Shrek's massive cock makes me horny as fuck. I continued beating my meat to this one image for twelve minutes straight until I finally came, then I realized what I had masturbated to.
I literally cannot unsee it so every time I saw the vomiting emoji I was forced to think about Shrek blowjob. One time while I was at work, but then I saw a 🤮 emoji, I instantly started jerking off because of how hot this image really is. People were shocked at first but when I told them it's ogre blowjob they all started masturbating together. Eventually I got fired for causing all this mess.
This could all be prevented if the vomiting emoji didn't look like someone giving head to Shrek. Please make it look less erotic so this doesn't happen again.
Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi, you chiisai bitch desuka? Watashi'll have anata know that watashi graduated top of my class in political science, and watashi've been involved in iroirona shakuhachi tutoring sessions, and watashi have over sanbyaku perfect test scores. Watashi am trained in the Kamisato Art, and watashi is the top commissioner in all of Inazuma. Anata are nothing to watashi but just another Hillchurl. Watashi will korosu anata the fuck out with a deadly melody the likes of which has neber meen mimasu'd before on the Teyvat, mark watashino fucking words. Anata thinks that anata can get away with hanashimasing that kuso to watashi in front of Ayaka? Omou again, fucker. As we hanashimasu, watashi am contacting watashino secret netto of governors accross Teyvat, and anatano IP is being traced right now so you better junbishimasu for the ame, ujimushi. The ame that korosu's the pathetic chiisai thing anata calls anatano life. You're fucking shinimashita'd, akachan. Watashi can be anywhere, anytime, and watashi can korosu anata in over nanahyaku ways, and that's just with watashino bare hands. Not only am watashi extensively trained in unarmed murder, but watashi have access to the entire arsenal of the Yasuhiro Commission and watashi will use it to its full extent to wipe anatano miserable ketsu off the face of Teyvat, you little manko. If only anata could have known what unholy houfuku anatano little "rikou" komento was about to bring down upon anata, maybe anata would have held anatano fucking tongue. But anata couldn't, anata didn't, and now anata are paying the price, you goddamn bakayarou. Watashi will shit moui all over anata and anata will drown in it. This is your death note, akachan: https://youtu.be/V-bGc_b5ys4
I am done.
I am done with you. I mentally can’t deal with you anymore. Every day I think of you, and for what reason? You used to make me so happy; hearing your name used to put me in such a good mood, and for what? I don’t know why I’m writing this. You’ll never see this. You never bothered with the way I felt. I can’t anymore. I can not take it anymore. You caused so much joy yet so much despair in one year. It’s like I’m on a sick roller coaster where my feelings are the ones that are at stake. You slowly took me up to the peaks of my happiness, and just like that, when you didn’t expect it, you took me to lows I didn’t even know I had. Finally, taking me through a series of loop de loops which makes me feel sick every time I think of you.
It’s 1 am, and we both know I don’t make rash decisions when I’m tired. As I rest my head on my plush blue pillow, procrastinating on an assessment, staring into the soft glow of my laptop screen, I wonder when do I let you put me through this again? What’s that old saying? “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.” Hell, I’m already a fool, so what’s after that? Do you know what still get’s me? I still love you. I don’t know why. It doesn’t matter how much torment you put me through; I still love you. I still imagine you, I still imagine us, and I’m holding on to something that didn’t even happen, but it makes me so happy. Actually, being in a healthy relationship with someone, genuinely caring for someone, is something I’ve longed for, and I thought that could be us. It turns out I was wrong, but hey, that’s love, right? I had every opportunity to tell you how I felt about you, but I didn’t tell you. I always felt like you knew. You’ve had to of known. But when I needed closure, when I needed the last say, I get denied it. I get pushed away, having to be told by your friend that you’d prefer me as a stranger. I just feel empty.
I still picture your eyes, your sweet innocent brown eyes. I can get lost in them all day, but yet there is no residue of a torturer inside of them. Your innocent voice was so calming. It made me feel safe. It’s funny, isn’t it? How I still hang onto things even though they are dead. I’m like a gardener trying to keep my precious orchids alive, but I just get hit by storms from left to right. I need to speak to a therapist, don’t I? That's a problem for tomorrow. You seriously don’t know how tired I am, both physically and mentally. I am so close to falling asleep on this keyboard. It’s idiotic. But just the thought of you makes me stop. You take over my mind; it’s a sick, horrible form of torture. Just to let you know, this letter isn’t for you. It’s for me. Because I need the closure because I need the ending, I need this to be finished, and I’m not letting the image of you dictate my life anymore.
Honestly, it feels like whiplash; we’re friends, then we’re not, then friends, then we’re not. Like I said before, how long do you think it's going to take for me to let you do this again? Or are you going to move on to the next person? You know what? I am done with you. I am done with your name, your face, and your friends. You’ve tainted your own self-image to where I feel physically sick when I hear your name. I am done.
AHAHAHAHHA GUYS! BOTTOMS! THE POST SAID BOTTOMS!
I am begging all 196 users to shut the fuck up about bottoms. It’s not like bottoming for gamers you grassless horndogs it’s just a position on a team. Not everything has to be about fucking. You aren’t “bottoming for oncoming traffic” when you stop at an intersection. Concepts can exist separate to sex and we don’t have to keep making the same fucking jokes over and over and over again please just be funny this constant “OOH HEEHEE GUYS GUESS WHAT? BOTTOMS 🥺!” is THE lamest most unfunny shit on this sub
Oh, these? My thighs? My fat fucking thighs? My thundering fat fukin legs? My 0.01mm thigh gaps? My jean ripping, pants splitting, man whore attractor? My thicc fucking neck choking, skull crushing, dick splitting thighs? These thundering thighs? Is that wat ur talking about? What abt it dude?
